How can I encourage DH to change lifestyle

I agree Jeanie99. My OH eats the things I try to avoid in excess when he’s not eating with me. If I happen to voice my concerns he becomes very defensive, so I say nothing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hear you, that’s a tough situation. My partner was in a similar boat. I found that small, shared activities worked best. We started going for evening walks together, and I’d cook healthier versions of his favorite meals. I also swapped out his usual drinks for tasty mocktails, and he didn’t even mind! It’s all about making it a team effort without making him feel pressured.

You cannot change another human being only yourself.
If they do not want to do something they will not do it.
I know with experience with my husband.
We can only offer support if things go wrong.

I really wouldnt bother as he will drive you mad argueing with him ... let him live his life how he wants , or your blood pressure will be up ...

I suggested my DH went to a well man clinic as he was over eating biscuits etc. He was rather unusually grumpy out of character he took my advice eventually. He was diagnosed diabetes 2 and stopped eating the likes of biscuits and only had a few at the weekend.
I reduced the amount of meat in meals and increased fish and vegetables. Replaced even more meat with lentils mixed beans etc. He cut down on bread dramatically he lost over two stone. He walks a lot now with the dog since retirement before hand it was only at the weekend.
It takes a strong will and mind to change your habits. If my DH can do it anyone can as he is very stubborn. It’s best to make the changes slowly so it’s not so harsh.

Primrose53

V3ra

Sorry Primrose53 that wasn't meant to sound rude.

No problem. Once you do SW you are on it for life. Unless you have an iron will you must never have anything you are partial to but which you know is not good for you.

You can have things you are partial to on SW as nothing is a banned food but it must be limited. Once you have reached target weight you are helped to stay at target by free meetings as long as you are within 4 pounds either way.

V3ra

Sorry Primrose53 that wasn't meant to sound rude.

No problem. Once you do SW you are on it for life. Unless you have an iron will you must never have anything you are partial to but which you know is not good for you.

You can make little changes that won’t hurt too much and hopefully won’t be noticed. My DH is not a fan of vegetables and is diabetic. I make cottage pie / shepherd’s pie (his favourite) and top with half potato and half swede. Reduces his carbs and introduces more veg. I also add loads of diced carrots into the mince. Making small changes to his favourite meals might be a good start.

MerylStreep Some people assume that because my oh does all the food shopping and cooking I do nothing.

Annoying init? I intensely dislike the assumption a sahm does nothing all day, apart from eating biscuits and gaining weight.

My DH has a dodgy heart and has been "pre-diabetic" for some years. At last some of the courses and advice he's been given seem to have rubbed off.
He's not a big drinker but has been drinking less and has nuts now for a healthy snack rather than KitKats, I simply don't buy them any longer.
We still go out for a meal once or twice a week, but try to go at lunchtime and then don't eat much in the evening.
I give him a good breakfast, usually eggs and toast, so he's not ravenous by lunchtime.
His cholestrol levels have usually been better than mine, but his blood sugar has been harder to control, possibly inherited as his father was diabetic.
We've found that brown basmati rice is actually quite nice, far from the lentils and sandal image it has. We rarely eat white bread, usually having a Tesco loaf with oats included. Both of these take longer to digest so release sugars more slowly.
I believe that it's small changes that make the difference in the end, he's pretty resistant to change in some respects so I tread carefully.

mindless assumptions of how relationships work based on who does what in a house is simplistic and ignorant
Ooh, I love that. I might get it printed on a tee shirt.
Some people assume that because my oh does all the food shopping and cooking I do nothing.

Sorry Primrose53 that wasn't meant to sound rude.

Callistemon21

You can try but some people do have naturally high cholesterol. Cook foods which are low in cholesterol, without making a point of it.

A friend's DH ate a very bad diet and she worried about him, but when they went to be tested, his levels were very low indeed and hers were above normal levels.

Yes, an ex colleague who is slim and eats healthily has high cholesterol - it runs in her family.

However, as soon as he started introducing a few things back into his diet (mainly alcohol, pastry items and ice cream) the weight just piled on again and some.

Well, there's a surprise... 🙄

My friend’s son who I mentioned earlier CAN lose weight very easily but puts it all back on again plus more. About 5 years ago he went to Slimming World and lost about 8 stones really quickly. It just fell off him. Some weeks he was losing nearly a stone.

However, as soon as he started introducing a few things back into his diet (mainly alcohol, pastry items and ice cream) the weight just piled on again and some.

Giving advice is not usually the way to get someone else to change their diet/do healthy things. They have to want to do it, even if you buy only healthy stuff you can't stop him having stuff outside the house. What I guess you can do is tell him how worried you are, and hope that moves him. And if you cook cook healthily, if he cooks, ask him to cook healthily for you and hope that at least the meals atnhie are good.
As @4JulySunshine says, sugar and carbs are things to cut down on/cut out. I have done this and my cholesterol has improved even though I've given up low fat stuff. Lots of low fat stuff has sugar in, upping my protein, and cutting carbs has meant that I'm not so hungry so easier to eat leaa

Absolutely, 4thJulySunshine . My Triglycderides skew my readings as they are higher. No amount of cutting fat will help that.
I don't really understand why M0nica's GP would mark her down for Rapeseed oil as it is a good source of Omega 3's and good as an antioxidant. Olive oil is great as long as it is not used at high heat which is why we moved over to Rapeseed Oil.

High cholesterol is not always “bad” - normally there are 4 readings: Triglycerides, LDL, HDL and VLDL. I recently read this book: “The Great Cholesterol Myth” by cardiologist Dr. Stephen Sinatra to gain a greater understanding of my “high” cholesterol. Sugar/alcohol/carbs are generally much more of an issue than cholesterol.

You married him for who he is why change him end of day it’s his body his choice if he knows what could happen to him he has to do it for him not you

Nothing men are stubborn and selfish

I can relate to this, hubby has high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and is very inactive. I have tried nagging, coaxing, educating him, and all to no avail. He cant ( or wont) see the link between high sugar and neuropathy, high cholesterol and rubbish eating. Annoyingly he is the one who is a decent weight. He eats 3 decent meals a day, healthy, well balanced meals that I prepare. But then thinks nothing of coffee and 6 rich tea, or when I have gone to bed at 10 will eat crisps and whatever else he can find. Like other I supply healthy snacks, at a large cost to the budget, so he will eat a healthy snack and biscuits on top of it. He will buy and eat rubbish when out.

I am the one who has always eaten a healthy low fat low sugar diet, or as healthy as I can considering I have a long list of food allergies including raw fruit and veg, and dairy, and a swallowing problem, so I consume on average less than 1500 low calorie low sugar high fibre calories a day and am still obese. Never bothered me when I walked 20000 steps in a shift at work, cycled 100 miles a week and long dog walks every day, but now due to a long term asthma flare up I barely leave the house.

Encourage him to carry on. Make sure he's got a Will in place

My Dad had a heart attack and bypass 30+ years ago.
My Mum was told to use rapeseed oil, that's what was recommended for heart patients at the time.
Maybe olive oil wasn't so readily available back then?

Monica When DH had his heart attack, I had a consultation with a dietician about what we ate, on a score of 12, the family diet scored 10. I lost points because I use rape seed oil rather than olive oil - and I use very little oil anyway - and we do not eat nuts very much.
Monica Did they explain why rapeseed oil scores down? I use that too. I thought it was good!

I agree that you cannot change another adult, only help him change if he wants to.

Those who say you can make healthier meals yourself, are, of course, right, but the problem remains: can you get your DH to eat them if you do?

The only suggestion I feel I can make and I don't think anyone has actually made it, is that you try to ask your husband calmly if he intends to follow the diet his doctor or dietician hasn outlined or not? Tell him, as you have told us, that you worry about him, and that you hate the thought that you might loose him due to this health problem.

He might, just might, change some of his habits if he knows how concerned you are about his health. He certainly won't if he feels you are nagging, or if he feels the food he is "allowed" to eat is uninteresting.