A culture of silliness about breastfeeding

It really is what ever you're happy with isn't it sallybee ? No point battling with breastfeeding if the baby is left with a stressed and unhappy mother.

My daughter tried to feed both her two but was miserable, she was in pain, the babies were losing weight, no one was benefiting. Everyone was so much happier when she changed to bottle, and an added plus with her second.....Big sister could feed baby brother, they are lollipop close!

I'd given up on my health visitor before my baby was even born. It turned out that she had no children and when we started asking her what labour would be like she admitted that she had no idea at all! Why did I even listen to her about the breastfeeding? It shows what a shock to the system giving birth can be.

Deedaa, most family centres have a breast feeding champion, but I was surprised to discover many of the champions have never actually breast fed. It's good to know the local breastfeeding group is supporting you daughter in law. We have a great group locally, but isn't it a surprise that the health visitors don't seem to be any more consistent than they were in the 70's when we struggled and were given advice.

Glad your daughter is getting some help Deedaa

I also had my first baby in the 70's when there was very little support for breastfeeding. I managed to get through the agonising bit but then my health visitor (who was particularly useless) kept telling me to top her up with bottles so of course I had given up after three months. With the second one I was home after 48 hours and decided to follow my own instincts - result successful breastfeeding till he got fed up with it once he discovered cups. (typical bloke - go for the quick and easy answer!)
Sadly, things don't seem much better now. My DiL has had very little help with anything in the hospital. Fortunately she has now had a visit from one of the local breastfeeding group who was very helpful, showed her how to hold the baby to keep the weight off her C.section wound and suggested that he may have slight tongue tie which is making feeding difficult for him. Shame this couldn't have been done in the hospital.
janeainsworth my daughter expresses milk during the day at work and always has some in the fridge so that her husband or I can give the baby bottles when she's not there.

Yes, indeed jane! I felt fortunate in being able to do just that.

And another great advantage of bottle feeding is that Grandma and Grandad can do it too!
We flew to the States shortly after the birth of both our DGCs who live there and I was so grateful that DiL not only didn't mind, but was happy for us to give the babies their bottles, especially in the middle of the night!
It was lovely to feel so close to them when they were so very little - a closeness I didn't quite feel with my other DGD who was breastfeed for 5months and really only wanted her mother in the early days.
Of course ffinochio and elegran are right and all that matters is having a happy, healthy baby, and needless to say, now that they are 2,3 and 4 years old, it is all water under the bridge and I feel equally close to them all.

More or less my story with my first two babies. The third time round i made the decision before he were born and had all the paraphernalia ready. No problems, no grizzling baby, no sore nipples, no exhausted semi-hysteria.

Great posts from flower and ffinnochio about the joys and not of breastfeeding. When my first baby was born in the early 70's, I was seen like flower, something of a hippy because I wanted to breastfeed. I followed the advice from health visitors and midwives, and topped up breast milk with formula. Needless to say, breast feeding ended, again on health visitor advice, when the babe was 6 weeks old. By the time my next baby was born, I'd read proper advice and breast feeding was a joy for the baby and for me. I dislike the evangelical approach to most things, including breast feeding. I agree it's best for the baby, but not if it's fraught with the kind of experience ffinnochio had.

I bottle fed both my sons, apart from the first 10 days of my first-born. Those 10 days were utterly painful and miserable. I cried almost every time I fed him from the pain. Inverted nipples. Bloody cracks that didn't heal and watching my son drink blood and milk together did not make for a happy baby nor mum. So bottles and all the paraphernalia were gathered. My baby was happy. I was happy. That was all that mattered.

I have breast fed all of my 5 children. I was determined to breast feed in 1970 even though the trend was bottles. The nurses used to come round every 4 hours with bottles and I would refuse, they seemed to think I was some kind of hippy - the girl I shared a room with wanted to 'chest' feed, couldn't bring herself to say breast. She told me she even said 'chest of lamb ' in the butchers, but very quickly so he thought she had said breast. We both ended up breast feeding.

I fed my first born until he was about 18 months along with my daughter who is 13 months younger than him, so I was feeding while pregnant and feeding two babies for a while. When my third child was born there was another trend glaring at me - the health visitor made me feel guilty for still feeding at 8 months and told me to wean him. This made us both unhappy but I listened to the 'expert'

My fourth baby was breast fed also, when she was about 6 months old my friend who had a new born baby was rushed to hospital with kidney stones. I went to her house to see if her husband was coping with a 2 week old baby. She was lying on a padded stool with a pillow on her chest and a bottle in her mouth. I suggested that I take her home to bottle feed her (she was a breast fed baby) he jumped at the idea. She would not take to the bottle so I asked him to ask his wife if I could breast feed her along with my daughter. She agreed and I fed the little one for 3 days until her mum was well enough to have her by her side in hospital. My daughter contracted meningitus at 8 months and was intolerant to anything and she was still being breast fed. My milk 'dried up' but I started to put her to the breast when she was well enough, after 2 weeks and my milk supply built back up, I fed her until she was almost 2. My last child I fed until he was three and half, he looked me in the eye one night when he was having his night time suckle and said 'its empty mummy no more please' Think that told me! Think it was more for me than him.

At the breast clinic a few months ago they asked on the form if I have breast fed and for how long, I worked it out to 8 and 1/2 years. -goodness.

Sorry for such a long post but there were quite a lot of children to comment on.

I know, but never had the guts to tell anyone!

I found that human milk was brilliant in cocoa and horlicks.

I told whoever was eating whatever I included human milk in. The only comment was "good idea; better than wasting it" which was my view too. It takes a lot of calories to make milk. Why waste food?

Nothing cringe-worthy about using human milk in food for humans! I did too. If you think about it, it's far weirder for humans to drink cow or goat or sheep milk.

Crack? laughing? ouch!

JessM I think she was expecting the 4 hourly feeds we always hear about! It's finding the balance between sore nipples and feeding often enough to encourage the supply. If you can crack that you're laughing.

My first was born at 34wks and didn't have suck reflex so expressed for 8 wks before I dried up. Second born at 36wks didn't want to have any body contact at all (later discovered his joints were so lax they dislocated when held), so fed in bouncy chair by bottle. Third would only drink my milk from me, refused to EVER drink from a bottle and carried on until she was nearly 3yrs old and I had a hysterectomy so dried up.

My second child, a boy was eventually diagnosed as having Autism, as well as Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and was very demanding. Baby sisters breast feeding was about all the attention she got. No one ever said anything, a couple of blokes had a good ganders, but I would never have taken her yo a show etc.

Now I will shock you, I was such a Jersey Cow that I was a supplier for the local SCBU, so always had stocks awaiting collection in the fridge and freezer, and (cringe), I did resort to using my milk for custard making a couple of times (and everyone commented on how lovely it was.....didn't tell them!

Wondering what breastfeeding constantly means. Sounds like the inside track to sore nipples to me. I remember a friend of mine in maternity ward with 2 day old - sore nipples already. They'd showed her how to get the baby latched on but not how to get baby latched off (the finger in the corner of the mouth trick) and she was letting her suck for ages and then pulling her off. I suppose long gone are the days when a qualified midwife actually sat by your bed and helped you get the knack.

Sorry to hear your daughter has been sent home early Deedaa when she obviously needs some help with breastfeeding. This is not good enough. With a rising birthrate the NHS needs to address this problem of the shortage of beds in maternity units just as the educational authorities are doing in building new primary schools.

I feel I was so lucky in being able to stay in hospital for a week after each of my babies was born. During that time I was able to re-gain my strength and got invaluable help from the nursing staff re breastfeeding especially during the night when there was plenty of time to get it right.

My DiL having been sent home early because all the maternity wards between Slough and Basingstoke are apparently full is worrying about breastfeeding as she wasn't expecting the baby to require feeding constantly. My daughter has gone to help but is trying to be very tactful and not turn into a breastfeeding Nazi. It's obviously more difficult for the poor girl because she's recovering form a C section, but in the end, if they can find a way that suits them and the baby is happy, what does it matter?

Aw, Anno, you've just reminded me of by that really special moment when your baby's eyes lock on to yours mid-feed, and a little smile appears, just for you! Made me all nostalgic!

There is no doubt that breast is best - but it does not work for everyone for a variety of reasons.

My first would not suck properly so had to be fed from a spoon! - and thence to the bottle as milk dried up in the meantime. The next two guzzled away merrily at the breast till they were one.

Some people choose not to breast feed for other reasons - personally I would wish to feel that I was doing the absolute best for baby, but each parent has to make their own choice for their lifestyle without others judging them.

I happily breastfed in public - discreetly of course; and my latest 9 month old GD is breastfed and so far I have not glimpsed a nipple! My DD wears suitable clothes and just tucks the wee babe up her jumper. Those who flash their boobs about obviously do so for some other reason - I couldn't care less, but think that it makes sense to consider that others might not feel the same and do it discreetly.

On the subject of noisy children and babies in performances, I have to say this makes me very angry. When I think about all the wonderful concerts we missed as we knew that taking the children would disturb others, it makes me mad when others do not show the same consideration now! There is always the option of getting a babysitter - or just having the grace to miss stuff for those few years when the children are little.

Well said, hummingbird. Some of the happiest moments in my life were breastfeeding a contented infant who sometimes stopped for a moment to smile at me and then resumed enthusiastic feeding.