Not Locked Down but may need to be locked up

Kaimoana you wouldn’t have been so proud of me today.
I took the car to the garage and sat waiting for it to be serviced. They had the radio on. First up was Tragedy by Steps then To love somebody by the BeeGees by the time they got to It must have been Love I had tears pouring down my cheeks.
Fortunately the lovely lady on reception moved me to a quieter spot and made me a coffee. I improved over time. This is why I don’t listen to music at home.
Went to church to help get things ready for children’s play day and then came home and started crying again for some reason brought on my cutting my toenails which I used to do for DH.
I’m hoping tomorrow is a better day. Sorry to be such a misery.
Kaimoana I always have duct tape at hand. I agree useful for so many purposes.
Poor little Gubbins I bet she misses her dad. Face time can be so helpful
What a long journey your son has. Hope by now he’s safely there
Notspaghetti I hate losing posts. All that effort just to see it disappear. I try to copy mine as I go along so just in case I can paste it back again.
Your burn sounds nasty too.
I burnt my thumb on an oven tray one Christmas and spent the whole day with my thumb in a bucket of ice
Grammaretto ooh please be careful. That could have been nasty.
Glad you managed to keep up on your walk. Wish I could join you it looks lovely
Oh what a frightening experience with your DGD. So pleased all was well in the end but I expect it seemed like forever till she was found

Oh no my dear friend, you don't wriggle out of it that easily!
I think you're brave just for taking the car for servicing on your own when you could have delegated the task.
No wonder you were upset at things which reminded you of your darling. Normal reaction. It also gave that nice lady a chance to look after you - a sweet gift to her.

Not long since, when someone helped me and I felt upset cross to need that help, I was gently advised this was a gift not just for me getting the help but for her being able to give it so willingly and with real care for my welfare.

My goodness, Grammaretto you must have all been frantic and I'm SO glad it turned out well.
I'm afraid it's a recent nightmare about Gubbins, after two tragic incidents here which I inadvertently heard on a friend's car radio.

Ah, there you are NotS, hiding were you? Nice to see you



I'm still planning my korowai (cloak) so no progress to report yet. One interesting thing I read this week was that all the elders, usually women, down the ages who hand-made these cloaks, will have left some of their DNA in the craft.

That means something quite spectacularly deep in Maori terms - mine too.

NotSpaghetti, It's terrifying when they vanish like that! My poor DD.

Your DD sounds a real character! Is she still? And does she still like icecream?

I've just been chatting with the architect for the past hour or 2. We are back to our original idea of selling the big house and building a wee one for me on the site. No developers are interested. I'm rather pleased about that as I would like to think of a family living here.

Kaimoana is right Doodle. You are very brave and you constantly force yourself outside your comfort zone.
We are all proud of you
❤️❤️❤️*

No lost children in the Ixion household, luckily, but DD used to have this somewhat embarrassing habit of toddling off to random groups of children in the park, arms outstretched, shouting children, children, as if starved of peer group company in her life. The arrival of subsequent siblings gave her plenty of opportunity to organise, herd and corral others less pushy forthcoming than her.

Bravo to Doodle on another hurdle overcome🚘 and wise words, as ever, from Kaimoana about seeing an offer of help as a gift from the giver to the receiver, IYSWIM. Had never thought of it in that way before. This is such a lovely thread.

Today has been one of sunshine and showers and jolly chilly to boot. I have sorted out a couple of knitting patterns and ordered some tasteful -to me- wool for winter fireside knitting, despite the fact that I am the world's slowest knitter.
A chunky jumper and - I hesitate to say this🤫 - a bedjacket, old granny that I am☹️. I perused my mother's 1949 book. Knitted swimsuits, gentlemen's ties, silk dresses, ladies' vests and knickers, artfully posed sitting in front of a dressing table, brush in hand, and finally, bed jackets. Bearing in mind how cold many bedrooms must have been in postwar modest houses (as ours), why were they shortsleeved, lacy with just a huge bow to secure the front? In the end, I opted for a nightingale, discovered elsewhere, with a passing nod to Florence who is supposed to have invented them. I shall dutifully follow the instructions but have no idea how to construct it. Think Tangrams, I think, but it should be easy to churn out whist watching the telly.

I see that the tubs of chocs we always have too many of at Christmas are currently on offer with loyalty card at a supermarket near us. I am buying one a week while the offer is on. Sorry, folks, if this is untimely.

Thinking of those with pain and heavy hearts.
This is indeed the place to share.

Kaimoana what a lovely way of looking at things. I’ll remember that in future,
Hope the family are managing without your DS. Have you heard from him since he’s arrived?
Grammaretto thank you. I don’t feel brave I feel like I’m a real misery. Another sad day today. Gave myself a firm talking to. Try better tomorrow.
I think you really like the idea of having a new home in your garden. You keep coming back to that idea. It sounds lovely. Did the architect come up with some good ideas?
Ixion your fireside knitting in the winter sounds cosy. I had a knitted swimming costume when I was a baby. You can imagine what happened when I went in the water.
Good idea about the chocs. Have you checked the sell by dates. Sometimes the supermarkets play tricks with us.
Not nearly as scary as a lost child but I lost my car today. Parked in in a multi story on the 4th floor. Went to church and when I came back it wasn’t there. Actually neither was the 4th floor as we remembered it. My friend and I scoured the car park and luckily she remembered there was a car washing service on the same floor. We enquired of a passer by and were directed downstairs to the lower floor 4.
This is the third time I’ve lost the car in the same car park 😱

I'd heard of FN's invention ixion but with no idea what it was, looked it up. Don't think you could go wrong. Long job to knit though. Ubiquitous garment, isn’t it?

pieceworkmagazine.com/a-traditional-nightingale

I bought white feathers and pinned the korowai/whatu kakahu cloak and am now deciding if I want it this way.

Exciting times Grammaretto I'm glad you've not been rushed into anything by someone wanting to "move in soonest."

Yes Doodle, we've been in fairly regular contact with DS by the excellent Facebook Messenger service.

He messaged from the airport as he checked in and from the lounge, then regularly until landing safely in London. His hotel was good and he was going out to do touristy things.
He's asked me to make a time to have a video call.

Of course he was also doing the same with Dil & mokos.
Now when Gubbins gets up and before bedtime.

He said the parting has hit him far harder than he anticipated, even though he was expecting it to be bad. That made me a bit weepy.

At the elders group I spoke about his leaving and was overwhelmed by the support. One lady said, 'I know the nights are worst so I could sleep over if you like.’
I had planned to sing (as is the custom) a little song about grandchildren but couldn't, so they sang it to me. More weeps.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWn5WsVEzek

I also looked up a Nightingale! Never heard of it called that. I made one for my DM one Christmas. A bed shawl with shoulders. I hope yours turns out well ixion.

I had good speaks yesterday with the architect in the morning and the music man in the afternoon. Both so positive and exciting. Then I told DS who became almost angry he is so sure I am setting myself up for years of misery, poverty and stress. At your age, mum
All my DC think like him. What should I do?

Meanwhile I have my yarn group and beds to prepare for DS3 and DGD who are due this weekend. The washing machine is on already.
I have another Helper coming next week and my Frenchman is in town. He isn't staying here this time. He wants to be in the city near all the action.
The song is really beautiful Kaimoana. No wonder you were emotional.

Dear Doodle. I know that feeling when you lose your car in a multi story. I am so glad you found it!

Grammaretto
Ask your relatives to lay out, in detail jusy why they feel you are setting yourself up for povertty and misery.

If it sounds logical and inevitable, then rethink but do what's best for you and what you want for your future.

Are they worried you'll turn up on their doorsteps asking for sanctuary?

Ixion your toddler made me laugh!
Our oldest child also became an 'organiser'. She has worked as a stage manager (both in rep and on tours) and now organises her three home-schooled boys, her family (!) and a part-time business.

Yes, Grammaretto, that escaping daughter is still adventurous - in different ways. Luckily she doesn't actually go missing these days! She changes direction a lot career wise and challenges herself to go for difficult jobs (admitting in private that this is scary). She has just taken a new job which is to basically fold up a project between now and Christmas. She has worked in research, in young people's services, in outreach, in admin (private and NHS), with asylum seekers, with an ombudsman. All this time she's negotiated one day a week to do what she loves - writing.

I like the idea of building in the garden but think your family might think that looking at your old home could be difficult and painful and that most of your money will go into your new house anyway. The costs of building from scratch seems to be expensive these days - even the materials. My parents built their home with an architect when they were newly married but for financial reasons had to sell up or sell off a chunk of an otherwise big garden at retirement. How my mum wept when the little orchard was cut down for someone else to build in the garden. It was an emotionally draining time but in the end, (once the house was up) it was a positive thing and my parents had a bit more to live on.

Grammaretto I don’t know what to say.
Part of me thinks you should do what makes you happy. If you think you will be happy living in a new home in your garden then that should be the path to follow.
On the other hand no one wants to fall out with their family. Are they concerned your taking on too much? Do they just want to picture you settled in a nice little house somewhere safe and with neighbours around?
Is it the family home? Are they wanting you to stay there and not sell? Such a difficult choice. Could you not explain to them your reasoning. Your excitement I think means this is something you’d really like to do.
Hope your new helper is someone nice and friendly,
Kaimoana that looks beautiful, how clever you are. Of course your son misses everyone. It’s not easy leaving family behind. Let’s hope he gets everything sorted soon and can either come home or bring the family over.
Lovely song.
Notspaghetti your DD sounds an adventurous type. Good at organising and always looking for a new challenge.
Building costs are going up. Having your own build though must be a lovely experience. Everything as you want it.

I had a better day today. Had a go at two new crafts. Went out for lunch with friend and kept myself busy. I’ve had to fight with myself to remain positive today but so far it’s been better, *

Doodle, am glad that today was more-or-less OK.

Thinking of you.

I'm so glad Doodle that you had a better day!
We have good and bad days. It's inevitable.

Thankyou for your thoughts on my house dilemma.

I can't decide if it's sensible or not
Maybe I enjoy the thrill of an exciting sounding project and I gloss over the process and all the hard bits.

Today I managed to see the film DS recommended. It was in the Film Festival and there were no tickets left. I was told I could wait and then suddenly told all 5 of us waiting could go in. Thelma Shoonmaker, who is a world class film editor, had flown from USA to introduce the film she had worked on with her husband Michael Powell in 1943 😂🤣😅!
She is in her 90s.
* I know where I'm going was a favourite of DH and mine. There's some Gaelic, which I can now mostly understand.*

After that I popped into my favourite fabric shop which is having a sale and bought some more cotton for yet another summer dress.

Then I caught the bus home in driving rain and wind.

I sympathise with your dilemma, Grammaretto. I would be very tempted to ask what exactly they would want to see you doing and where you might be, particularly in, say, five years time.
^At your age Mum?^ cuts both ways. Staying put in a large elderly house, with all its concomitant pressures of maintenance, heating, cleaning and gardening might also be deemed as unrealistic in a few years time.
On the other hand, you want the family to stay onside (ghastly phrase) throughout your decision making. No 'well, we did warn you...'.
Would your Music Man live in the property or would he need to apply for a change in use to turn it into a Music School? Would this be readily forthcoming?

Your cape plans look lovely, Kaimoana and I was moved by the kind offer to stay overnight. Does DS have interviews/informal visits lined up or is he doing his own research into potential employers? I do hope everything goes well for him. Poor Gubbins as well will be finding his absence really hard.

Two new hobbies, Doodle? Ooh, go on, give us a clue or my Argy imagination will run riot. I worry that wonder whether one might be a course in baton twirling. You will need to be a hardy soul over the winter months, that's for sure.

Trying to reduce and rationalise the contents of my sewing room before the arrival of the wool for winter projects. Today I have fashioned 5 cat blankets out of leftover fleece and thermal curtain interlining and 2 dog blankets out of knitted squares (2 more tomorrow☹️) giving me a great feeling of smug satisfaction and empty cupboards. Barney's rescue charity will be pleased, I'm sure. It is my eyrie at the top of the house, tucked away at the front and giving me an uninterrupted view left and right of all the comings and goings of the neighbourhood.

Passes the time pleasurably.

Sorry, crossed posts.

I’ve just been reading through your posts the last several days. I’m so sorry I missed your birthday Doodle. Belated birthday greetings. It sounds as if you had good, if emotional, days with friends and family. It’s one of those really big firsts which are hard to bear. Mine is coming up in November and I hope it will be better this year.

And happy belated birthday to you Grammaretto too! I am so pleased to hear that the buckets were empty when you returned from your lovely excursion. Quite a triumph! If The Roof can stand all the rain you must have had lately, it must be actually fixed. Can that be the title for our next thread? “May your buckets stay dry” Would you want your house to be a music school? It would seem strange but could be rather nice.

Covid has been the cause of much angst, Cherry. Some of it insidious and sneaky. I too had been noticing your seizures seem to have been worse. Four big ones in one day is just too much. Do the doctors think there’s a connection? Bet they don’t.

I think avoiding that last meeting with your DS was courageous and right Kaimoana, but what a surprise when they all turned up like that. Wonderful! Is the whole family coming back here? I’ve probably missed you telling that bit. I hope DS’s trip is successful and you can all be together as quickly as possible. Is there the same ban about lupins as there is with agapanthus? One of my memories is of incredibly beautiful river valleys full of lupins. They looked spectacular.

I’ve been AWOL I’m afraid as I’ve been rather busy with grandson and an extra rather delinquent dog (not from the same family), and family visits. Monday, I tripped over in the street – I think there was a tiny stone – and ended up sitting on the pavement with Kira on my lap. Two lovely ladies came to my aid, but apart from a rather large bruise on my hip and a grazed elbow, no harm was done except to my pride. By yesterday, the toothache which had been growing over the weekend, forced me to make a dentist’s appointment. The offending tooth is now gone. And I’m eating soup. It will be well by tomorrow. I have decided.

Notapaghetti thank you. Hope you’ve had a good day today.
Grammaretto pleased you got to see your film and made some fabric purchases. I didn’t know you made your own dresses. I could never manage that.
We need to have something to look forward to in life. Some plan or something to think about. Why shouldn’t you have your home in your garden if that’s what you want. I’d ask them why they are so against it?
ixion nothing so exciting.🤣 one I’ve not seen before. Melting large wax crayons onto a warm iron and making patters with the wax on a special type of paper. The other was gluing pieces of fabric onto things to make pots or pictures. I enjoyed both
i think I’ll leave the baton twirling to you and Cherry but I might make you some frilly skirts for your outfits.
i love the sound of your sewing room and it fabulous view
Nfk how lovely to hear from you and with such an interesting post. So sorry you fell. I’m glad someone came to halo and you’re not badly injured,
Hope there is no pain on that tooth.
Thank you for you birthday greetings. I did have a good day with family and friends. Been very low today. I don’t like feeling like this I wish I could be more positive.
I love the idea of our next title being May your buckets stay dry. Everyone not on the thread would wonder what were up to 🤣

Good evening all/may all your buckets be dry 😁

Don't be hard on yourself Doodle, today hasn't been a good day and you've had trouble staying positive but yesterday you did really well. I make that a 50% success rate or to put it another way half the time you are having better days. Not bad really when, at first, you didn't have any X
Ah, so you've been doing a spot of batik, only on paper not fabric. I used to love doing batik and was thinking about it about a week ago when I was asked to do another piece for my epilepsy support group's quilt. It's a very relaxing activity and far less energetic than baton twirling 😄.

ixion, I'm with Doodle, I think your sewing room sounds lovely and perfectly situated for being nosy. Oh, and Barney's rescue charity will definitely be pleased, you've been very busy.

What a kind lady at your Elders group Kaimoana, what a lovely gift to offer you. Such kindness of them all to sing that song to you too. It makes you realise that there are some really good people in this world x.

Grammaretto, I think there's something telling in what you say, that you gloss over the process and the hard bits. You're really taken with the idea of a build in your garden. Sensible? Not Sensible? I don't know. Whatever you do it has to be right for you. Not much help am I.

Not you too Nfk, sorry to hear about your fall, what a lovely pair of ladies to come to your rescue. I'm sure you're a bit sore but I'm glad you're not too hurt.
I bet you've enjoyed spending time with your DGS, the extra delinquent dog (who I take it is not Kira) which sounds very tiring maybe not so much.
I've lost a couple few teeth in the last few years. Going on my own experience I was fine in a day or two. You shouldn't be living off soup for long 🤞.

May all our buckets stay dry.
I like the sound of that sewing room too ixion.

I also like the sound of your crafting Doodle.

My sewing was going quite well until I dropped my pin box on the floor not deliberately and spent the next 15 minutes using the magnetic clasp on my mobile phone wallet to pick them up agsin.

My false teeth are still missing. A new set are being made but they won't be ready until the end of September. Look after your teeth everyone!

Thanks everyone for your wise words re my possible building. I spent today with a friend who is quite sensible too. She tends towards caution especially now when it's so difficult to get building work done.

We explored the Book festival but didn't go to any events. It's being held in what was the Royal Infirmary with all its memories. There was an exhibition of photos of nurses and people's memories of being either patients or staff there

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202408/medium-405605-lupins2.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202408/medium-15522-lupins-dead.jfif https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202408/medium-174946-lupins.jpg

Everyone is so industious or crafty at the moment.

Funny you should mention lupins Nfk yes they are regarded as a weed to be eradicated and there is a Big Mystery about the lupins of Lake Tekapo.

Every year, tourists flock in their thousands to the spectacular site/sight causing traffic jams.
So a big draw to the area.
Then suddenly, not a lupin to be seen.
It must have taken a fly-over chemical eradication to get them all but no one will admit to doing it.

Local Council; Dept Conservation; Traffic, Enviro - 'not us' they say.
DOC suggested it was an 'Act of God' - I wonder which one?

Hope your non-tooth feels better soon.

Doodle what a splendid idea for the next thread. Perhaps we should re-name ourselves The Bucket List? Or Bucketeers?

I changed my doctor yesterday and once again, the Maori philosophy of kindness showed.
I went to the wrong place, not knowing it had all changed and I should be at the new Med Centre further down and across a very busy main road.
I was immediately offered an escort and, if I wanted, a wheelchair. Accepted to former but too whakamā for the latter.
They have so many free extras, including fortnightly massage, for which they provide transport. In-home visits by nurses; herbal and other natural remedies alongside more conventional stuff.
They also have much longer appointment times (and more doctors) as "patients need to settle before they can open up about what's troubling them."

I go back on Thursday for a 30 minute session with a nurse (probably one of the Filipina lasses for whom I've been knitting slippers and scarves) and then a 30 minute getting-to-know-you chat with a doctor.
Why didn't I change years ago?

Thanks Cherry, the lack of tooth is much better today. As long as I keep my mouth shut and not let the breeze in to annoy the hole.

Grammaretto, Perhaps your family are concerned about the logistics of building and moving into a new build in your own garden? I know someone who did what you plan and converted the shell of a barn at the end of her garden. It's worked very well so far but the building work took nearly a year and it's proving harder now she's not able to drive and the walk to the bus stop is much further. I agree with ixion that your family need to say where they expect you to be in a few years time. Perhaps if it's all priced up and compared with the cost of staying where you are, the practicality of living there, compared with a well designed modern home on one level, it'll be more affordable?

I wish I could sew ixion. I have an old sewing machine, but I don't think I can remember how to thread it. I really ought to try I suppose. I hand sew everything as it's easier than clearing the space to haul the machine out and set it up. I must have a re-arrange.

Doodle, please don't feel you shouldn't get the miseries. That it's a failing to cry into your pillow each night. A friend, a widow herself, pointed out to me how awful it would be, what a waste of our lives, if we didn't feel bereft and lost and amputated. To have loved and been loved as we have been is a blessing and it's good that we mourn and quietly wail inside. And at the same time, because we've had that love, we know that it and he will support us to go on and enjoy the new life we now have.

(I found myself with time to spare today so took us off to the beach for an hour. The strong wind and rain this morning had kept visitors away, but the wind was off the land and the tide out and it was quite warm. It always pays to look at the wind direction and tide times. Paddling soothes my soul and today I was properly happy.)

Your new surgery sounds too good to be true Kaimoana. Something all doctors should aim for. I rather like the sound of a fortnightly massage. Preventative medicine at its best.

Amazing photos of the lupins at Lake Tekapo. Many more I think than when we were there twenty five years ago. They are very invasive. And no tourists (apart from us) there either. I don't blame the mystery person who did a spray fly over. Two birds, one stone. We went for the Lake not the lupins, and were surprised they were there.

There is water in the buckets 🪣 😳
I can hardly bear to see it.
I have contacted the roofer but not heard anything yet.

Let's think about Lupins and the wonderful medical centre instead.
It sounds terrific Kaimoana.

I planted a lupin in the pot at my front door. It was in bud. It was eaten overnight by the pesky deer. So I replaced it with a geranium. Same thing.

I began sewing again when a df, a semi retired sewing teacher, offered to run a class for a few weeks. With my light machine from Lidl and her supervision and patience, I have almost completed a dress. The other 7 ladies are equally thrilled with what they've achieved. We could all sew a bit but lacked confidence.

I shall be picturing you paddling in the sea Nfk to take my mind off the roof.

Oh no, Grammaretto, I just can't believe it. It's a proper Sword of Damocles hanging over you, isn't it? I am so sorry. Talking of the uncertainties of current house building, would not a kit built home tick all the boxes? Made off site to your specifications and brought in ready to go in a handful of days. I have seen a Huf Haus go up in record time with a gang of strapping young men working their tops socks off.

Lupins, glorious. I remember seeing them on a stretch of the District line on my way to school each day. All sorts of colours scrambling up the embankments. I read somewhere that they thrived on the poor quality, gravelly soil along railway lines.
There is a great push everywhere these days - and rightly so - to encourage sowing of wild flower meadows, verges. Newly married and with the excitement of our own garden, I excitedly showed my father, a keen gardener, my purchase.
Took one look at the picture on the packet and harrumphed
^Hmm. Saw you coming then?^😉

Your new medical practice sounds amazing- you are indeed blessed. How easy is it to change and why is there such a vast difference in the range of opportunities for patients? To be met with care and solicitude is everything in this world.

How was your day, Doodle? Thinking of you lots.
Get ready to rattle your Pringles tub tomorrow- afternoon, so back in time for tea.

We used to love the long Bank Holiday weekends when the children were little.
Quality time and all that. Not so sure now that they make a lot of difference to our modus vivendi in retirement. However, I learned from reading elsewhere that they are not always as welcome to those finding themselves alone or sad.

If this is you, 🦞hugs.

😣 Grammaretto, that's not meant to happen! It seemed to be fine for a short while despite it raining too. Mind you. I don't know what it was like last night where you are but it absolutely 🌧 down here last night and the wind was howling where did summer go. I hope the roofer has got back to you by now 🤞
You went back to school to refresh your machine sewing skills then. That's exactly what a friend of mine did when she retired. My machine is up in the loft, not much use to me as I'd need to get a guard for it to make it safe for me to use. I never get round to doing that 🤭. I should. Well done on nearly completing a dress.

Your new medical centre sounds wonderful Kaimoana, just the way things ought to be. It gets a big 👍 from me .
Lupins may be regarded as a weed in New Zealand but from that picture they look stunning around lake Tekapo. Shame they end up exterminated.

Your beach visit sounds lovely Nfk. I don't think I'd want to live far from the coast, that simple pleasure of a sea breeze and salty air. I don't paddle often though -- but I still have a childlike fascination with rock pools--.

Today has been a day of simple pleasures. I'm just going to tidy up in the garden my WP said and I got out my non art. A few minutes later I heard a gurgling moan coming from outside. I got up to to rush outside but before I could my partner dashed inside ... covered in splashes of emulsion paint 🫣. How the heck did that happen? I asked. I needn't have, untidy garage + stored paint + loose lid =bound to happen at some point 🤦. I thought I was the one painting, that's not non art is it 🤣.