🦞 Locked down no longer but still firm friends 🦞

Thank you both. I just can’t shake the idea I want him back. I know I can’t but I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s in my mind all the time. It doesn’t feel right he’s not here. I’m lucky we had so long together. Must count my blessings.

Dear Doodle,
I can't even begin to understand the pain and loneliness you must be going through at the moment.
All I can do is to wrap you in a hug and say that I am holding you in my thoughts.
Friday will be hard but you will do your man and your family proud. That much I do know.🥀

Oh, Doodles, I do know exactly what you mean about wanting him back and still, after nearly a year, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if my DH walked into the room. I still talk to him all the time.

The house seems so still too. Things stay where you put them. All tidy and clean. (Hence, I now have a Kira who is turning into a chewer of socks and rootler of bins) and if your tinnitus is like mine, it will settle back again. It's stress turning the volume up. So much to do and get your head around. All you can do is concentrate on one thing at a time and all will slowly resolve itself. So I am told.

Despite the changeable weather, I had a good time in Scotland with my friends. Laughter and nostalgia in equal measure. The best bit was a trip on the Jacobite Express. I was so excited before we left that the engine driver let me up into the cab. The sun even shone! I was amazed at how many people were on the hillsides and laybys where the road ran alongside the track. Out to take photos, and one even standing with just a microphone to record the sound. What is it about steam trains? We stayed on Arran too which meant driving the Camperbubble on and off ferries - twice! Another favourite island to add to my list. I spent the last two days on my own travelling back. I think I may be ready to go solo.

Tonight I have the novelty of internet AND television and tomorrow, the heap of washing and grass to cut. It's at least a foot high.

What a fascinating post Mamissimo and takes me back to when I was researching my first book and how different food affect a persons ability to stay well.

Microbiologist Stamen Grigorov first discovered the healin value of gut bacteria in 1905. Of course it was disputed and laughed at for decades and pharmaceuticals did their best to have it considered as crank pseudo-science - as indeed they still do with other invaluable remedies.

The 40 Plants idea sounds wonderful and if I still had fully functioning eyes I'd be avidly reading the reports

I should have gone to the Sallies lunch today but totally forgot to alert the driver I wasn't up to it. He came to collect me. I felt guilty but have no regrets about missing the increasingly awful food.
Besides, my leg is still very swollen and painful - back to the Asian stir-fry at 3am Cherry

Is MrD's funeral being streamed?
Love to you all

I LOVE elderflower fritters!

It takes me back to the days when we had five small children (who really loved them) - served with runny honey
What treats

Jan16, please do a short stretch of the journey if you possibly can - I have found that I had to make myself do it and I found that I could! The resistance was all in my head. Only with practice at it will it feel less stressful. Just do a few miles in the "slow lane" and I think you will feel altogether better!

Thinking of you.

Mamissimo - how lovely to have your bedroom back!
💤

Hello Lobstars,
I've been reading your posts which are all so interesting.
Interspersed with photos of gorgeous little people 💕

I haven't seen my little people for far too long but I get daily updates and photos.
The NZ lot are currently in France.

I've given La Francaişe a day off to explore more of the city. I will also go into Edinburgh to see DHs sister who is visiting from England. It's far longer to come out here to the sticks than for me to go into the city. 🤣😂

Doodle sending hugs and sustaining vibes

No Kaimoana not being streamed, sorry. I’m having a really bad day today. Tears constantly hovering. Going to get the car cleaned this afternoon for something to do.
Nfk I’m so glad you talk to your late husband too. I was beginning to think I was going mad or trying to hold on too much
Sorry can’t write more today x

I managed to take some of DH's clothes to the cancer research shop this week after 3½ years. The lady who took them gave me a hug and we both had a wee cry.

It still hits me but not so often.
Well done for getting through each day.

Thanks Grammaretto. I know everyone feels the loss of this soul mate so much. I the fact that others can carry on does give me hope. Thank you x

Their soul mate not this.

Sending love and cwtches Doodle ♥️ x

Thank you Cherry 💕

Notspaghetti. Thanks. I know I’m being silly as I’m driving locally absolutely fine. Think it’s just the long distance that’s freaking me out but as you say I will be pleased when I’ve done it. Got another 4 weeks yet!
Doodle what can I say except sending love and will be thinking about you tomorrow as I’m sure will everyone else here 💐💐. I can promise that one day the sun will shine again through the dark clouds x

You won't be walking alone tomorrow, Doodle.
We will be there with you, too.
🕯️

I've lit a candle for The Dude and will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow and in the coming days

Bless you all. Thank you so much for being with me.
💕💕

*Thinking of you Doodle*🕯

Today has been a day of tears but mostly smiles and happy memories. Sons and grandchildren read some beautiful tributes and there were lots of photographs showing happier times together. After the funeral, we all sat in the sun by the river he loved so much and drank a toast to him. It was peaceful and relaxing. Now I’m so tired I’m probably going to sleep soon. Take care all x

I'm so pleased all went well today Doodle. It sounds as if it was just the day you both wanted. And that is so important. Sleep well. XX

Your sons and grandchildren reading beautiful tributes, those smiles and happy memories and sitting in the sunshine by the river Mr D loved sounds like the perfect way to honour your soul mate Doodle. Sleep well now 💞 x

It sounds to have been a very loving, caring day....adding soft memories to happier ones.

I hope you had a reasonable night and that support for the coming time of adjustment is always there for you.

As ixion and all of us say, we care and you and dear Ken are in our hearts..

It sounds as though the funeral was just as good as it could be Doodle .

How very nice to hear the tributes for your darling man.

I love that you sat in the sun by the river he loved.

Sending hugs xxx

You may remember I had a story accepted for this anthology.
The editor had bats in the belfry and wanted to change everything and as yet, I have no idea if she did so against my wishes.
She herself has five stories included - everyone else has just one.