The Brainwashing Behind Going No Contact

Thanks gummybears but there was no need, it was what I expected.

IMO posts such as these are evidence that in some cases of estrangement it is the AC and/or their partner that is at fault and not the P they are estranged from.

Ironic isn't it that I should be abused on this thread by a poster who suggests I should be kinder.

I suspect NCwithNarcissists you receive as much enabling from ACONs as you do support; perhaps that's a more appropriate place for you to post.

Reported, that last post is personally abusive to another poster.

If it’s not possible to discuss this issue with any sort of dignity, the thread needs to die. Sorry for backseat modding, but the OP is long since gone and this has become a honeypot.

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Yes gummybears it's a great shame.

You can usually tell the posters who have issues with a parent or p.i.l. Their posts are generally hostile and they have a tendency to shout ie using upper case to try and enforce their own point of view. Clearly illustrated in the post by NCwithNarcissists.

Perhaps NCwithNarcissists if you had attempted to share your experience with more maturity, after all you say you are 55, and less hostility it may have been possible for the posters on this thread to offer you some support.

"Behaving like 6 year old's having a tantrum" is more relevant to your post than any from regular GN's.

@gummybears - Btw, the title of the taped conversation on YT is "Phone Call with Narcissistic Mother," by The Narcissistic Resistance."

@gummybears - As a matter of fact, it has been flagged on YouTube by The Narcissistic Resistance, and the title is "Narcissistic Baby Boomers Realize the Gig is Up." This is one of the many YT channels victims of narcissistic abuse go to for solace (pretty much the same thing you guys do on this forum to receive emotional support). I caution you that there is profanity on his channel--but then again, he IS the victim of malignant narcissistic parents. After that, you might want to listen to the (secretly-taped) phone conversation he had with his mother--it will make your skin crawl. Sorry I couldn't just send you a link; I'm having trouble with my phone right now. Anyway. enjoy!

This thread has obviously been flagged up elsewhere on the internet. I see an increasing number of posters who do not seem to have posted on other threads or subforums making pretty lengthy posts here.

I am not sure this discussion is now anything other than hurtful to some of the regular posters involved.

@nina1959 - It's like they're reading a script or like they all joined the same cult???? Really??? That's hilarious, because that's exactly what we ACONs (Adult Children of Narcissists) say about you guys. For YEARS we couldn't make sense of the crazy-making crap our narcissistic parents put us through on a daily basis. We couldn't understand why they abused us physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, financially, etc., for DECADES before we finally decided that enough was enough! We couldn't understand why they favored one child over another, made one the Golden Child and the other the Scapegoat--and pitted them against each other through Triangulation. We couldn't understand why they were such pathological liars and why they used Gaslighting as a way to confuse us and make us question our reality. We couldn't understand why they turned friends and family against us and why we were constantly on the receiving end of their perpetual WRATH. We couldn't understand why they thrived on Narcissistic Supply and constantly needed to create Drama and dissension in order to feel 'alive.' We couldn't understand why they wanted to contol their children and turn them into codependent adults. We couldn't understand why they constantly behaved like 6-year-olds having a tantrum. We couldn't understand why they lacked empathy and couldn't love and nurture us like we deserved to be. I could turn this comment into a book, but I think by now you get the picture. The truth is that you (and other sadistic parents out there) know very well why your AC went NC with you and your family. So now that you're no longer getting your Narcissistic Supply from the Scapegoat, you've decided to post your ranting here and behave as though YOU'RE the innocent victim and SHE'S the aggressor. Give me a break! Only another scapegoat (like myself) who's been through this HELL with her own sadistic parents and family can truly understand where your daughter is coming from--and I applaud her for her courage. I'm 55 years old and went NC with my entire narcissistic family who treated me like a personal trash bin all of my life. Now that I'm gone, they can all hurl their excrement at each other. This scapegoat has RESIGNED.

Concise YouTube video-response regarding reason for adult children electing to go No Contact titled:
"Narcissistic Parents Fired & Here's Why"
youtu.be/oWoAdcGAXDA

Concise video response in regards to adult children electing to go No Contact.
content://media/external/file/104767

Meant lives not lies!!

I can only speak from my own experience, towards the beginning of the NC bombshell, my DD had done the same to her best friend of over 30years and also her ex SIL who were also treated totally unexpectedly to the NC. Both of these NC's were a few years prior to our's. We were quite shocked but but was her decision and as such we made no comment, when she told us what she had done.. As our NC loomed we were walking on eggshells around her, so it still leaves us bemused.
However as I have said before we are accepting of it and getting on with our lies. That does not mean that DH & I did not suffered unbearably in the early days.

perhaps he portrayed about himself than he intended*Meercat*.

I was going to ask you Fairydoll why you assumed this particular poster was male, then it dawned on me son-of-a-narc. Old age is beginning to get the better of me which is rather scary as I've not yet reached 60.

Wow!

It screams out to me from all of his posts that sonofanarc is clearly attempting to validate his own actions and opinions.

I feel sorry for him and can only suggest that he seeks more therapy for the pain he is feeling.

I very rarely post on estrangement discussions but I have my own "there but for the grace" reasons for reading them.

I do have to say though that the posts from sonofanarc do provide some insights although perhaps not entirely in the way that the posts intended.

IrishRose

”They are aggressive, accusatory, externalised, spiteful and vindictive”
Do you really not see the irony here ”sonofanarc”? All the same vicious emotions that you have portrayed right throughout your impassioned meanderings.

”Because believe me, i am a very observant person and see things other people don't. People like me are highly observant and see things in people's words, hear in people's words etc, the leaks in what people say and what they don't. The omitting of things speak far louder than the words that are spoken”
These pompous utterings really made me smile. And you wonder why no one is prepared to refute your opinions....because opinions are exactly what they are. I’ll tell you why. Because we have learned that there are no winners in this game called estrangement, so we refuse to play. Everyone has their own story and must live with it.....or drown in the pain.

On a lighter note...with your amazing powers perhaps a little tent on Blackpool Pier might be more helpful than trying to teach grannies to suck eggs.

Ooops, that wasn't very articulate of me was itI meant to post 'I am able to', not unable to.

Oh no Sonofanarc I am well educated on this subject. Apart from the amount I've read which, if that's supposed to give credibility to your point of view, is just as relevant to giving credibility to mine, I have personal experience.

Unlike you however, I am unable to articulate my point of view without resorting to insults which IMO is usually done when the person doing the insulting has nothing of real value to disclose, or has simply run out of things to say.

"Trying to assert your own foolish narrative" Oh dear, that really is 'the pot calling the kettle isn't it'. I feel sorry for you, I really do. Your posts are full of anger, bitterness and resentment. It's such a shame that your estrangement with your own mother appears to have tainted your vision.

As IrishRose has pointed out, nina wasn't talking about her daughter. Does seem odd though that if she were, you 'know' so much about her and the relationship she had with her mother.

I for one, don't think for one moment that you're speaking on behalf of anyone other than yourself but I don't understand why you need to pretend otherwise.

gummybears.

In your efforts to annihilate Nina1959 you have completely missed one very important line sonofanarc81

”It was sent to me this morning”. The post you have ripped to shreds was not Nina’s story. It was from a complete stranger.

For the record I am not estranged from either of my sons, nor will I ever be. Why? Because their love and respect for me never falters, regardless of others and their insecurities. I do however have a daughter-in-law who appears to follow your ”psychology based” creed, refusing to allow a relationship with my granddaughter for reasons known only to her.

I too have a degree in psychology, but I always remember that it is NOT an exact science and can NEVER be used as one size fits all to define human beings.

I have read the replies however; Good posts from Smileless and thanks for links Gummybear but I will heed S's words and not go there.

OMG Sono what a load of old clap trap! Zzzz I forced myself to read half of your first posts, my brain was screaming 'no more, please!' , so no more [café]

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No probs Smileless, I try to be useful!!

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