Overweight Husbands

I have exactly the same problem.
My DH was so skinny when I married him but soon developed a tummy that his father had.
He is a fussy eater only liking meat and potatoes which is also so frustrating.
He is also very stubborn.
Fortunately I love cooking so we have separate meals most nights.
He does not over eat but since having Legionnaires disease he has not had the energy to get out onto the golf course. We go for a walk every day but he does not have the energy to go far.

Oh and movement is wonderful, you just can’t outrun a bad diet. So if movement is possible (no bad hip/ankle/knee/back etc issues) enjoy walks and stretches and weights and live long and strong!

I recommend The Harcombe Diet for Men. Eighty pages, full of wisdom and not at all girly so no risk of auto-reject. Buy the book, leave lying around if that’ll catch his eye or just read it yourself and introduce the new way of eating. By the way, eat less, move more is bad science. Homeostasis won’t let that work. Reading is power! Don’t let anyone “sell” you a solution!

Whiff
Thank you.

I didn't say exercise alone. I said diet and exercise.

Whiff. Yes we are lucky we still have husbands that we love. We want them to last. I’m sorry you lost yours.
Sometimes they need help and encouragement and if we can help we do, even if that includes nagging.
All research shows that exercise alone won’t do it and I read about some research recently came to the conclusion that doing it together helps. ? wonder what it cost to come to that conclusion?

He sounds like an emotional eater to me.
He needs to sort himself out and stop comfort eating.

Ladies be thankful you still have husband's to worry about. I was widowed at 45 my husband was 47. I would give anything to nag him about his weight. I am 62 now. No one can make a person lose weight you have to decide for yourself. I speak from experience. It has taken me 3 years to lose over 7st. I was a size 32 now a 16. Still want to lose a stone. No I wouldn't be slim but want to get to 11st.

What I have learnt lossing weight is a marathon not a sprint. I am happy if I lose quarter pound a week. Now a days it is staying the same but will loss the rest eventually.

If your husband's decide they do want you to help them lose weight diet plus exercise is the best way. If you want ideas of diets that works read the pear thread. I count calories. My brother is online with WW .

Just to add that one of my sons (fit and slim) owed me £1,000 some years ago and I offered to write off the debt if he took his dad in hand, took him to the gym etc.
He said he'd rather just pay me the money back, it would be easier ?

I do a healthy online Tesco food shop and I produce healthy meals.
My husband goes to Morrisons for biscuits, lunches for work and Magnums, and eats after I've gone to bed (crumbs on the worktop!).
He's not a child, I cannot control him.
It annoys me that he has so little self-respect that he thinks it's ok to look like he does.
If I try and discuss it with him he gets defensive and we end up not speaking, so I don't bother any more. It's been going on for years.
His mum isn't happy about his weight either and she tackled him about it but to no avail.
He walks about 14,000 steps a day at work and he walks the dog twice a day so it's not lack of exercise.
It's purely down to portion control, he's just greedy ?

Davidhs fruit is not calorie- or sugar-free and the OP has already mentioned that her DH consumes industrial quantities of it.

Davidhs if you read up thread you will find that the whole point is that the majority of us are not bringing home high calorie snacks and do have full fruit bowls. We are also serving balanced and nutritious meals.

As for 'rationing alcohol' any idea how one does that in a way that is not likely to drive the object of the exercise to drink even more, just to annoy?

I rarely drink at home and not often when out, and I do think that does perhaps limit the amount DH drinks. He is a relaxed evening drinker, not a pub visitor and usually doesn't drink alcohol when we eat out.

But at the end of the day he is a responsible adult and has to make his own decisions.

Please try him with low carb food. My brother (6’) worked away a lot and was heading for 18 stone with all the eating out and 'handy' snacks. He's lost around 5 stones in 2 years by cutting way down on carbs. The first week was hard but after that it was really good. The Diet Doctor website gives a lot of information that may help. Good luck!

I'm fed up trying to get my husband to eat less. He's not grossly overweight but his stomach is growing. Every dinner is finished with a slice of bread to soak up sauce or gravy! I don't buy fatty foods cakes etc, only now and again as a treat.
Hes intelligent enough to know what he's doing. Leave him to it.
You can't make someone eat less. They have to want to.

If you do the shopping don’t bring high calorie snacks home, bring fruit instead let him munch on that, ration his alcohol too. At the end of the day he has got to “want“ to loose weight, it may be that only a major health scare makes him see sense, let’s hope it isn’t too disabling.

He might be eating because he's bored, ExD. You can't make the weight loss happen for him, he has to make the effort himself. You are doing your bit by serving up healthy meals. Piling on extra veg (not extra potatoes though) won't hurt, otherwise it's down to him. Does he have any hobbies? He needs something to take his mind off snacks.

My husband weighs twice as much as I do.

The nurse told me the stress of worrying about him was contributing to my raised cholesterol levels

V3ra You're the opposite of Mr, Jack and Mrs. Spratt then!

Seriously though; before I retired from full-time work we were having annual check-ups courtesy of the Company cardio and he reassured me that cholesterol levels never changed unless you suddenly went over the top and changed to an unhealthy diet. He never had me re-tested after the first was OK. That was 30 years ago and I don't believe I'm "lucky"; more a case of genes!
With all due respect to your nurse, I'd rather leave diagnosis to a doc.
Good Health. .

sparklingsilver where do you see these recipes? I buy Slimming magazine, the magazine of the Slimming World classes. They use ordinary everyday ingredients and their recipes include all kinds of different ethnic foods as well as everyday dishes like casseroles and stews, all well flavoured and very tasty.

A lot of the diet recipes in newspapers are related to strange diets that exclude food groups and try and convince you that courgetti is a satisfactory replacement for spaghetti and cauliflower mashed up is a substitute for rice.

My husband weighs twice as much as I do.
We both go for an annual checkup at the same practice: I have height, weight, BP, bloods etc. done.
According to him he's never been weighed. His weight has never been mentioned nor is it an issue. I think (know?) he's lying.
He's on statins and BP tablets but seems to think that means he can eat what he likes.
I found a multipack of crisps in his car but "they were for the guys at work."
My Mum used to tell me off for "letting him eat so much." We eat out of the same cupboards.
He's bought an automatic car because his knee hurts.
The nurse told me the stress of worrying about him was contributing to my raised cholesterol levels and I should let him get on with it, he's an adult. I told her he's also my future and I'd prefer him to be healthy.
Seriously, what can you do? So many similar stories on here ☹️

When I look at "diet" recipes they look so uninteresting and put me off eating completely. My DD and SIL pile on the veg but they are so tasteless, I find them almost impossible to eat. Food is not just fuel it is meant to be enjoyed otherwise why bother.

beans and spag Bol

Oopsadaisy4 Now what's wrong with that? One of my favourites, second only to chish and fips and the frozen supermarket ones are just as nourishing; no cooking or washing-up! No need for a "pinny" with apron strings either!

Another sign of the times apropos your white frig.!
In days of yore, a marriage certificate was a bride's passport to acquiring a set of whitegoods and although there were probably as many hypocrites then as today, they chose virgin white for their wedding outfits and just as before there are probably as many, if not more, today carrying more than a bridal bouquet down the aisle!

Long live Spag. Bol.!
OoRoo

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He sounds like a real glutton - I don't know how you can bear it!

What does he do? Sounds like boredom eating and similar to when I stopped smoking. Maybe he needs something to to do to keep his mind and hands occupied.

This morning I find an empty fruit bowl - he's eaten 4 bananas as well as the apples and pears

That’s plain greed, ExD. Nothing to do with appetite or hormones or any of the other excuses he might come up with.
If he’s eating 3 or 4 adequate meals a day, there’s no reason to pig out at other times.

How would he react if you showed him this thread?

Its obvious there are a huge number of couples in the same situation. DH eats up the healthy meals, then goes off and indulges in sweet fatty snacks - just because he feels like it. Strangely it makes me feel less of a failure (and I do feel I've failed him when he's so overweight - no let's say it - FAT) because I know what I feed him is healthy.
Last night - Sunday lunch was beef and potatoes, carrot and cabbage with one small Yorkshire pudding (not home made which are nicer) followed by fruit. This morning I find an empty fruit bowl - he's eaten 4 bananas as well as the apples and pears.
Not all that bad - but its the sheer volume. I'd be on the loo all night - but not him.
So I carry on, cooking slimming meals and watching him pig out.