*SUPPORT* for all who are living with estrangement

It's not thoughtless if you are estranged. The relationship is over. I'm not really bothered my mum didn't ask after me, more find it odd that she is angry I didn't ask after her while she is not asking after me lol

Smileless2012 your post at 14.14 is sad to read although you and Mr. S. have embraced the situation and have moved your lives happily into a future that has brought happiness and a new way of life to yourselves.

It is thoughtless not to show any concern for EPs and most hurtful not to even enquire when either one of those parents are ill. "The lack of thinking" on the part of the EC is unforgiveable. You are right in saying there are many scenarios where you can think about the EC only that itself
cannot bring peace to the situation as you have not been included in their life and you cannot fit the pieces together and it does become necessary to not even try for the remarkable way you have handled your estrangement you have shown that their is life after estrangement and also a happy future. Take Care.

Good Afternoon All and I do hope you are all well.
I sat outside at the back patio this morning with my cup of tea and it was so relaxing the warmth of the sun was on my face and I felt more cheerful.
No news of the neighbour as yet although Hugshelp: like you say a lady of 105 recovered so that is positive news. In fact I have heard of several older ones recovering and just look at Captain Tom and how well he is managing.

Rhinestone: Yes are schools are closed and have been for about four weeks now and they are not looking to re-open any time soon. Strangely enough there are many programmes on British T.V and many parents are rising to the challenge of having the children at home and seemingly coping well.

I do watch our news and thought the protesting in the states was getting really angry, with so many shouting and carrying banners and demanding for lockdowns to end and businesses to open up. I though how different the States are dealing with the pandemic to other countries as places like
Madrid ,Spain and now even Russia have got lockdowns like us in the U.K. I am not sure how
government works in the States but your President just keeps saying it is all under control.
Estrangement can feel even harder in circumstances we are in now although on some of Gransnet threads some say they have been told No Contact so they keep to that.
Take Care.

Hi Rhinestone good to see your post. It must be very unsettling for you with the demonstrations on top of everything else.

By estranging us in the first place aren't they saying they never want to see us again?

Mr. S. had hospital treatment 6 years ago for a suspected heart attack and our ES never bothered to get in touch. He's had health problems for a few years and had major surgery just 2 months ago.

There's a good chance he's known about that from his brother but again, has never enquired after his father's health. I don't understand his "thinking or lack of it" and TBH spend less and less time as the years pass dwelling on it.

There are many questions to which we'll more than likely never have the answers too; maybe our EC's apparent lack of concern about our welfare during this pandemic is another one.

As we often say here, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. They may think we're not worried about them if we haven't been in touch, without considering that we're protecting ourselves from being hurt if we're ignored, or we're worried about receiving an abusive response.

That could be why an EC doesn't contact his/her parent(s). Having refused to have anything to do with them, and where they've also denied their children their GP's, they may do nothing for the same reasons we don't.

That's the worse thing about estrangement I think Rhinestone, we simply don't know so try to fill in the missing pieces and I can't help but think we'd be better off not doing so.

Being estranged from my mum doesnt mean I don't care or wish harm or don't worry about them. Just means my life is happier and more stable without her in it. We still have our own worries and problems. I've had a letter asking how i would feel if she died. Didn't ask after me or the children or anything if we got sick. Didn't notice that until just now. Relationships are 2 way and people have individual standards and needs, both parties have to work at it to make things better and if one party won't then the relationship is gone. So maybe my mum thinks I don't care but then again, she didn't show any care for us in that letter. Shame really.

Morning all from across the pond. Hope you all are doing okay. Are your schools closed too? What a nightmare for parents.
So many protesting in the states because they are angry that this has gone on too long. They carried guns and horrible Nazi
signs. I don’t know what that had to do with the virus except they were carrying banners for our presidents re election. It’s just awful.
I can’t help but wonder why would our EC
wouldn’t be worried about us getting sick and dying and never seeing us again. I just cannot,after five years with my stepchild and two with my son, understand their thinking or lack of it. At least I’m not crying as much anymore. Some progress.
Is anyone else thinking like this?

Wow that's amazing hugshelp, you can't get more positive than that can you.

Thanks for the pasta tips agnurse - I do have a selection of gluten free and grain free pastas luckily. It was just the tinned stuff on toast made me all nostalgic lol. Yes a lot of panic buyers did clear out the gf pasta starblaze - I think people who normally buy the normal stuff tried it too when they couldn't get any - I think the normal stuff is back in stock so hoepfully the gf will be too soon. I happened to be lucky with dried pasta as a local supermarket was selling some stock off cheap just before all this started so I stocked up a bit just because it was a bargain. Now if I could just get some passata, but that's another story lol.

Oh goodness, smiles, it's awful to see the elderly struggling. We see some very old people wheeling their walkers slowly to the local shop and I so feel for them. There was someone collapsed on the pavement across from us recently, though they didn't look old, but someone had stopped to help already to we didn't go over, no point breaking the social distance things when things seemed to be in hand.

Oh goodnesss 3nanny6 that really is scary and does bring it home. I have heard of quite a few cases not far away now. I do hope your neighbour is ok. But on a positive note a lady in the nearest city has just recovered aged 105 and is now back at her care home locally.

Take care friends, thinking of you all. x

It must have been scary and upsetting 3nanny. I'm glad you're OK and have been able to talk to your eldest D about it.

Take carex

Smileless2012 : It was a scary thing to see and I felt saddened for the rest of the household members as they were all outside standing on the grass, I expect the paramedics wanted them all outside. I am feeling better today and my eldest daughter has been on the phone for about an hour so I told her I am going out for a short walk with the dog.

The house where they live has been quiet today with only their cars parked outside. I know a few other people along the road and at some point someone will know if he is okay.
I do hope it will be hopeful news about him. It has to be the Covid19 as I have never known him to be in hospital or be ill
and mostly I see him with his wife and sometimes the little grand-daughter getting shopping.

Stay safe all take care.

Really awful. So much heartbreak. None of us are going to come out of this the same

Oh 3nanny how awful, are you sure you're OK? I hope you'll be able to find out at some point how he is.

Good Afternoon ladies hope you are all well.
Smleless2012 it is difficult when someone takes a slip to their knees I hope she was okay. It is even harder if they cannot get up so she was lucky Mr. S. was there to help. She is probably feeling the effects of it today and that is just another worry with all that is going on.

I had an hour or two of frightening feelings yesterday afternoon as a neighbour from over the back of my house was taken away in the ambulance. I could see everything from my bedroom window and maybe it is nosy but I did watch. It felt to me that the virus is more real now I have seen the action of paramedics and the lengths they go to in that situation. In fact there were three ambulances and so many paramedics running in with equipment and bags. It is a multi occupied home (family unit with AC that live there)
so the man must have taken bad very quickly, and when he was finally wheeled out I could see tubes attached to him.

When he had been taken away I was shaky and upset and luckily my daughter had phoned me at that exact time and she told me to get a cup of tea and she would phone me back which she did.

Today I am over it but have not seen anyone from the house as yet I do hope the man is okay.

Morning ladies, yes thank you hugselp the shopping went well. A very small queue to get in and with a lot fewer in the store, so quicker to get round.

They have signs up asking people to pack their shopping at their car rather than in store which is a good idea so that's what Mr. S. and I do.

I love spaghetti on toast, as you say it's often the simple things that bring comfort.

Even a small amount of exercise is good for you so well done. You might be surprised at how much you'll be able to build that up.

It is nice to see people we know when walking our dogs isn't it 3nanny and be able to have a chat, all be it at a distance.
Mr. S. saw an elderly lady from our church this morning walking her dog and she fell down onto her knees .

She couldn't get up so he had to go and help her. It was a good job he was there otherwise she'd have been stranded. We've offered to walk her dog for her but she's very stubborn. There must be a way of doing so while respecting social distancing. I'll 'phone her later to make sure she's OK and see if she wants one of us to take her dog out this afternoon.

She'll probably decline our offer again but all you can do is offer.

Starblaze

Sadly, I've never seen tinned gluten-free pasta either. I have seen it sold as dry pasta or, in the case of NuPasta, it comes precooked but you have to drain it, rinse it, add your sauce, and heat. (NuPasta is made from konjac, a Japanese root. It comes in vacuum-sealed packages that are shelf stable.)

I spent a lot of time ill when panic buyers cleared the gluten free and I ran out of other options. I've never seen gluten free tinned spaghetti, I miss ravioli

hugshelp

Obviously it is not tinned, but you might be able to find gluten-free pasta in the supermarket or online. Usually it's made from rice or corn.

I have gone to a keto/Paleo diet, so what I have tried is NuPasta. I don't know if this is available in the UK. It's made from konjac, a Japanese root. A whole serving only has 25 calories, all from fibre. The taste is similar to regular pasta, but it is a little crunchy. It comes already cooked in a vacuum-sealed package; you just have to drain it, rinse it, add your sauce, and heat it up.

Evening ladies. Hope the shopping went well smiles.
Ooh I miss tinned spaghetti since I became gluten intolerant 3nanny6 - sometimes the simple things are very comforting.
I'm feeling quite tired. Seem to spend so much time cleaning lately. I'm not fit enough for much in the way of exercise but I've dug out our old vinyl 45s and have been doing some simple movements to one at a time - 3 minute bursts are about my limit but I am enjoying that, short and sweet though it is.

Good Afternoon ladies. I am a bit tired today probably all the talking I done yesterday evening on the dog walk. (All at the social distancing) I met three different people and caught up on how they have been managing over the last few weeks.
By the time I got back it was too late to cook the dinner I wanted so I just opened a tin of spaghetti and had it on toast, but I did enjoy it.
I see from the T.V that Captain Tom is still walking.

Morning ladies. Just getting ready to head out for our weekly shop; I'll be relieved when we're back home again and job done for another weel.

Hope you're all OK x

I was thinking of Captain Tom when we did the 8.00 pm clap; so many unsung heroes.

yes indeed, Captain Tom is great, and I think it's up to 15million now.

He is great isn't he ...and was aiming to raise £1000 ..its in millions now I believe!

Oh yes he's very much into that too 3nannygoes to the gym 5 times a week. He's a very handsome man, even if I do say so myself.

You are right Smileless2012 Captain Tom is amazing and he topped up a huge amount of money for the charities.
They showed a photograph of him when he was in the services for the war, what a handsome man he was way back then.

Going back to your other post about your DS if he is not into building the incredible worked out body then my son would have him into that. My son has engaged many of his friends into the tough workout of the gym many that I have known since they were children and now many of them have big shoulders, biceps and the eight pack stomach rather than a six pack. I am happy for him "I wonder when he will find that wife for himself"