Child arrangement court order

Fortunately no - but years ago i was a family lawyer. TBH whenever you get to the point of asking 'The LAW to sort out relationship problems you are on a hiding to nothing. Plus - if the relationship between the parents has broken down the idea that extended family - even grandparents - can force a situation by using the courts is generally la la land.
The only way - and it takes some special internal strength in very difficult circumstances - is to always be available to help and offer to help the main carer and never appear to take sides. Almost impossible.

Kids can feel shoved from pillar to post as it is with just parents contact arrangements!

It is common for children who have contact arrangements to "act out" at school and at home after court enforced contact.

Its not something I would wish on my GCs. I would wish them stability and security, and if that meant I took a back seat, so be it.

And as another poster said, if there is a divorce etc then it is hard enough for the child to get enough quality time with each parent & half siblings who are their imediate family. In circumstances like that, extended family like GPs who expect PARENT level contact also arent painting themselves in the most positive lights

I've seen this happen to some friends.
They know they wouldn't win in court so haven't tried.
They keep a large box in which they store birthday cards each time there is a birthday, letters written to each grandchild telling them why they don't see them and why, and have arranged in their wills to leave half their estate plus the contents of the box to the GCs.
It's not much consolation and they get upset when other people they know talk about their own GCs.
Maybe they'll contact you when they are adults if they haven't been told a pack of lies about you.
I wish you well.

"Court" ordered

The point that cord ordered contact is not good quality contact from thr childs point of view is valid.

Courts often initially grant contact at contact centres. They try to make them "up beat" but they are not happy places.

Say the kid wants to take up a hobby where coaching is at the weekend

Say the child wants to go for a residential or friends sleep over but the parent risks jail if they say yes.

Say the child is ill or bullied and just wants a low key "chill" weekend

The courts also rightly consider whether grandparents are enjoying costing the childs parents stress and money by initiating the proceedings.

The child isnt a separate entity to the parents. They are their immediate family, their primary carers, and causing them stress and expence affects their child too, they are a family unit, so makes you wonder how much GPs who initiate that awful experience for the family really care about the children.

I have an extremely close relationship with all of my grandchildren particularly my eldest and youngest grandchildren.the eldest lives with me and my son and the youngest is here 80% of the time.i have to say I would fight to the end to see them as I think it would damage them hugely emotionally.sometimes a grandparents love and commitment by far outweighs certain "mothers"...well it certainly does in our case!.

Youve tried 'bulldozing' method unhappy1,maybe next try the gentle approach,or leave a bit to let them think it over.it cant hurt and you might be surprised, the parent may think in your favour if your not harassing them all the time.(you can always copy any letter you send) as 'proof' also maybe just send birthday cards for child if allowable,so they know youre thinking of them but dont want to 'scare them off',but in my opinion,forcing a child to see you just because youre the legal grandparent never goes well

Nannan2 You are now a grandmother yourself - and well done you for having a loving relationship with your grand kids. Can't you see how much your son's grandparents cared for him? Your son. Also your ex's son. Their grandson. Are you quite sure that your resentment of your ex and his parents didn't filter through to your son?

Maybe if they(grandparents) send a letter or some such then they could photocopy it as 'proof' and send recorded delivery or something.

From the age of 5 years a court order was granted that my daughters father had to have no contact with her.

I and her paternal grand parents that she would visit them unaccompanied if they ensured he was not there and did not visit during that time. They turned him away from their door so that contact would be maintained. A very hard thing to do.
She and they enjoyed there times together. Think it’s a case of considering that the child is the main person and all parties being as reasonable as possible, not easy.
I think court action upsets and angers everyone and letting the dust settle and restarting contact with your family in tiny steps may be the way forward.
Saying that I know grandparents who had very limited access and grandchild moved to live with them when he was 16.

When we did live in nxt town to his dad& gps they didnt come visit that often anyway,even when i was with my ex,then for them to make a huge fuss over what theyre being deprived of is a real joke to be honest!

agnurse, all the points you make are relevant. But there is also something else to bear in mind. And that is that some grand parents are prepared to sacrifice time, money and effort to keep alive their relationship with a beloved grandchild. And as far as I am concerned - all power to them.

They may, or they may not though.
Time is of the essence from what I understand, when it comes to the legal side of access.

Depending on the situation, there is no proof to say that she has requested to see her grandchildren, if the parents choose not to mention it.

But unhappy 1 has already showed interest or ' being maintained' as she already went to court,maybe now she should step back a little,and let the parent/parents have some space,they might want to 'sort out arrangements' in their own way/ time without being made to,like i did.

I also saw the Gp side- my eldest son fell out with me over something,and i didnt see his kids for about 4mths- i left it alone,he came around in the end.like i said,it works out better not to push it.

The trouble with letting the dust settle is that it is then seen that the grandparents haven't maintained a relationship with the child, and goes against them being able to have access.

During the week, the child is at school and parent working so there isn't much family time. Usually that takes place on weekends.

Ive been on other side of this and as a parent all it does is 'set' you against the grandparent as youre angry theyve taken you to court in the first place! Which does NOT make for an amicable conclusion all round- it makes a parent very resentful of the fact theyre 'being forced' to do this- i split from my ex husband some years ago now,but it was not amicable,and he also had his parents( mostly his mum) nagging him to see my son,but we had moved out of area,(only just over an hour away),and they all kicked up such a fuss,trying to get court to make us 'return' when of course court couldnt do that,in end it was arranged i had to let my ex (& his family,presumably)see him 4 times a yr- my son was 4 and is now 16- and as pointed out it also eats into his time to see other members of our family who live in that area,(my older kids& my own gc) but ive trailed my son over there as often as i can (my ex mostly lived with his parents) MORE than 4 times a yr- and we had no transport) and now hes 16 he hates going- he is cordial with them,NOT loving,as my own gc are with me- (he wont let them hug or kiss him,for example) its like its a duty on his part,that he has to fulfil,its none of my doing it is how he feels,over the yrs ive been more ok with them,as i never said my son could not see his grandparents in the first place,my problem was with my ex(their son) if they had 'let the dust settle' then i would have probably begun to make arrangements for him to see them in the first place,instead they all built up resentment at being forced into a situation which my son didnt need nor want.Hes never going to just want to 'pop over' to see them off his own bat,and hes an adult in two years in the eyes of the law.Is that the kind of relationship you want with your GC unhappy1? I doubt it.Let the dust settle,then maybe you can try get in touch gently with the parent,ask how they ALL are,if theyd be prepared to let you have a short visit etc.or you never know,they might come around before then& approach you? But no- one likes to feel they 'have to' do this.Incidentally my ex has now recently moved a couple of hundred miles away and i still took him to see his Grandparents last wk, but no one mentioned how his dad 'shouldnt have' moved so faraway !

Surely one day a month with a grandchild can’t be 25% of the time with one parent. 30 days in a month...could only be 25% if that parent only had four days in total over a month....or are my maths dodgy?

We got a guardianship, which I know is quite a different thing but that took two years.

So sad for you. That our sons and daughters can hold their children over us is very sad. And twisted. Both mine had a very hands on relationship with my parents, yet my first grandchild already comes with terms and conditions. I've only seen him twice so far. My heart aches. I'm not a bad person, I wouldn't cause him any harm, it's 'just' that my daughter doesn't like me so is punishing me. Because she can. So so painful. I hope your situation improves x

I think if a child has been used to a grandparent giving them regular day to day care (and the child has been enjoying that time) then the child should have a right to continue that relationship. On the other hand if you're a once-a-month visit for tea and cakes like my on-and-off withheld grandson, then I leave it till the mother feels like talking to me again. So in the end I see him about twice a year to the extent he seems to enjoy seeing me but almost certainly doesn't miss me in between times. I really don't see how anything could be helped by legal intervention. But like I say if you've been a really hands-on grandparent and the child has a bond with you, then they'd probably appreciate having THEIR rights to see YOU protected.

I do know a family where the GPs went to court and were successful. I know no details of how they did it but I do know they had to agree that the child would not see her father while in their care.
Things have now moved on and the child is now living with her maternal grandmother full time but still sees the paternal GPs every fortnight.

Sorry your going through this. I am not estranged and know how much my gc mean to me and I to them. Some parents think of them selves I'm afraid. Unless there is a real problem of the child not being comfortable or safe with grandparents, why deny them this special relationship. Children grow up quickly, I hope they will make their own decisions and decide if they want to get to know them. If my parents had stopped me, I would have tried to find to find them and make up my own mind. You often find this no contact runs in families, it's easier than sorting things out.