*SUPPORT* for all who are living with estrangement

Thank you for your response, it is comforting in a sad way that others are going through the same things. I would not wish this sadness on anyone.
My daughter disappeared from our lives 24 years ago and has not been in contact since. We believe she has children, teens and adult now but do not have any idea of where they live. It could be that they are not in the UK. We have two sons, one has three children. We do not see them as often as we would like but that is down to busy lives and not to any problems with our relationship.
My husband seems as if he can go on living and has " moved on " whereas I am finding life more and more distressing. I have always believed that our daughter would get in touch but now thinking that will not happen. I suppose the chances are that her children think we ( her parents) are dead. Surely they must have asked about grandparents so either they think we are dead or that we are people they are better off without.
Our sons never talk of their sister probably so as not to upset me and iof course they have their own lives. We love and are loved by our family but there will always be a part of me missing unless I can reconnect with my precious daughter. I do not talk to anyone anymore about my feelings because I don't want my sons thinking they are not enough for me.
This pain is tearing me apart and the close relationship I had with my husband has gone.
It is 42 years since my premature twins passed away but that pain is easier to live with than this desperate ache to hug my daughter and have her back in my life. She was my best friend.

Welcome to the support thread Ellj.

I'm so sorry that you're finding your estrangement as painful as ever. 24 years is a long time and I understand why you feel you're running out of time and hope is fading.

If you feel you can, perhaps you could tell us a bit more about yourself. Do you have other children and grand children? Do you live alone?

I know you will find care and support here and I hope that just reading through the thread and knowing that you're not alone can bring you a little comfort.

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Does it ever get easier?
I am afraid I do not believe that time is a healer, I have been estranged from my daughter for over 24 years and it is harder than ever because I am running out of time and hope is fading.
Every moment is torment and I am falling apart.

Oooops my mistake, I had been reading the older posts.

Good morning.
I have just discovered this forum and really hope that some posters are still around. Surprised that there seems to be no recent posts.
I am a grieving mother /grandmother estranged.
Really hoping to chat.

SmilelessGlad Mr S is home. Now on to recovery. I understand what you said about your ES not knowing about the operation. My DM told my son last year about how much pain I was in from my herniated disc and he never called or asked my DM about it. That does only add to our pain.
I guess we have to be thankful that there is another child that cares.
PFThinking of you and wondering how things are going.

So pleased for you both Smileless - onwards and upwards now x

He's home

Oh, I am glad smiles, big hugs to you both. xx

Brilliant news Smileless. Both you and Mr S will be so relieved it is over! Hug to both of you. My hugs are safe as they are virtual!!! xx

That's great news, Smileless. I am pleased to hear that.

Just found out I can pick Mr. S. up later this afternoon.

PF

Thanks everyone for your support.

I'm glad things are looking up for Mr S, smiles - everything crossed he will be back with you and on the mend pronto.

I'm so sorry for How things are going for Mr PF, PF, I'm glad you do have some support and my warmest thoughts are with you all. xx

Thanks Rhinestone. I don't know if he tells his brother anything and I don't ask; I try to avoid conversations with him about the situation.

TBH if he has told him I'd rather he didn't know. A few years ago Mr. S. went into hospital with what we thought might be a heart attack; it was a severe panic attack thank goodness.

DS contacted his brother while Mr. S. was having tests and again when we knew everything was OK. ES never bothered to contact him. He was really hurt and I wouldn't want him to be hurt like that again.

SmilelessI hoping Mr. S comes home aSAP. Your pets must be wondering where daddy has gone. Does your DS ever tell information to your ES? I’m just wondering if he shared the operation with his brother.

PS DS's sent his dad messages; it's hard for him being so far away.

Dear PF I'm so terribly sorry. Knowing what it's been like the past couple of days, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Mr. S. and I have been together 43 years, married 40 this September.

I'm so pleased that your D is there for you and you'll be seeing your DGD's soon. Please give your DH my very best wishes and do talk to us here, whenever you feel the need xx.

Thanks loveOc it will be great to have him home.

So pleased Smileless that Mr S is on the mend and coming home soon. Start planning a nice sunny holiday. Short flight though!! ha ha {smile}

That's wonderful news Smileless. I am so happy for you!

With regard to Mr PF, it's not looking so good I am afraid. We are awaiting further tests but the cancer is advanced and in two places.

The visit to DD1 is going ahead. I think that this latest turn of events has been a big shock to her, as she has been in constant touch, seeking updates. She says that they are both really looking forward to seeing us. DH is determined to visit at all costs as he wants to meet his DGDs. He hasn't said, but I suspect he thinks that it might be his only opportunity.

So, on one level, the estrangement is over but, given a choice, I would far rather go back to the time when we were estranged from DD1 and DH was well - or, at least, we believed him to be well. We have been together for 33 years, he is my love, my everything. We always said that if we had our health and each other, we could cope with anything.

But I don't want to be maudlin. We will take each day as it comes and hopefully there is much joy still to be had, just as there is for you and Mr S. Does DS1 know that he has been poorly?

Just spoken to Mr. S. and he might be coming home tomorrow. Trying not to get too excited just in case.

At times like these "the pang in the heart from estrangement" is at its strongest Rhinestone. Thanks for the "good thoughts and hugs".

Everyone's good wishes have been passed onto Mr. S. and he says 'thank you'.

It was supposed to read pang in the heart not song.

SmilelessSo glad it’s over for you and Mr.S. And I’m so sorry you had to go it alone. The song in the heart from estrangement never goes away especially in times where you need support.
I hope Mr. S is not I too much pain and he can come home to you ASAP. Sending good thoughts and hugs.