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šŸ¦žLockdown friends still togetheršŸ¦ž

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Wed 27-Nov-24 19:25:41

It began as group support during difficult times and although Covid has faded a little, the friendship has endured and become stronger.

Still here for anyone to join a non-judgemental, caring thread during the often challenging time in life.

We don't have all the answers but in the spirit of Doodle and Cherry who began it all, and with a happy lobster as our mascot, we do offer friendship and often a bit of very cheeky chat.

Grammaretto Thu 20-Feb-25 07:02:52

Goodness Kaimoana!! Your skin is reacting to all the sadness and disappointment you have endured.
But you also had very happy times . Perhaps you should remind that skin of yours!
Either way, I hope it stops itching soon

Kaimoana2 Thu 20-Feb-25 04:34:59

I feel so very grateful for my doctor, she is trying everything she can.
I took an overnight bag with me today (yes, it did contain big knickers smile but it was decided hospital/being away from home, might cause more stress.

She took more photos; my back apparently is so covered that you can hardly see any clear skin and oh, boy does it itch when its not being painful.

These photos will go to dermatology experts and when I see Zarah next week there may be a diagnosis.

Obviously all the common things, shingles included, are well known to her, as is psoriasis but neither she nor Dr Francesca who came in to give an opinion, have ever seen a case like this.
So they feel there is another contributing factor - possibly a virus.

You may know stress can cause actute symptoms and 2024 was not an easy year.
Now my darling son is separated from his family and working at the other side of the world.
I haven't seen Gubbins since November and am unlikely to do so.

Nevertheless, I have much to be grateful for but my skin doesn't understand that smile

And to put all this in perspective, across the road, Matua Ray is living with Parkinson's disease which is a truly dreadful, terminal thing.

I just have bad skin.

Thank you all for your concern, it is much appreciated. flowers

ixion Wed 19-Feb-25 21:37:14

Just popping in to send love and very best wishes to you, Kaimoana.
I trust 'they' will solve the riddle and set you up with the tools for recovery.
And don't turn down the opportunity of a hospital bed, if suggested.
Please?

Naughtyneine Wed 19-Feb-25 20:57:16

Good Luck tomorrow Kaimoana...it couldn't be shingles could it? I hope not but whatever it is I hope they get to the bottom of it and make you better....and soon.

NotSpaghetti Wed 19-Feb-25 20:52:16

Doodle
*I have a packet of DH’s favorite chocolate biscuits in the fridge.*

Of course you do... just loving him, quietly, and in ordinary things.
ā¤ļø

I have a Lebkuchenherzen (iced gingerbread heart) that was chosen by my daughter aged about 3, for her Grandpa for Christmas. It came out every year until he died.
It says "I love you" in English and she used to read it to him
Lebkuchen was something that made my mum think of her own childhood and she brought it into mine so it has links to both of my parents
It now lives in a drawer as can't be displayed at Christmas but I look at it whenever I need something from the drawer (matches, small candlesticks, a dip pen, ink etc). It just feels right to keep it a while longer. It hasn't got weevils yet - sadly the salt dough decorations of the same era succumbed this year!

I forgot to say that my son in the Philippines has taken possession of the gift for my daughter-in-law at last! Hooray. Just in time!
He did have to cross town to collect it from somewhere and pay a "tax" - of about £2

Doodle Wed 19-Feb-25 20:31:04

Kaimoana I have a feeling that your grandson when he’s older will look back and remember all the fun times you had together. Teenage years are so strange and misunderstandings can happen. Our grandchildren remember the fun things we used to do. They often talk about it. I hope your grandson misses you too and maybe you can be together again soon.
I’m glad you’re going back to the Doctor tomorrow. I hope they find out what’s caused your problem and can easily find something to make you feel better. Hoping for good news soon.
Grammaretto I don’t think everyone feels the same about keepsakes or family belongings. I have a varied collection. I have always been sentimental. I can easily throw away things with no attachment but will hang on to a handkerchief, my mother’s journals, all sorts. I have a packet of DH’s favorite chocolate biscuits in the fridge. I see them whenever I open the door but I can’t throw them away.
So pleased you were able to pass on some books which others were happy to receive
Been playing with watercolours today. Not successfully but I’m learning.

Grammaretto Wed 19-Feb-25 08:57:47

How are you Kaimoana?

Grammaretto Wed 19-Feb-25 08:56:56

C'est vrai! Kaimoana. I must keep your words in mind.

Before yesterday's book valuer came I gave a few books of his choosing, to my DSiL and an early edition of The Girls of Slender Means which my DM had bought new in 1963.
This went to my friend whose DD played the lead in the play at the Lyceum last year.
Both were very pleased which made me very happy

There's a lot more to go but I do feel slightly more empowered now.

I completely understand your wanting to hold onto the handwriting Doodle
Did I tell you about the piece of linen I found with my DF's handwritten name in one corner?

I used to have one of his diaries but gave it to my DB when he was transcribing the diaries and writing a book about our dad. He did this but when I asked for the diary back he sent photocopies instead!
He just did not understand

Kaimoana2 Wed 19-Feb-25 05:17:11

Dear Doodle you don't need to explain why you kept all DH's papers, I think we all know the answer. smile

I still have Mum's cheque book. In those days they featured pictures of beautiful birds on every slip - but I kept it because her writing was on the stubs. smile

No, I'm not much better but I'll see the doctor at 10am tomorrow and I'll take an overnight bag just in case.

I have various heirloom things in a special box for Gubbins and a Legacy Box for Luka, although now I wonder if he'll be bothered.
I won't be here to see it if he isn't.
I miss him such a lot.

With DGD1, now in her 30's I probably won't leave anything.

I once passed on family things, treasures to me, which were, of course quite old, and a few months later when it was her birthday and I bought her a (new) gift, she said, 'Is this another box of your rubbish?' sad

She's not really as hard-hearted as that makes her sound, in fact we've always been especially close but she has no feel for ancestry or history.
I doubt she's ever been to a museum and she's always peculiarly off-hand about people's feelings.
Very much like her father, my DS1.
It's not deliberately callous, just the way they are made.

Over the years I've learned to accept that people simply don't think as you do, however much you love them.
smile

Merci bien GrandmaFrench J'Ʃcrirai davantage quand je me sentirai mieux. smile

Doodle Tue 18-Feb-25 19:41:45

Kaimoana I can understand why you wanted to get things sorted before going into hospital. I always had a bag packed for Dh because I never knew when he might need to be admitted but even then it still took me ages to collect things like glasses and medication. How have you been today? Is it still as painful? I hope if it gets any worse you will phone the Doc.
Jan I’m fine with getting rid of objects it’s things with sentimental value that I struggle with. I have kept every piece of paper with DH’s writing on and put it in a big file. Don’t ask me why but I couldn’t get rid of it.
Kaimoana I think it’s such a shame the things you have treasured and kept won’t be handed down. What about your other granddaughter would she take anything?
i went to sit fit this morning and had a good workout then to the hairdresser this afternoon so now I’m shorn and aching. 🤣

Kaimoana2 Tue 18-Feb-25 18:49:53

I don't think you are strange at all and it was the prospects of my DS having to sort out my possessions which first prompted me to start sorting through them.
The garage now holds a series of boxes with items of family history inherited through my parents, which my grandchildren may (or may not in the case of DCD1) be interested in. Apart from the usual things, like a box of summer or winter clothing (depending on season) all my other stuff is in use.

And even that's about to go, now there's little to no hope of family get-togethers. Should that change, I'll pick up a few plates from the Hospice shop. Meanwhile, Karen and I will gradually bubble wrap things like my Eternal Beau and take them to that very shop.

I've never been a hoarder but I do value things passed down, such as my Uncle's presentation silver tobacco tin, engraved and presented to him by his city a few days before he went back to the Great War and was killed almost as soon as he deployed.

Jan16 Tue 18-Feb-25 15:30:08

Kaimoana * Goodness me you poor lady. That all sounds dreadful. Really hope you have found some relief and a Dr has waved a magic wand.
Re getting rid of ā€œstuffā€. Think I’m really odd as whilst everyone else is having problems throwing things away I am just the opposite and cheerfully get rid of everything I can! I look around our house and see far too many ornaments, glasses, dinner services - who uses them anymore!* and feel so sorry for our children who when the time comes will have to clear everything out. Unfortunately DH is the opposite and keeps everything including little bits of string, nails, screws, old clothes and shoes he will never wear again just in case they come in handy! Grrrrrrr! I’m never happier than when I have a Charity bag through the door and I can fill it! I know - I’m strange!*

Grammaretto Tue 18-Feb-25 08:40:38

I ditto NotSpag re your condition Kaimoana
Thinking of you and wishing you well.

NotSpaghetti Mon 17-Feb-25 23:37:54

Oh, Kaimoana, so horrible. I am hoping you are OK till Thursday and then it's something straightforward!
šŸ™

Kaimoana2 Mon 17-Feb-25 20:49:00

Our museums would be empty were it not for people who appreciated the history and real value of things which, as NotS wisely says, 'speak to us'.

They are living history and never ā€œuselessā€.
Besides, where's the respect for the feelings of a parent who's eminently capable of making their own decisions about their own property?

Haha! I don't think I'm either stoic or stubborn (not in this instance anyway Grammaretto smile

It simply doesn't make sense to walk out of one's house (which would then be renamed the Marie Celeste) and not come back for what may be days, when a stay of action allows me to warn everyone and cancel up-coming appointments. Sounded sensible rather than stubborn to me.

The doctor surely would know if it were a heat rash?! even I’d know if this were heat bumps grin This is totally different. Besides, isn’t heat a prerequisite for bumps? Our summer went walkabout before Christmas.

I remember calamine, not sure you can even get it now. Kumerahou (pomaderris) it the thing I turn to to and it's never failed to clear my psoriasis yet - but this, says the doctor, is not just psoriasis - hence a wee holiday in hospital to find out what it actually IS.

Nor have I eaten anything unusual over the last week or so. Scrambled eggs, a bit of salad with cottage cheese, water and decaf - all the normal fare.

There’s also the added factor of my back pain, which the doctor cannot rule out as connected.

We’ll solve it eventually.

Doodle Mon 17-Feb-25 19:59:55

Grammaretto I’m glad you had fun with your grandchildren. Pleased things are ok between you and your DD
Oh Kaimoana what is happening to you. I’m so sorry you are going through this . Some allergic reaction to something maybe. I can understand why you couldn’t drop everything and go to hospital but I wish the doctor could see you again before Thursday. Please if it’s any worse go to hospital. It sounds so painful.
Notspaghetti, others can be some much more practical when sorting out things that we can. I’m awful if I have a sentimental attachment to something.
Our Church is lovely. Such nice people. We have a fellowship area at the back of the church big enough to hold 50 or so for lunch but the church itself is not huge. We have beautiful stained glass windows and it is a very inviting place. Others who have come here say how they’ve been made welcome.
To be honest I don’t know what I’d do without church. It means a great deal to me.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. I’m afraid some upsetting news yesterday and knocked me back a lot and I’ve spent a lot of time wishing Dh was here to talk to. It’s made me more conscious of the fact he’s not here and is akin to the feelings I had many months ago.
Nfk I find getting rid of things with sentimental attachment difficult. I also find it difficult to dispose of things I think ā€œmight come in handy at some point.
I really need a good clear out too. Do you think you might move in a couple of years or are you just having a tidy up?
Ixion I’m so sorry you’re not feeling too good. Your comment about Mr I made me laugh
Notspaghetti what a tear jerking tale about your mother’s milk jug
How lovely it’s been kept all these years
Grammaretto I am always fascinated by tales of your house and its contents. Book valuers sounds exciting. I wonder what they’ll find.
I’m still not right today. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I even frightened myself. 🤣. I’m hoping I get to grips with this low mood soon. I have been better recently

Grammaretto Mon 17-Feb-25 18:58:13

3 potters here today helped move things to make it possible for the book valuer to see/get at the books tomorrow.
Records were taken away, though there are many more

I am definitely in the groove

The "girls" suggest a book sale, here in the Spring. I gave them some to take for themselves.

I was also keeping an eye on my poorly friend. *We had lunch together and I drove her home and made sure
she was as OK as possible*

I phoned my solicitor too and am wiser about selling processes

Just as you say NotSpag
Those DC shake you up and help spur the action !!!

Grammaretto Mon 17-Feb-25 18:47:14

Four years on has made a difference
I am able to cope with parting with many things which would have been fiercely guarded before

That rucksack Nfk! I think I have it here! Although my df, the one who stayed here when their house was flooded, took some things away including a camp bed from the same vintage šŸ˜‰

NotSpaghetti Mon 17-Feb-25 15:31:49

NfkDumpling - your dad's rucksack made me weep.
It is a sort of grief for the losing of a time, a place, a person, that has, in reality, already long gone. It makes not a lot of sense but it's still quite visceral. It's the last vestige of a past 'something' and it's so hard to accept. I expect he hadn't actually even looked at that rucksack for years but somehow, when we are faced with it, these object speak to us.

I am just about to bury in the garden a broken shard of mum's first attempt at a thrown pot. It was a dinky little milk jug that actually won a local prize - I was about 10 and was sent to collect it from a neighbour who had kindly brought it home from an exhibition in town.

Unfortunately I had a new basket on my bike and, thinking it was safe there, I put it in the basket, wrapped in newspaper and cycled home carefully... well, in those days our road was "unadopted" - and was really a lane anyway...

There were seven houses on the lane and ours was at the end. You know what happened, yes, outside our house, feeling "home" I suppose, i went a bit wild and it leapt out and smashed.
Dad kept the pieces until he died, intending to get it put together again as a surprise

Then I inherited the pieces in 1992... there is nobody to fix it for but me now.

I'm going to bury a piece of it with Mum's broken trinket dish and a small broken ox which was one of 50 "oxen" of various types, (a postcard, a wooden carving, a stone one, a painting, a book plate, a plastic toy...) jokingly given to my husband by our son-in-law at our oldest daughter's wedding as "bride price".

On its own of no significance but still holding memories so that I think I'd like to "honour" the moment

The handling of "stuff" does resonate with me somehow. I make my little paper weaving "pirns" - sort (of bobbins) from documents of significance to me... It gently eases them out of my life.

ixion Mon 17-Feb-25 13:39:59

Dear Kaimoana, my deepest sympathy for your plight - would calamine lotion help? I used to get huge horsefly bites on my calves (anatomical, not livestock) as a small child: I recall often walking to school in white ankle socks with big splodges of dried lotion at the back.

I am sure you were wise to give yourself 48 hours to sort yourself out, put the house and commitments in order and pack an overnight bag (or two), clean knickers being absolutely top priority in my book.

I have developed one of my all-too-rare colds, can't remember the last time I had one. Last night and this morning, the full works - sneezing, dripping nose, rheumy eyes, sore throat and a voice which would give Eartha Kitt a run for her money.

I have, I announced to Mr.I, cancelled my physio appointment for tomorrow.
Oh, he replied. Why's that?

NfkDumpling Mon 17-Feb-25 13:04:01

I do so hope Kaimoana, that those tender pustules are a violent heat rash and will have subsided by Thursday. It's a long way off when you're suffering so. The only consolation is that there's a good chance you'd have just been kept in for observation so not much better off. There may be more to report by Thursday. If you haven't already, it would be a good idea to take photos of them with a ruler alongside for size. But I suspect you'll have thought of that!.

Re clearing houses for moving - I remember many years ago we helped my parents fill a skip in preparation for their downsizing. DH put a wartime rucksack (stiff and mildewed) into the skip three times and DF sneaked it back out again, with other things, as soon as we left. In the end, under DM's instructions we were bringing stuff home with us to dispose of. Now I'm facing clearing our place - although I've given myself a couple of years - and facing the same angst. I have a skip heap out under the car port which is slowly growing, and black bin bags on the spare bed. So much Stuff! Every time I go to put something back in the drawer or cupboard I remember that rucksack.

NfkDumpling Mon 17-Feb-25 12:44:53

The sun is shining here in Norfolk this morning Doodle so I hope it is for you as well and helps lift you a little. More flowers

NotSpaghetti Mon 17-Feb-25 09:07:30

Doodle you are lucky to have such a friendly church community. I'm sure this is how all church communities should really be. I love that you genuinely "break bread" together on a regular basis and think this must give you all strength.

I hope today is a sunnier day for you.
flowers

NotSpaghetti Mon 17-Feb-25 09:03:14

Things seem to have taken a happier turn Grammaretto with your family visit. It sounds exhausting but positive. So lovely to have small people playing hockey ^in the house
šŸ˜¬šŸ¤”

A push from our more "able" daughters is helpful though... It does mean I make decisions more swiftly - the decisions I'd worry a bit over if they weren't here. "Do you really think you will use this ever again?" s a tough one (as she holds up an obscure object that i inherited from mum and have actually never used)...
One of my other "girls" came the other day and waltzed off with a box and two bags of stuff that I was probably going to send to a charity shop. I said, please just let me have a look what's in it?... "no", she said, "you've put it in here for a reason" and took the whole lot off to Oxfam!

It had been waiting for me to "double check" for a month!

Grammaretto Mon 17-Feb-25 08:31:06

How very horrible for you Kaimoana!

Surely a reaction to something either eaten or exposed to?

I once had hay-fever good and proper with sneezing, hives, headache. *I was on holiday in Kent and in retrospect I think it must have
been a different pollen*. *Noone else
was affected and it never happened
again*

You must be more stoical or more stubborn than is good for you. Could it be caused by heat?

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