Wondering whether to move grandson from his school.

MayBeMaw

I feel very sad for this little boy- the same age as my GS who has just started at KES in Birmingham. And yes, KES is an awful lot more demanding than his primary school and yes, he is knackered. But also excited.
But Grandma70’s GS has been judged inadequate for his “high powered” selective school - not by the school, but by his parents who seem to have no faith in his potential and are happy to “settle” for what they perceive to be a school with a less demanding curriculum. What a dreadful situation.
In other words he is being labelled a failure - poor kid.

This is nonsense.

It is also very rude, and miles from the truth. They just want him to be happy and to enjoy school. They are not in the least pushy.

Allowances need to be made for moving from junior to senior school and for the very disruptive time he has for most of Y7.

Give him a chance, especially if he is happy and popular.
Pushy, anxious parents can have the opposite effect to what they hope for and can turn their child into a bundle of nerves.

I feel very sad for this little boy- the same age as my GS who has just started at KES in Birmingham. And yes, KES is an awful lot more demanding than his primary school and yes, he is knackered. But also excited.
But Grandma70’s GS has been judged inadequate for his “high powered” selective school - not by the school, but by his parents who seem to have no faith in his potential and are happy to “settle” for what they perceive to be a school with a less demanding curriculum. What a dreadful situation.
In other words he is being labelled a failure - poor kid.

Grandma70s

SueDonim

I don’t really understand the English system now but surely no matter the type of school a child attends, the school itself should be looking at why a child isn’t thriving? The school must be aware that your GS is not coping well, why aren’t they investigating this?

I think they are. The school has been quite helpful.

Perhaps he should stay where he is then rather than move to a comprehensive school.

However good a comprehensive, they are, in the main, much larger than a private school with far more pupils.

Sadly, whatever school hes at this year, they are all singing from the same songsheet. 2020 has gone, but teachers and the education system are trying to pack two years into one. A whole missed year means the kids have to work harder than ever. It's tough for them, but I know theres My Tutor on the internet. Which he can access, to help him. We only get out of life, what we put in. Oh, and my kid went to a comp. Got 11 GCSEs, at A*.. Never dismiss a comp as non academic.... They may surprise you

Ask him what he wants. There is no alternative.

SueDonim

I don’t really understand the English system now but surely no matter the type of school a child attends, the school itself should be looking at why a child isn’t thriving? The school must be aware that your GS is not coping well, why aren’t they investigating this?

I think they are. The school has been quite helpful.

I don’t really understand the English system now but surely no matter the type of school a child attends, the school itself should be looking at why a child isn’t thriving? The school must be aware that your GS is not coping well, why aren’t they investigating this?

.... I meant from Year 6

Just to reiterate, it is unlikely that a Senior School would make a mistake in their selection procedure, especially if your GS attended the Junior School.
A lot of new children feed in in Year 6, they are not all brilliant, and scholarships are often awarded for reasons other than academic performance. Hopefully the school can find something which he can enjoy and excel at. It sounds to me as though your GS's self confidence has slipped a bit, but without knowing him that could be for several reasons. Does he have a designated tutor/housemaster to contact to discuss?

It’s early days, they’ve not been back to school for a month yet (assuming?) and seniors is harder than juniors. I’d see how he is by Christmas, then, if necessary have the conversation with both school and him. There is a lot to be said for having his friends/peers moving up with him than having to build new relationships as well as settle into a new school routine.

I was just wondering if his parents are in some way disappointed because he isn't a high flyer and is just scraping by at his present school. Do they imagine that he will be more of a success in a comprehensive?

Lucca

I’d leave him there unless he’s unhappy. Not everyone can be high flying academically. Panic not in year 8. If it comes to it and he’s struggling in maths or English maybe consider some extra tuition?
If it’s selective then he must have passed some kind of entrance exam ?

Can I just say that to consider a move to a comprehensive as being less keen on achievement is a bit …um…insulting maybe ?

Glad you said that. My thoughts precisely.

MayBeMaw

^This makes for a more relaxing atmosphere than at a selective school^
No it doesn’t - he will still be expected to meet or surpass targets set on his earlier testing and if what his parents want us for him to blend into a “grey area” of possibly under achieving, or less able children, or less rigorous teaching, I would suggest they and he will regret this in years to come.

Well, my experience of selective and comprehensive education has certainly told me that comprehensive schools are more relaxing. I’m probably out of date, though.

His parents obviously don’t want him to be in a “grey area” of under-achievement. They just want him to be less stressed,

His parents think he might be better at a comprehensive where competition and achievement is less important, but he’s not fond of change

You mean they are considering sending him to a "bog-standard comprehensive"?

If such a school exists in their area.

It was been such a difficult year that he may not have settled in fully yet. Y7 is the year when all changes for them and they are finding their feet, making new friendship groups and facing the challenge of having different teachers for all subjects instead f one primary class teacher.
It all takes a lot of getting used to and they weren't at school for much of that year.

Do they put them into sets in Y9? In which case he will be assessed and placed in sets according to his ability in different subjects.
Perhaps he needs some extra tuition in a subject if he's finding it difficult.

Can his parents find something he is interested in eg a hobby which can expand his horizons?
Sport has been difficult, one of my DGD was chosen in Y7 for the school netball team but this was stopped in Y8 because of Covid and I don't think contact sports have begun again.

If he really hates it at his school then they could consider moving him but I think this may be teething problems that many experience starting at senior school - which Y8 are doing this year in reality, as well as Y7.

This makes for a more relaxing atmosphere than at a selective school
No it doesn’t - he will still be expected to meet or surpass targets set on his earlier testing and if what his parents want us for him to blend into a “grey area” of possibly under achieving, or less able children, or less rigorous teaching, I would suggest they and he will regret this in years to come.

his parents think he might be better at a comprehensive where competition and achievement is less important
How refreshing to see that snobbery is still alive and kicking in the 21st century.

Lucca

I’d leave him there unless he’s unhappy. Not everyone can be high flying academically. Panic not in year 8. If it comes to it and he’s struggling in maths or English maybe consider some extra tuition?
If it’s selective then he must have passed some kind of entrance exam ?

Can I just say that to consider a move to a comprehensive as being less keen on achievement is a bit …um…insulting maybe ?

He was in the junior school, and that makes it easier to get into the seniors. I went through a very similar system myself.

I’ve said my bit about comprehensives. Both my sons went to one. Obviously they aim at high achievement, but since the range of ability is greater a child is less conspicuous if he isn’t super-bright. This makes for a more relaxing atmosphere than at a selective school.

He has friends and is well-liked by both teachers and pupils, but he finds the work very hard, and doesn’t share the enthusiasm for it that his friends have. He doesn’t have any particular talents like music, sport or drama, which many of them do, and I think he’s well aware of that. He is certainly not flourishing there at the moment.

The fact he is well liked by teachers and his peers is a real positive. Could he himself perhaps start a club he is interested in like chess, model making, astronomy? It doesn't have to be curriculum based. The work aspect is something that needs to be discussed with the school. If they taught him in the Junior section they would have known if he couldn't cope with the next step and wouldn't have offered him a place. Personally I would persevere.

Sorry, I have messed that up. I didn’t mean to post twice,

MayBeMaw

^His parents think he might be better at a comprehensive where competition and achievement is less important, but he’s not fond of change^
This sentence just jumped out at me.
Whatever makes them think comprehensives are not competitive or achievement led? Two words - league tables. It sounds very dismissive and I fear they may be founding their decision on a serious misconception.
The child has just started year 8 (which would be the second year of secondary in most schools) , friendship groups will have been formed, classes settling down with their new teachers.
TBH I think it sounds like a very bad idea indeed - not least because you say your GS is not fond of change.
He could be very lonely and unhappy indeed.

Both my son and DIL went to comprehensives, so they do know what they’re taking about, though I think all schools are more competitive now. It’s just that at a comprehensive there is a greater range of abilities, so he wouldn’t feel inadequate as I feel he does now. In the senior school where he is now there are a lot of very brilliant children on scholarships. The
Junior School didn’t have that.

I think I agree that moving him would not be a good idea unless he becomes seriously unhappy. It’s really very difficult.

I had to change high school after the first year as we moved with my Dad's job. I found it hard to join a friendship group as everyone was already established. Though maybe more children do change school these days?

I think a comprehensive would have more knowledge and experience of pupils going on to apprenticeship training courses or vocational courses, which may suit better.

My (selective) school was very A Level/ degree course focussed with not much else to offer. Obviously this was a long time ago though!

I think you’re right, Septimia.

BlueBelle, as I said he has been at the school since he was 7. It has a junior and a senior section. At that age they didn’t know whether he was going to be a high achiever or not. It just seemed to be the best school at the time.

He has friends and is well-liked by both teachers and pupils, but he finds the work very hard, and doesn’t share the enthusiasm for it that his friends have. He doesn’t have any particular talents like music, sport or drama, which many of them do, and I think he’s well aware of that. He is certainly not flourishing there at the moment.

As far as I know the idea of moving schools hasn’t been raised with him, though obviously it would be if it became a more definite possibility. I don’t live anywhere near them, so the finer points probably pass me by.

His parents think he might be better at a comprehensive where competition and achievement is less important, but he’s not fond of change
This sentence just jumped out at me.
Whatever makes them think comprehensives are not competitive or achievement led? Two words - league tables. It sounds very dismissive and I fear they may be founding their decision on a serious misconception.
The child has just started year 8 (which would be the second year of secondary in most schools) , friendship groups will have been formed, classes settling down with their new teachers.
TBH I think it sounds like a very bad idea indeed - not least because you say your GS is not fond of change.
He could be very lonely and unhappy indeed.