Siblings and wider family

My family tree is similar, LostChild- Estrangement wasn't a one-off and done- Its been generations in the making- And it seems the only remedy is continued distance for most but not all- Efforts made to deeply communicate have proved beneficial-

I pulled up stakes and left my home state when I finally understood that the love for my own little family wasn't there despite my efforts to provide safe haven during family ups and downs years prior- I made my share of mistakes while engaging in such endeavors but I cannot be held accountable for not stepping up to the plate and making an effort-

Saying that I wasn't my family's cup of tea is putting it mildly-

All of my family are somewhere between extremely low contact (no communication except under unusual circumstances ie funeral) and no contact until my AC gives them permission to.

With the exception of one sibling, who has occasional contact.

Our family was similar Rosecarmel, periods of years where I was estranged by my mum from family and told awful things about them.. Then expected to suddenly welcome them into my life. Alienated after that by things she told them about me and by her telling me they didn't like me. When I estranged they all estranged me except my brother who refused to accept my pleas for a relationship without talking about her. 2 years of nasty and manipulative phone calls before he cut me off. Then my uncle who would speak kindly to me, but only on the subject of my mum and never asked after me and the children or ignored attempts to ask after his wellbeing. She did her job well.

I remember crying to my counsellir asking if I was really so awful that, they couldn't put up with me to see my children so my children could have those conections. We then went through my family tree and she showed me that there was never any love for my little family. That woman saved me, I went to her broken thinking I must be the worst person ever to be so I unloved and unwanted. She helped me undo years of conditioning akin to Stockholm syndrome.

Also sporadic- Some went years without contact- Currently, my immediate family all interact- Some of the nieces and nephews keep in touch with each other- I also touch base with them from time to time, some more often than others-
There has been plenty of estrangement in my family and plenty of reunions-

When we were estranged by our son the only member of his family that he remained in contact with is his brother.

The contact is sporadic as our DS lives in Aus. and he hasn't been back to the UK for almost 2 years.