Am I being too cautious about covid?

Life is full of risks - and always has been. Almost any illness can kill if the wrong person gets it at the wrong time.

But nothing kills as much as fear does, when we retreat into a life where we are too afraid to go out to mix and be social. Older people deprived of social contacts die, on average at a younger age than those who see and speak to people face to face.

My DH had heart surgery during the first year of COVID, which went very well. Unfortunately he developed a hospital acquired infection, not COVID that was antibiotic resistant and it was touch and go for a few days. He now has a damaged lung and cannot wear a mask. However, he has returned to normal life, on the basis that he is alive and otherwise well, he wants to get back to normal and not live under a pall of fear.

yellowcanary Don't rush into doing too much - that can lead to long covid.
Take time to recover.

It's taken me a while to stop wearing a mask and feel comfortable about it. I think that it's a case of 'each to their own', ie: wear a mask if that makes you feel comfortable. I still carry one with me.

My friend and I had both managed to avoid Covid (she works from home anyway, several people in work with me had it) until this week - after returning from a long awaited cruise she tested positive Sunday, me on Thursday. I feel as if I've been run over even after four days, still feeling rough - will be testing tomorrow/Tuesday for hopefully going back into work however will be working from home from tomorrow. Once I can go out and about again will still wear my mask in shops for a while. We haven't started back to the theatre/cinema yet but that is more that we haven't seen anything we like coming up as yet.

I went to a yard sale in the next village yesterday and it was wonderful meeting and chatting with people. I even bumped into someone I knew from a few years ago who’d moved house and we swapped telephone numbers and planned to meet up. I actually mentally feel like a new person today and quite invigorated albeit realising that my dodgy knee is getting worse. Along with Alnmouth Arts Festival, the yard sale has always been one of my favourite days in the year. Next year I’m going to have a good clear out and take part in the sale myself. I sometimes feel as if I’ve been in some sort of time warp; it’s quite surreal.

What is the point of being alive if you don’t go anywhere? We are living life as we lived before the pandemic. I’ve even been abroad. We see the grandchildren, have had friends to stay and go to the theatre. I thought we would all die of Covid but we caught it and weren’t very ill. We only have one life and we are living it.

I do think there is a significant psychological element to this. We became so used to hiding from Covid that it became habitual. Suddenly breaking such an ingrained habit is hard. I know some people have to shield still but most people don't. Our nieghbour is still disinfecting the groceries she has delivered. It's impossible to persuade her that it's not necessary.
When I tested positive for Covid my overwhelming feeling was, 'Is this it? Is this what I've been restricting my life for all these months?'. I do know that the vaccines have really been effective though.
The first time out without a mask etc felt very odd but we rapidly got used to it. It was wonderful. I put our large selection of masks away in the hall cupboard last night. It felt like a big step.

We have been extremely cautious for the whole time. I haven't gone to my exercise class and have gotten very out of shape. I have found good exercise videos on YouTube, but need to actually do them! Husband has some health issues and is extremely worried about getting Covid. We are vaccinated and boosted. He can get himself worked up about it and get very dramatic if we are going to see our adult children and grandkids. I actually go out less than he does, but his behavior is affecting my mental state.

I have had all my vaccinations and covid plus a cancer diagnosis. Very gruelling chemo last year has given me extra time, I live life as before covid in fact I rarely think about it.

I should have read before posting- spelling mistake and a lack of punctuation!

I am 73 and in fairly good health but my husband is older and very vulnerable because of respiratory problems. We have been extremely careful until recently but have now relaxed a bit as need some normality back in our lives. I still wear a mask in shops, and don't go to restaurants or pubs but doo have friends in for coffee occasionally. If it weren't for my husband being unwell I think I would still wear a mask in crowded places to protect others and myself but would be much more relaxed and be prepared to go into restaurants etc.

Many of the people who are medically vulnerable, were presumably medically vulnerable before lockdown and leading lives that avoided going anywhere where there were lots of people or likely to be infections lurking about.

In hindsight, I must have been medically vulnerable pre-pandemic, but had never gave a thought as to how vulnerable I was, until I received notification that I was considered CEV for three different conditions.
As for avoiding busy places, I was a teacher, so certainly couldn't avoid infection.

MayBee70 I think some people have a natural immunity to some of these viruses. I have never had flu. Neither did my parents or sisters, nor my children. Even the Asian flu in the mid/late 50s when I was at boarding school, we stayed unafffected.

It has been the same with COVID. Neither DH and I, nor our children have had it. DS was in quarantine in a small house with wife and both children down with it and he didn't get it.

DD, who was a lockdown and mask sceptic, and has been out and about extensively whenever as she could, going to the theatre and travelling on public transport and she hasn't had it either. Although she was not a COVID sceptic and, like the rest of us, had all the vaccinations as soon as she could get them.

Many of the people who are medically vulnerable, were presumably medically vulnerable before lockdown and leading lives that avoided going anywhere where there were lots of people or likely to be infections lurking about. I would say that COVID is back to that level, so all they need to do now is what they did before COVID, but with the added advantage, that they can wear a mask in crowded places now, that they prohably couldn't have done before COVID without attracting unnecessary attention.

My ex dropped by this morning. He’s still working and says everyone is just behaving as though covid doesn’t exist. He’s led a fairly normal life throughout the pandemic. Has seen our children and grandchildren on a regular basis and has never caught it.

I have had 4 vaccines so I consider covid is something we have t live with. When you are vaccinated covid is not a death sentence. I have NEVER tested at all and will not start now you have to pay, and stopped wearing my masks ages ago

I noticed that Maybee 70 mentioned missing the gym. There are so many free exercise sessions on YouTube. My DH and I sometimes do the Joe Wicks for seniors workouts and there are lots more. Something to suit everyone!

I have noticed that some people even though they are exposed to the Covid infection do not catch it. My son who has lived a full as possible life throughout the last two years has not been infected.I did read that people who had the Swine flu virus may have some sort of immunity but nothing has been proven. He was the only person in our family to catch that one.

This is such a tricky one. We have stuck to the rules and guidance, and stayed safe, but now it is a free for all, and I caught covid mildly just before Easter, though I had no energy for about five weeks after.
We have to weigh up the potential risks of Covid against the rest of our lives and our well- being.
For example, I would not go on a plane, or on busy public transport or to the theatre, but singing is important to me as I am in three choirs, and maybe that is just as risky, though we do have mitigations, open windows, chairs spaced etc.
I sometimes wonder( now we have vaccines and better treatments) what are we living for, if we are hiding ourselves away, avoiding things that make us happy?

We are all behaving as if it has gone away now
All vaccinated and we have all had covid
I think you have to do what you feel comfortable with and for some that will still mean being more cautious. I might be more cautious in winter again

It really is for each person to make their own choice my choice is to live life normally your choice is to be cautious both are right for us and neither of us have to feel we need to change to fit in with the other
Do what s comfortable fr you whilst being aware that the longer you stay ‘in’ the harder it is to get ‘out’ and life is short

Candelle, we seem to be in a very similar position, concerning our health conditions, RA, two chronic lung conditions, heart damaged by RA, Osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, Sjogren's syndrome, unhealed spinal and foot fractures and of course immunocompromised, but to my utter astonishment I got through it.
It wasn't a pleasant experience, but I as I have already said, I was actually relieved, after living with fear and anxiety for so long.
Covid is still a killer for some of us and I will be continue to be extremely mindful of that, but I do not wish to spend the last few years of my life, unable to enjoy it. I am tired of it all.

I had no hospital treatment nor monitoring for over two years and as a consequence, my health deteriorated pretty rapidly, including having two heart attacks.

However, Candelle, I hope that my positive experience may give you some hope for the future. I wish you well.
Understandably we need to make our own decisions. I am very resilient and stoic, but was broken by this situation and for me, it is time to move on.

I think you need to do what you are comfortable with and which does not cause you to feel anxious - don’t feel forced to do what others are doing. I am still having shopping delivered and wear a mask if I have to be indoors with others, apart from DD and her family. I only go to gardens or coast for outings.

I'm 82, and believe that life is for living, not hiding away. As soon as my usual activities restarted so did I. Wearing a mask, at first, but now back to normal. I'm in Australia, for 3 months, visiting my 3 kids and finally seeing my 2 year old grandson, at last.
I had only been here a couple of weeks when my DD, then GD, then SIL all came down with Covid. None of them had any symptoms worse than a minor cold. I took what precautions I could, and didn't catch it. I had my 4th vaccination before leaving the U.K.
Some people seem to have become phobic about catching Covid, and it's wrecking their lives. Unless
you have serious medical problems forget about it. Most people, if they are infected, aren't really ill at all. You are still quite young. Get out and enjoy your lives.

No, NittWitt, you are not being too cautious. There are many people who say that Covid was 'a bad cold* and bully for them. There are others for whom the opposite is true. You must do what you feel it right for you.

Marydoll, I didn't want to drone on about my health but I do have more than a 'couple of conditions' (heart, lungs and spine - just to begin with!) so understand how living with a body which refuses to cooperate as one wishes feels like.

I was pleased to read your experience of having the infusion. I have been told that if I test positive, I should have this as quickly as possible, so it was interesting to read your account, although of course, I hope not to need it.

I have been clinically advised to be careful of mixing with others which is what I do.

I did write that I was not worrying about Covid! If I thought about it constantly I would indeed wreck my mental health so I don't but that's not to say that I shouldn't take sensible measures and not throw caution to the wind.

I also feel that I choose what I do and I don't expect others to compensate for my health (although the kind ones do) but equally, I do not give advice to 'normal' friends as to what they should/should not do, although a few seem very keen to advise me (“Covid is just a bad cold”) ......

You wrote However, I refuse to catastrophise, nor live in fear for the rest of my life.... I agree and hope that this didn’t refer to me as I don't and didn't say that I did! Everyone has to make their own mind up as to what is best for them.

If I didn't have health problems I would be back in the theatres, cinemas etc., but feel that's a step too far at the moment. My grandchildren have all caught Covid, most of them asymptomatically (which is why they all test before they come to visit me). If others feel this is over-reacting, so be it. They are not me!

MOnica I agree, many diseases were killers and have since been tamed via inoculation etc., however Covid is a killer. It is new and our knowledge and understanding is not yet at a stage where a vaccination or pill will stop it in its tracks. Hopefully in time…..

I am sure that you are correct in saying that there are treatments for Covid which is better managed, however it is still a killer and I stand by that. I am fully vaccinated (four doses of vaccine) but should I catch it I could... not will... be extremely ill with both heart and lungs compromised (my drugs have knocked out my immune system and any infection could be dangerous).

What is this 'fear' that you write of? Yes, I do fear having Covid (wouldn't you in my shoes?!) but do not spend my time worrying about it or possible outcomes as you seem to infer! I repeat that I initially wrote I am not worried...

I am delighted that Covid is gradually being tamed but think that it is a clever wee beastie and will still be trying to outsmart us for a while to come.

Let everyone do as they wish with regard to 'normal' lives and I will do the same (without worrying!!) in my own way but let’s not berate those who still feel they ought be cautious.

Thanks for starting this thread NittWitt. I was thinking of asking the same question because I have just got used to living a life of semi seclusion and I don’t know how to move on from it. My son and his family stayed with us at Easter. They’d just had covid so we felt safe with them. I looked after my grandson last week at his house and it was the first time I’d been in my daughters house while other people were in it (I’m usually looking after the dog). I don’t go to the cinema, shop or travel by bus. I know that, if I do start living a normal life I’ll catch covid as it’s so infectious; I don’t think there’s any avoiding it. I think my main worry is the unpredictability of the virus and, having kept myself really healthy for most of the pandemic I’ve rather let myself go recently. I think my main worry is being very ill and my dog not having me to look after her; she has got DH but she’s very much my dog and she’s my world. I cancelled a cinema visit a few weeks ago because I didn’t want to miss out on the holiday with my son. The thing I miss the most is going to the cinema and that, to me, is the most dangerous thing to do, being in an enclosed space for two hours with people coughing. Apart from that I’m quite happy pottering about the house and watching my favourite tv channels. I miss the gym, too, and have become very fat and flabby. Every time I have decided to live a more normal life something has stopped me eg increase in infection rates, new variants. People in my street that are older than me and have health problems are leading a more normal life than I am. I don’t really know how to move on. Sorry to rant on; just wanted to get it off my chest!