Father removes 9 yr old daughter from school over sex ed lessons

“If you want to argue that sex education enables paedophiles you can do it with someone else…”

Umm, that’s what I am doing.

Here’s quite a lot of people on the thread- not just you🙄

Smileless2012

nothing to do with (not so).

Yes sorry Smileless. Got a bit passions with my typing there☹️

Lathyrus

“If you want to argue that sex education enables paedophiles you can do it with someone else…”

Umm, that’s what I am doing.

Here’s quite a lot of people on the thread- not just you🙄

It's just a silly statement anyway.

The right knowledge empowers people, including children.

However, disseminated in the wrong way gives power to the wrong people.

It was my mistake Lathyrus not yours.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

I don't think a lot of you are aware of how many children already know about things like oral sex and all sorts of other things. When I taught Sex Ed to Year 4's 30 years ago in an inner city school, I was quite taken aback about the things they discussed. Whilst I don't think you should be encouraging them to try it, if they are asking the questions, I do think that you shouldn't be shoving the subject under the carpet.
As for Anal Sex and Oral sex, some of the posters sound as if they are saying that it should always be taught as wrong. Whilst they might not float your boat, they are considered normal practises. So, at what point do you start saying that?
It is all very complex and we must get the balance right in explaining that they cannot give consent until they are 16 but also not making it sound like it is a terrible thing to do. I remember some of the normal things like male erections when they were asleep really troubling me. I didn't get the Sex Ed in school. Had I had that, instead of worrying, I would have known that is was all perfectly normal and not thinking I was married to a pervert. It's laughable now but it wasn't at the time!

What age are Year 4's icanhandthemback? It's been so long since ours were school age, I don't understand the year numbers.

I haven't interpreted anyone's posts as saying anal and oral sex is wrong, it's the ages of children being told about this is school that's the issue.

They are nine. I agree that people haven’t said that anything is objectively wrong- just that nine year olds don’t need to know about them.

Icanhandthemback

I'm amazed sometimes at what primary age children say... So much better to educate them in a safe setting than let them believe the school playground gossip

Parents should be able to have a clear and fully informed choice, about what their individual children may be "taught" in such lessons.

Personally, I was troubled for a while after having read 19 84.
For some children, if not a majority, what was "taught" at the op's link school seems far in excess of what was needed for a Year 4 Pupil.

Parents should be forewarned of what might be taught and given options to remove from a lesson.

As is somehow done with Religious Ed.

The reference to anal sex being extreme was on page 3 where TerriBull

Said

“As far as learning about the fairly extreme practices of anal sex and strangulation for example” “Being taught about extreme sexual practices “

Which I didnt take up at the time but felt that anal sex is part of “normal” and something children might bring up (not to bring up with them.

But really at times reading this thread I wonder if there isnt too much caution.

Children brought up on a farm see sexual activity from a very early age and know quite well thats what grow ups do to get children.

Thanks Doodledog.

I agree fancythat, parents have the right to know what their children are being taught and now this particular case has been publicised, more may be asking questions. I know I would be.

No ones suggesting that children aren't better off being educated in a safe environment VS, it's what's being taught to 9 year old's that's the issue.

VioletSky

Callistemon if you don't think there are still young women out there who don't have a full understanding that they are in control over what happens to their bodies.... You are very mistaken

Show me where I said that Violetsky please.

Some Newspapers are not honest about this and not being honest about the ages certain ideas are shared at all... At least from my experience

All parents at our school are happy with lesson content and of course they could make the decision their child is not ready and the school would respect that

Or do we go with one parent who thinks plastering his minor child all over the news and the internet is a good idea as a benchmark?

From my memory we were all horrified when our spinster teacher was trying to impart some knowledge about sex. The more knowledgable amongst my peers were laughing at how she'd probably never had sex in her life.

What I think many are forgetting is how the children actually think about these lessons.

I don't see anything helpful at all in listening to a teacher telling kids about anal sex and masturbation and whatever else. Have we forgotten about how we felt when at school?

Many kids will just snigger and sneer. They are not going to walk out, grateful to their teachers telling them about masturbation etc etc.

Also as has been mentioned, a lot of children know an awful lot already. Older siblings, internet and peers.

My 12 year old grandson was asked about this sex ed classes. He just said, "they're teaching stuff we don't need to know'.

Couldn't have put it better myself

Callistemon21

Age 9?
Really?

No more lying back and thinking of England

I'm truly sorry if that was your experience, Violetsky
And surprised too.

I don't believe you'd been born in the 1960s? I may be wrong of course.
So what went wrong in the years afterwards that everything regressed to Victorian values?

Actually, I don't remember that it did 🤔

Sorry if I've misunderstood but:

The "sorry that happened to you" was unnecessary and provocative. Also none of your business to speculate about quite honestly

There are many women still faking enjoyment in sex. I've spoken to many. They think there is something wrong with them rather than communicating with their partner to ensure their needs are met. It makes me very sad

Especially as the porn industry is not teaching men the right things at all

It seems most are in agreement that children need to be given education on sex in a wholesome and safe environment.

The question is- at what age should certain aspects be taught? And that's very individual isn't it because children develop at different rates.

You know your child, and what they can 'handle' in terms of what goes on in the adult world.

If you feel your 9 year old daughter - or son for that matter - is not yet at that stage of development, imagine a teacher insisting that your child is going to be 'schooled' in anal or oral sex, regardless of whether you think they're ready to 'participate' in that knowledge...

So, of course, parents must have the option of removing their child from the programme at any given point if they feel their offspring is not quite ready to learn about a specific aspect of it.

The sex education has to be at their pace and not the diktat of some over-enthusiastic person / organisation which lays down a blanket 'rule'.

It was not meant to be provocative at all but it's not always easy to know whether statements are personal or generalised.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood and you thought it was provocative

Ok

Parents have always had the right to remove their children from these lessons. It is an everyday occurrence. They do not have to give reasons.

What does women faking enjoyment of sex have to do with the content of sex education for 9 year old's?

VioletSky

If you want to argue that sex education somehow enabled pedophiles Lathyrus you can do it with someone else given you know my history of abuse and that I would never place any child at risk.

If I had received the education on sex and consent that is actually happening in schools now (not the nonsense parroted here), I may have been able to protect myself and been able to get help. I had no idea what was happening until it was far too late for me

I will always advocate for safeguarding children and anyone who wants to twist that into something else doesn't deserve a respectful dialogue from me

You put this post up where you tell us ( in so many words) that something unwanted happened to you sexually.
Then you bite back at a poster who shows sympathy🤷‍♀️
We post information on here and usually get a response.
It’s what kind people do. If you didn’t want a response to that very loaded piece of information, you shouldn’t have written it.

I think healthy enjoyment (by which I mean non abusive) of our bodies is one of life's great gifts and it's never too early to learn age appropriate facts including safety and responsibility.
It's all over social media, magazines, and TV yet some responses seem determined to try to prevent age appropriate learning as if knowledge were "dangerous" rather than empowering.
My parents reacted as if boys were dangerous - without telling me why -no information at school except for odd whispers behind hands which was pretty partial, useless and often mis-informed. No sense it was something that had joy and happiness in it.

You have the comments in the wrong context and wrong order MerylStreep

And the part of the discussion I quoted from gives the context of why I was talking about why it is ok to teach that sex should be enjoyed (as adults of course)