No wonder Charles was so unhappy at school

sad but not only applies to public schools, but they were and probably still are getting away with the abuses. Consider that almost of the men 'at the top' of society have been there, psychology will explain the abhorent present behaviours of some of them. first the abandonement by your parents at a vulnerable age,then to a living hell,very sad.

What possible guarantee of safety can there be for a small child sent away to school? Even if the staff are kindly and watchful they cannot be on guard 24/7 and it only takes one or two nasty people to make a child's life hell. I also fear that paedophilia is more rampant than we realise, we just can't bear the thought. Thus perpetrators get away with it - look at Jimmy Savile

I thought of Prince Charles (as he then was) a few days ago when I was reading a thread by a mum who was asking how she could make her son "more sporty". As someone who was academic rather than sporty I felt sorry for the poor little begger. And it brought to mind the issues raised upthread by other posters of how the late Prince Phillip tried to toughen up his eldest son. No wonder poor Charles had a difficult relationship with his parents! He called it "Colditz in kilts".

I was an army wife. Some of the officers sent their children away at six years old. I remember doing the paperwork for a little girl going from Germany to the Lake District. Her dad was my boss.

Prince Charles, Prince Andrew and Prince Edward attended Gordonstoun themselves, however as at the time it was a boys' school, Princess Anne could not attend. The prestigious Scottish school became co-educational in 1972.11

We 'sent our son away' very reluctantly - we had been sent abroad by my husband's Company and were advised (wrongly) that our son wouldn't be able to get into a decent school when we came back if he hadn't passed the English examination system. He is now at last talking about all the sexual abuse he witnessed - one bullying prefect (now a Government Minister) coming into the young boys dorm each night and choosing someone to 'roger' in front of all the others cowering in their beds. Our son was spared, because we knew this boys' parents.....

Twig14

My eldest grandchild is coming to the Uk to attend boarding school here. I am very concerned having read a lot of comments on Gransnet this morning. He loves sport and is looking forward to attending. I will make sure he contacts me if he encounters any serious problems. I’m not in agreement but I’m not his parent.

If your grandchild loves sport, he should do well. My sports mad husband boarded from the age of seven and thrived. I’m not sure if there is the same emphasis on sport now however.

Our son was offered the same opportunity to board, but declined. I’m happy I had that time with him.

Joseann

Casdon

I don’t think it’s possible to generalise, as with most things in life. My husband boarded at an independent school, and was never bullied or abused. In fact, he loved it. He was a sportsman and a team player all his life as a result.

Mine too!

Mine too.

Callistemon213 - thank you for your message. I will make sure I collect my DGS for exeats.

My state primary school in the early ‘60s was brutal, with random and excessive violence against (especially) boys. I was regularly slapped by my teacher for apparent misdemeanors, but I never could understand what I had done. I remember a boy being locked in the stationery cupboard - I have no idea what for. I saw 8/9 year old boys randomly punched in the stomach and once, thrown against the wall. More than 60 years on, I can still see him hitting the wall and sliding down. It was for messing about in country dancing. Boys were sometimes sent to the headmaster office, I have no idea what happened there, but as adults they have talked about struggling with the trauma. I don’t believe it happens anymore thankfully. My point is that you didn’t have to go away to school to suffer cruelty at the hands of teachers.

Twig14
I know children whose parents live overseas (more than one family) and have sent their children to boarding school here. The grandparents do live in the UK and are, on the whole, fit and able to have them for exeats etc. They love it but the siblings are all at the same school.
The other one chose to come here for VI form.

I'm not sure if you live here but I hope your DGS will settle and be happy.

My eldest grandchild is coming to the Uk to attend boarding school here. I am very concerned having read a lot of comments on Gransnet this morning. He loves sport and is looking forward to attending. I will make sure he contacts me if he encounters any serious problems. I’m not in agreement but I’m not his parent.

Sending children away to board is pithily described by Joy Schaverein, one of the leading psychotherapeutic experts on the subject, as Abandonment, Bereavement, and Captivity.

A child needs love like they need air; how can an institution, or similarly hurting peers, give them that?

One a child is 16 or so, and naturally ready to start separating from a family, then maybe; but beforehand, it's madness. And simply storing up problems for later in life, when the false front a child has to put up to cope with boarding starts to wear thin.

Joseann

Marydoll

Unless there is a good reason for sending a child to boarding school, (e.g, being in the forces) I too can't understand why anyone would have children, then send them away to school.

I agree, Marydoll, but those reasons were many at the school my children attended.
Like, for one example, Both parents BA long haul pilots. Etc.
There are many careers whose jobs take both parents away.

One of DD's friends was a day boarder at a school not far away. At 13 he asked his parents if he could board as he said he was missing out on so much coming home at night and at weekends! He loved it. His parents didn't work overseas but both ran businesses.

Calendargirl

So did Peter and Zara Phillips I think.

They did, but I would imagine it was a very different place by then and mixed.

Marydoll

Unless there is a good reason for sending a child to boarding school, (e.g, being in the forces) I too can't understand why anyone would have children, then send them away to school.

I agree, Marydoll, but those reasons were many at the school my children attended.
Like, for one example, Both parents BA long haul pilots. Etc.
There are many careers whose jobs take both parents away.

The heading and the content of the OP are not necessarily linked and in all probability are not, as RosiesMaw has explained in her informative post.

Our friends' children went to boarding schools as the parents were often stationed overseas and enjoyed it, so much so that my DD was keen to join their daughter at her boarding school. Alas, we couldn't afford the fees (our friends had the fees paid by his firm).
I've since met another friend whose granddaughter was at the same school years later and loved it.

Boarding schools are not necessarily grim places full of predatory staff. However, what suits one child may not suit another.

Gordonstoun was never the right school for King Charles. Prince Philip was trying to mould his son into the person he wanted him to be rather than accept the boy he was. Prince Philip had to wait for his daughter to arrive before he had a tough, no-nonsense, feisty offspring.

Unless there is a good reason for sending a child to boarding school, (e.g, being in the forces) I too can't understand why anyone would have children, then send them away to school.

My friend’s children were sent to boarding school at 7, her DD has never forgiven her.
My friend’s husband was in the forces but they were never posted abroad and only moved twice within the UK so it baffles me as to why they were sent to a school 400 miles from home where they couldn’t even get home at weekends.

This highlights the urgent need for comprehensive reforms in safeguarding measures at educational institutions.
Which we now already have.

Just a few facts- and in no way a defence, but DH was a contemporary of KC at Gordonstoun and while he hated it , it was not because of abuse of any sort, but a harsh physical environment so which he was not emotionally suited, much in the same way as K C
The sexual abuse quoted is largely from the period after they were pupils there+ DH left in 1964/5 and the masters I have read of were later so both he and Charles were perhaps lucky to predate the sexual abuse. There is no doubt it was a harsh physical education and I can see how my late FIL who has been a leading Commando on D Day thought like Prince Philip that it would “toughen” DH up.
Wrong on so many levels as was Prince Philip, but Gordonstoun did have many strengths and a different child might have loved it. Am I not right in thinking Zara Tindall and her brother Peter Phillips were pupils there?

Children at 7 don't have much of a voice do they? I remember telling my parents I was fine.I got the message that anything other than fine was unacceptable.

I'm deeply saddened to hear about the abuse at Gordonstoun. It's heartbreaking that children endured such trauma.
No institution should allow these atrocities. Those responsible must be held accountable and the victims deserve justice, support and healing.
This highlights the urgent need for comprehensive reforms in safeguarding measures at educational institutions.

valdali

At least if you're at comprehensive & hate it, you have some respite. I hated grammar but I had good friends on the local bus home (private school kids funnily), & friends & family at home, & my pony & the farm. If I'd had to live there, no amount of excellent education (& it was good) wouldv'e made up for the misery.

Not all children do though, some have awful home lives. I just don’t think we can say because I’d hate it everybody would - about anything.