Grandson still getting no education

Does the child have an official diagnosis?
Without it, education and other important subjects are hard to tackle - what approach to take

Temas I guess it depends what the family situation is and whether he can be home-schooled.

There are a number of online "schools" available and sometimes local authorities can be persuaded to fund them.

This is actually quite a good time to home school because online resources have been made available as a result of Covid. You can pick and choose the most suitable for you.

BBC Bitesize and GLT Curriculum have both been recommended. He might also be encouraged to become involved in a topic which might interest him, which would indirectly involve literacy and other skills.

And thank you Temas for reading them all and coming back to us! Good luck to your grandson!

trisher

Temas please don't despair or get hung up on getting some sort of diagnosis. Schools are not necessarily the best place for all children. Some children just don't fit. Imagine if you had to go to work every day in a place filled with people you don't particularly like doing something you hated, you'd want to change and you would probably call in sick. Yet children are expected to conform and most do. I agree about home schooling, it might help, particularly if he is allowed to develop and acheive in his maths, but if he sometimes resists remember he's a teenager. I would also look at places of further education locally which offer courses he might enjoy. He's a bit young to go yet but they might take him at 15. His parents should open communications now. If he has some special interest he may be prepared to take that up. I would also look at youth organisations if he could be persuaded to join something for the social contacts. I'd recommend The Woodcraft folk which sounds terribly crafty but actually they have great provisions for children who are a bit different. woodcraft.org.uk
As I say don't despair. I have real experience and education between 12 and 16 isn't essential. A child can achieve, it takes a bit longer and needs them to work hard when they are older, but if you offer them support they can do great things. DS has 2 degrees, BA and MA which prove it.

Thank you everyone for your comments. They were all helpful as I was getting really angry that not much seemed to be happening. I think my daughter and son in law are handling the situation well. I doubt he will return to school and there is an acceptance that trying to get him to school I’d not the best way forward. They are looking at alternatives for next year. At the moment he will only engage in Maths. I did find trisher’s comments reassuring

Temas please don't despair or get hung up on getting some sort of diagnosis. Schools are not necessarily the best place for all children. Some children just don't fit. Imagine if you had to go to work every day in a place filled with people you don't particularly like doing something you hated, you'd want to change and you would probably call in sick. Yet children are expected to conform and most do. I agree about home schooling, it might help, particularly if he is allowed to develop and acheive in his maths, but if he sometimes resists remember he's a teenager. I would also look at places of further education locally which offer courses he might enjoy. He's a bit young to go yet but they might take him at 15. His parents should open communications now. If he has some special interest he may be prepared to take that up. I would also look at youth organisations if he could be persuaded to join something for the social contacts. I'd recommend The Woodcraft folk which sounds terribly crafty but actually they have great provisions for children who are a bit different. woodcraft.org.uk
As I say don't despair. I have real experience and education between 12 and 16 isn't essential. A child can achieve, it takes a bit longer and needs them to work hard when they are older, but if you offer them support they can do great things. DS has 2 degrees, BA and MA which prove it.

He sounds like a good candidate for home schooling. Is this possible? Some kids cannot take going to an institution for education. It's pointless and frustrating to try and change him into the kid that embraces it. That is sending the message that he is the one that is damaged, when in fact if he has psychological issues, it is the system that is letting HIM down.
He may simply be a highly sensitive person (if you google HSP there is much information) and find the continuous noise and stimuli of a school environment too much. Has his Mum and Dad had any issues that he is picking up on? Has he experienced any trauma? Attachment issues? physical illness? Every child/human is different. And without knowing the precise context of your grandsons situation it is nigh on impossible to offer meaningful help. The fact that he engaged with online learning is brilliant, and is a strong indicator that it is not learning stuff that is the issue, but the environment he is in.

A student I knew who had autistic tendencies, was brought to school first day of year 7 by his parents Late. He never set foot in a classroom again and spent his whole school in the SEN room. bumped into his father a few years ago who told us he’s doing fine now !

Has anyone considered actually asking the child just what he does want by way of learning?

A young friend had a very similar experience with her son, from age 7. He was given the supports you mention and had an ongoing referral to CAMHS
His difficulties escalated and she arranged a private assessment with a psychiatrist. Her son is very bright but on the ASD. This diagnosis helped him hugely. He'd alway known he was different, didn't fit in at at school etc but the diagnosis helped him back into education. He's 19 now and training to be a chef. He spent years in his bedroom.
Your daughter knows her boys best I hope she can access more productive support

There is also homelearning which might be intimidating but lots of support and resources available

There are secondary schools that have moved a lot of learning online for the pandemic even while attending by issuing students with a laptop each that they bring every day.

Perhaps a different school would be amenable but they may not if it impacts attendance.

Might be worth looking into though.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I agree with home schooling. If the pressure is off him that he will be returned to school as soon as he is less resistant, then maybe he will be less resistant. An educational psychologist might be a good place for an assessment (of a broad range of potential issues), but how that works and who you see depends on the practices and processes in your local area. School is not right for everyone and many very successful people have flunked out of school. Your grandson can still have a great education without formal schooling.

Are there any schools who specialise in the " nurturing " side of teaching which have fewer pupils in a class ?
Education is so important we all know and a child has to learn if only the basics.

Perhaps there's a particular subject that he could study which would take his mind off how he feels about attending school/ college.

Does he have any friends ?

Thanks to lockdown there are lots and lots of online resources, so it couldn't be a better time to home school.
School is not a great place for children with PDA at the moment, with all of the additional rules and regulations.

There are lots of online courses and tutoring schemes that may be useful.

I wonder what it is that he doesn't like about school ? Is it the building ? The enormity of transitioning from primary to secondary ? Has he always been the same, infants/ primary ?

It sounds like some type of phobia rather than autism. I suppose his parents have questioned him.

Home schooling seems a sensible way forward. There is an association for parents who are home educating, or thinking of so doing. Its web address is : www.educationotherwise.org/starting-out/ This may be worth looking at.

If he is a school refuser, as a teacher, I can't really see the pont of trying to force him to attend. It won't be productive when he IS there.

Have you daughter and SIL considered home schooling? If he knows they won't pressure him at attend school, he may be far more prepared to work at home, if it is made clear to him that is part of the deal.

My niece was a school refuser. I provided her with work in my subject, although couldn't tutor her because they lived over 200 miles from me. She passed 2 GCSEs in my subject.

Sorry, I've just re-read and seen that he has a tutor.
What does your grandson want to do when he is of school leaving age?
Can you motivate him through achieving his own goals?
If he has PDA then he needs to be self motivated.
I hope that you have good support and practical advice from CAMHS, I'm confident that you will.

I'm very surprised that the school aren't providing anything.
My mom used to teach children in similar circumstances to your grandson.
If he is on role I'm sure that it's a legal requirement.
Can you get him a private tutor?
I would say that the priority is that he gets Maths and English GCSEs.
I'm not sure what an Ed Psych could do at this point.
I hope that your grandson gets the education he is entitled to.

It seems that your grandson is getting help from different places. I understand your concerns but really there doesn’t seem to be much more you can do. Just be there for him encourage him and support his parents who will be struggling.
Are there other children in the family? Hope this gets resolved but it’s tough I know.