GD terrified of 11+

Surely mock papers are for GCSE level not primary?

I would suggest they forget putting her in for the wretched examination. If she did pass and go to Grammar school she will be under constant pressure and this quite obviously doesn’t suit her. Comprehensive school can be an excellent option. She is undergoing a lot of major life changes and needs to feel secure at the moment.

I enjoyed the 11+ (strange child)
I was more terrified about the exams after the 1st year at High School and even more terrified of our form teacher.

I survived.

Am I missing something but I can't see any mention of the 11+ in the original post.
Yes, you are rool!
It's in the heading: GD terrified of 11+

Is it the actual sitting of the exam that makes the poor girl so terrified or the thought of"failure"?
She will have to take exams at the age of 16 whichever school she attends.

I taught in a Secondary modern school.
I am still in touch with three of the girls I taught .
Two went to University.They all have excellent jobs.
They said that they were pleased that they had not "passed" the 11+ because at the Secondary Modern School they were in the "A " form but in a Grammar School they would have probably been in the bottom stream.
She should take the exam.
If she doesn't ,it may be something she will regret in the future
What if.........?

Can silversurf confirm this is 11 plus, I do wonder because the schools don't usually give out trial papers, in fact they don't help at all. If you want your child to go to a Grammar school you have to do all the work yourself. This includes apparently months of extra paid for tuition which makes the whole thing even more unfair as you need cash, a certain kind of brain and an ability to perform on one particular day in your life.

Its not just Kent - Buckinghamshire, Lincolnshire and one or two others have retained the Grammar School/11+ system. Historically when 11+was largely abolished in the early 70s the education authorities of each county could decide whether to go comprehansive or retain the old grammar/sec mod system. Now the Ed Authorities have very little power and grammar schools are being re-introduced elsewhere by our lovely (?) Conservative government. This has the effect of creaming off the brightest children from the local comprehensives so of course their results go down and they are compared unfavourably. It's ridiculous!.
People who favour tge grammar school system almost always are middle class parents who have bright children they want to be pushed. They dont consider that theif children might fail the 11+!

Sorry,clicked wrong smiley symbol i think.

SATS tests are not so hard/complicated as a grammar school entrance exam,and my youngest sons have never brought home practice papers for these,so it may be grammar or private education the O.P. is on about?there were practice papers sent to us for grammar exam for my daughter&son years ago.

My youngest son (15)doesnt revise hardly as he says he does better when he doesnt,as hes a bit nervous of exams too.but i dont advise not to revise,but if thats how it works for him i guess its right for him!hes a bright kid who seems to go over things once and it sticks,were not all the same though so what works for 1 isnt same for all.maybe your GD is similar and as shes been over it already doesnt want to keep on going over&over it?maybe thats whats stressing her out,if her parents are maybe insisting she 'eats,breathes,sleeps' the test papers maybe??maybe be best to back off a bit&just suggest she does a bit here&there to remember it all.or looks it over nearer the time?Let us know how she does.☺

My parents really wanted me to pass the 11+, (1950) for prestige I suspect. I passed, but my parents then complained about the expensive Grammar school uniform, and all the extras needed. Our family wasn’t well-off, and I always felt like a poor relation at school. No money to spend in the tuck-shop. Second-hand clothes. I found it difficult to make friends, and was painfully shy. Although I did well in my GCEs my parents couldn’t afford to let me stay on to the Sixth form to take A-levels. They also didn’t see the point of girls being educated.
In retrospect, I would have been much better off in the secondary school, under much less pressure. I think that a lot of parents think that there is a ‘snob value’ to their children going to Grammar school. They should put their child’s needs first, especially if it is affecting them badly as this little girl obviously is being affected.

Why does kent seem to have a different schooling system to rest of country??i simply dont understand this.when i was 6 we moved to berkshire and i learned at younger age (religious infant school.then comprehensive school)what they were just starting to learn when i moved back to yorkshire at age 10)id already done it all!But when i was told by my mum thered be an 11+ it turned out there wasnt one,(in the late 70's,so i assumed it must be abolished.yes they do similar in grammar schools.and other schools do S.A.T.tests.(copied from america i think)-so yes the O.P's partners GD will still have tests/exams no matter what,so best to try prepare her regardless,the grammar school test is very complicated&difficult though but if her teachers believe shes bright enough then she can only try.maybe her friends are not as bright so havent been put forward for this?or their parents dont wish them to,for whatever reasons?she cant go through life holding her friends hands though,so sadly its a lesson she must learn now.when friends get to high school theyre not always in same sets/groups/forms anyway so it probably wouldnt make a difference.im sure she'l quickly make new friends.it might be worth mentioning to her parents how anxious she is though,as they may have theyre 'split' problems at front of priorities at moment,and not think of anything else right now.

I can't say how strongly I feel about the 11+. I 'failed' & consequently was split up from my cousin & best friend. Teacher said I should have passed but was too nervous sitting an exam. Course work was a life saver for me. I felt shame too because I was the only child in the family not to go to Grammar school.

It's so wrong for many reasons to have our children feel like failures at such an early age. It still haunts me to this day.

I'm sure the family split is affecting her but heaven forbid that any child (or adult) would have to do something challenging in life! This is why we have such a snowflake generation where so many are offended about everything and can't cope with what life throws at them.

My granddaughter's school calls tests quizzes and, as she knows I go regularly to pub quizzes, she was delighted to tell me she was a quizzer too. I have always told her how much I loved school and that she should always just do her best and that she can't be good at everything. It's attitude that counts.

Perhaps if she saw mum or dad sitting down and doing the paper as well or doing a crossword or similar she might come to see it as an enjoyable experience

Am I missing something but I can't see any mention of the 11+ in the original post. I suggest this is about SATs tests, which children are required to take.
Practise papers are often given to children so that they can become familiar with the presentation and thinking involved in these tests and then there are no surprises when the actual test comes round. On test day the child will be doing something routine and familiar and should be quite relaxed about it.
I would suggest that the parents go and speak to the child's teachers and tell them how stressed she is.
We always told the children not to worry because the tests were just to see how good their teachers were at teaching. I have known some teachers who do worry about the results because they do reflect the teaching/school and as a result put undue pressure on the children . I hope this is not the case here.
Maybe the parents can sit and do the practise tests with the child. Make it a game.

I dont know if its same for every grammar school,but yes the one one in our area was a fee paying school also,and they only had a few places offered for scholarship pupils,which was always massively over applied for taking the exam,my daughter and her younger brother were very lucky to sit this as not everyone who applied got the chance,i think they sifted through applications and chose the brightest children(denoted by previous school tests/reports etc)if not you could pay about £3000 to attend the school.the other 'grammar' which was called 'free grammar' was really one at all,but was a paying school i think.

Not sure its a good idea for a child to go somewhere just because their friends do though,as they never expand their friends circle and wheres good for one may not be for their friend,
I agree with that; however, I do wonder why none of her friends are taking the exam as well?

Kids know more than they think they do!yes when im struggling with anything techy my youngest(15) takes over and shows me what to do,or just does it,which boosts him as he knows he can do this,and though he hates exams,and was worried about his end of year ones he smashed his IT GCSE with B (they do it early,then another exam for another for computer science next year)even though he had missed quite a lot of year 10 through illness,getting almost double what others scored who were in school everyday!he was also put in highest sets for science and other classes,so he knew more than he believed he did.It might be that she has same anxiety of exams,but that will be same if she has no matter which school she attends,as they do end of year ones at every school,no matter wether theyre grammar,or private,or religous,or comprehensive!Its more important for her to know you all love her anyway no matter what,and youre proud of her for even trying,so it lifts the expectation off her shoulders.And the teacher who said its her theyre really testing,is a genious,she sounds such a good teacher,there should be more like her.(Not sure its a good idea for a child to go somewhere just because their friends do though,as they never expand their friends circle and wheres good for one may not be for their friend,?)family is different,as theyre of the same outlook,and parents are attending same parent evenings,meetings etc all in one place at same time,and school knows any family reasons etc if a child isnt doing well at any time.Plus younger child has older one to go to if theres a problem,or they fall ill etc.so they know theyve someone to rely on if need be.

I agree that it may be the attitude of the adults around her that are contributing to stress about the exam.
When I sat the 11+ a lot of classmates were promised bikes, watches, all sorts if they passed, what stress! My Mother had nothing to give [not her fault] and I never expected anything, wasn't stressed and passed it anyway.Just tell her to do her best, which is good enough for anyone.

Are there no other children from her present school taking the exam?

The OP is taking about Sat7 not 11+. Most children have to do this test in year 7 and it is as much about how the school is doing as the child. There is pressure on the teachers to get good results as it reflects on their school and teaching.Many children get upset about it and miss out on a full rounded education as they are trained to do well in the SAT. I called them stats in my other post, sorry.

Most of the posts are not helpful to the OP and it has turned into a discussion about schools and the 11+ rather than the emotion state of the child.

Have you tried asking the child why she is so afraid of this test?
Obviously, she does well at school and presumably likes going to school, so either it is her parents' divorce that is the real problem, or otherwise she has somehow got the impression that bad marks in the 11+ will ruin her entire future. This is not the case and you need to make sure she realises this and believes you when you tell her so.

What does her teacher have to say about the matter?Teachers are used to dealing with exam nerves, ranging from this extreme to butterflies in the tummy.

If she really has to do some of these - make a copy so she is not worried about 'spoiling' the school one and treat it as a puzzle like those you see in the papers. It's what my parents did with me in the '50s (they were both teachers). Puzzles I loved - 'tests' not so much!

Yes,some posters are correct,in our whole area there was only ONE grammer school,and my daughter didnt mind some of it,but hated the awful brown&yellow uniform,and some of older teachers were strict,and she disliked some of the 'posher' kids who paid to go there as they looked down on kids who won the scholarship places as my daughter and her group of friends did,(even though shes quite well- spoken,and a well mannered person)ive brought my children up to love learning,and books,and always valued their education,there was only one catholic high school in our area too, and as we are of that faith,my other children went there,but often other parents sent their kids there as it was "a good school"-which angered me,as they werent of that faith!There still is only one of each of these schools in that area over 20 years later,one other school called itself a grammar school,but actually wasnt one! Now years later id moved to a different county for my two youngest to attend high schools and theres so much more choice,but theyve always attended religous schools and now my elder is at the number 1 college in the country,(not a relious college although there is one of those here too,)and his brother will follow him there when he leaves school next year.

I'm sticking my neck out and bucking the trend here. Life is about confronting things that are not always going to be pleasant and the satisfaction of taking them on and winning is what makes us stronger more resilient individuals.
I'm with LJP1. Let her try with your loving support and keep it light and non judgemental. I'm rubbish at maths (but did go to a grammar school) and when my granddaughter was struggling we had a laugh and a lot of 'oh nanny you are impossible' when she had to explain to me (especially the newer maths). It built her confidence up no end.