holding collar for funeral - Superstition?

Yes in the Welsh valleys, hold your collar until you see a dog. I still do it ?

Ultra-Orthodox Jewish people {Chassidim} take hold of the bereaved's collar and rip a long tear in it "to express pain and sorrow". It is possible that the tradition of holding one's collar comes from this Jewish ritual? We lived amongst these lovely people in Antwerp : it was even depicted in a film whilst we lived there. Apparently Torah law mandates such expression as a part of the mourning process.

Never heard of the collar touching but yes red and white flowers are blood and bandages and should never mix and my Nan wouldn’t have lilac in the house
Yes we drew the curtains when we knew someone had died never heard the mirror thing but nan used to run round covering mirrors if we had a thunderstorm

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It is great to hear about our older funeral rites and how our rituals evolve. really interesting posts!

I lived in Oxford in the late forties and remember this routine very well coupled with the saying `hold your collar never swallow till you see a dog`. We had in the immediate neighbourhood the county crematorium and as a result we were forever stopping and holding our collar which was a bit tiresome but we carried it out ever time. In later life I related this to a more learned person than I am myself and he thought it could date back to the plague with reference to the dog being the dog would attract the fleas away.

In Russia I was told that you should always give an odd number of flowers because an even number would mean a death. So a dozen roses would have to be a seven and a five I suppose!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hearse_Song

This is all I remember singing when I was younger!

Heard about red & white flowers but not lilac!

No red and white flowers together in a vase and no may flowers indoors and my grandmother wouldn't have lilac indoors either.

I grew up in S.Yorkshire, and we also used to say "touch your collar, never swaller" when a funeral went by. There was also a plant in the hedgerows that we called Mother Die, we didn`t dare pick it because the saying was that if you did your mother would die. I found out in later years that it`s proper name is Shepherds Purse.

In my neck of the woods if there was a funeral in the street you closed the curtains, if it was in the house you covered the mirrors, I never knew why.

I believe in France they're called 'piss en lit' the sap does contain a diuretic!
I also remember that superstition about red and white flowers.

I don't remember there being anything about red & white flowers being together being bad luck, but children were forbidden to pick dandelions because it was believed if we did, we'd wee ourselves

Bez when I was a first year student nurse I arranged a patient's red and white flowers [that was when you could bring flowers into a ward - they did cheer up the place] into a vase and put on his beside locker. I never saw ward sister move so fast as she whisked them off into the sluice room. Later she told me that red and white flowers together on a ward would mean a death on the ward.

I wonder to some extent this goes back to different immigration to different parts of UK (like Danelaw and Wessex areas, etc), like language.

Yes touch your collar till you see a dog, but I think it was ambulances not funerals but given the nature of these things there are subtle variations all over the country.

When I was a child growing up in a village in the Swiss mountains, funerals were a bit like cockney ones, with a black horse and wooden hearse. The body was picked up from their home, and the family and other mourners following behind all the way to the cemetary. I can still hear the drum being played at the front of the cortège. As kids we had to stand still by the roadside and bow our heads until the last mourner had passed. Nothing about touching the collar though.

Funny our superstitions are often local, and do not mean anything elsewhere. Our cleaning lady, who was a Geordie, nearly had a heart attack when she saw that I had a vase full of fresh white and purple lilac indoors - she said someone was going to die and I had to take the flowers out - nobody died, fortunately, well not close to us or her

My mother always said never to put red and white flowers together and also she had heard of them not being allowed in hospital - something to do with the colours being like bandages and blood.

In my part of the world you never give a bunch of flowers that's red and white flowers only. The superstition is that it signals a death in the family.

Going off at a tangent, it was only just this week that I heard of the superstition that you should never give anyone ( especially if ill) flowers that are red and white, because they are associated with death. It's quite possible that I have breached this over the past 60 odd years - but as far as I know, they didn't pop off. Have others heard this one ?

Bizarre! How did it come about, I wonder? WHat was the magic in collar- touching?

In my part of N London, the sight of an ambulance prompted the 'never go in one of those' rhyme, but what you touched first I can't remember - 'collar' doesn't ring any bell... 'Touch your knees, touch your toes' sounds OK.

Funerals just prompted a raising of the school cap, I think. Passing the Cenotaph on a bus we were taught to raise our caps - oh, and at the end of a train journey we raised them to the driver and fireman of the engine!

For us it was hold your collar until you see a dog.

In Notts, where I lived as a child, it was 'touch collar when you see an ambulance'.

We stood still, looked down and touched our collar until the funeral cars passed.

We also kept our curtains closed if there was a funeral leaving from our street as a sign of respect.

Funerals were touch your collar 'til you see a four legged animal. Touch your button if it was a ambulance. That's in rural Norfolk.

nanapug thank you. I've googled and there's a fair bit on there - but still, a lot of other real memories coming out here too