*SUPPORT* for all who are living with estrangement

I hope everyone had a good Easter.

I haven't been posting here for a while, as I have been feeling a bit down since DH's shock cancer diagnosis and I don't want to seem too self-pitying, as there are a lot of other people on this thread who need support. I also started my own thread on Mumsnet, where the demographic is different, to try to gain another perspective, which took quite a lot of time, as things move much faster there - the thread was completely filled ie 1000 posts, including my own! The support was wonderful, just as it is on here - someone even sent me a hand kitted blanket! But now I am back to see my old friends (as in long standing not aged!).

DD1 has gone from one extreme to the other and is now in daily contact and keeps wanting to FaceTime, usually accompanied by one of the DGDs. I wondered at first if it was her way of trying to make amends for the past few years, but I have realised that she really wants to be in touch, that she is proud of her DDs and wants to share that with me and DH. She was also very shocked by DH's diagnosis and is showing great concern for him.

This has made me see things differently, to an extent. I still feel very hurt that she got married and, in particular, that she didn't tell us about DGD1 for the first 14 months of her life. The fact of DH's diagnosis makes it harder in a way. I think of all of the special moments which he has been deprived of and I feel angry on his behalf as there will be limited future opportunities, even without the virus. DH is a more forgiving person than I am and is just pleased that we were able to travel to meet the DGDs - it was just before lockdown.

However, it also makes me think that DD1 has suffered too. She genuinely loves her family and was deprived of sharing her wedding day and the joy of her first born child with her parents and sisters, as well as spending precious time with her father. I think she must already feel that to an extent but even more so in the future. That is what I tell myself when I feel angry or ambivalent towards her.

Don't get me wrong. I know that many of you will think that I am lucky to be reconciled, and I would like you to see my situation as hopeful for all of us. However, the sisters remain estranged, and reconciliation itself brings its own difficulties, even without the situation with DH. I know that I just need to take life as it comes and look for the joy in each new day.

I suppose the thing I have learnt recently is how little control we have over the big events in our lives, although it is human nature to blame ourselves and ask what we could have done differently. But once I accept that there is a limited amount we can do to change things, it becomes easier to accept them, and with that comes some peace of mind.

Sorry for the philosophical ramblings. Wishing you all a peaceful and joyful day. Xx

As reported in The Times, the French have been queuing for food, the Brits for loo roll and the Americans for guns

We are fortunate that our local stores are well-stocked on loo roll now. All the baking supplies are gone, though - hardly surprising. Bread is a bit hit and miss.

Thankfully it's only Hubby and daughter who are the bread monsters in our house - I eat low-carb.

I managed to get flour from our local Premier supermarket a couple of weeks ago hugshelp and there are plenty of loo rolls in our Aldi.

I don't know if you're OK to go out but if you are and get to an Aldi I'm sure you'll be able to get loo rolls.

Just waiting for a shop to come. No eggs again. No vitamin C, wipes, or sugar (ordinary or icing) and no flour. No loo roll. But should be ok otherwise.
Baking stuff and loo roll been hard to come by for weeks now.

Good afternoon ladies. Doesn't feel like a bank holiday Monday does it, doesn't feel like a Monday come to that. All the days feel the same, well apart from yesterday because had roast beef for out dinner so I knew it was a Sunday.

There are things I could be doing but TBH I just can't be bothered. Did my daily exercise routine earlier so at least that's something.

I'm sat here looking at my glass display cabinet in our kitchen diner, pondering whether or not to empty it and polish all the glass; back, sides, front and shelves.

Would fill my afternoon OR I could just cuddle the dogs and watch the Indiana Jones film now on tv; decisions, decisions

PFx

Happy Easter everybody!

Wishing everyone a peaceful Easter Sunday however you may be spending it.

My little late baby (5) is full of cold. With our adult children still working we could easily have a cold going through us. Blocked nose is not a symptom I hear. I haven't worked for a few weeks now but have to go in soon. Trying to figure out if we should be isolating instead.

Wishing you peace this Easter Sundayx

I slept for 13 hours. I'm still achy but going to have a nice bath and see if that helps

'Happy Easter' to you too hugshelp .

We've made the most of the lovely weather here today, enjoyed the warmand sat out on our roof terrace this afternoon to read.

Just enjoyed another lovely BBQ courtesy of Mr. S. and will be spending another time of prayer and reflection with our vicar when she comes on line at 8.00 pm.

Just enough time to wish you a good eveningx

I do hope you feel better soon starb
Happy Easter everyone. x

If you find success Yogagirl I'd love to give it a go. I feel utterly dreadful to be honest but I'm hoping I've just overdone it and stress is getting to me. Going to have a slow day and rest.

Morning everyone.

It's good that you've been keeping yourself busy Yogagirl. I've no idea what you're talking about on a technical levelbut it does sound complicated so well done.

Hope your feeling better today Starblaze

I did my yoga video to put on YouTube for my students to follow. Did 60mins, normally 90mins, took from 2 till 10.30 to upload 30mins, only to stick on 99% and then finding out you can only upload 15mins at a time! trying to sort but It keeps rejecting my ph no. to increase upload, so I've come right out and will try again from scratch.
Well, that's what I was up to yesterday, sorry to bore
Hope everyone is ok xxx

The numbers today were horrifying. I've seen people say that x amount would die in a day anyway and we shouldn't be locked down, it makes me so cross.

Another day of lock down draws to an end. We took our dogs to a beautiful local park for a walk this afternoon and then drove along the sea front.

It was comforting to see hardly anyone about whilst also being very strange to see everything on the sea front closed down.

Not many on the beached but we prefer to stay away.

Have a good evening dear friends x

Glad you're OK Rhinestonethat must be worrying for you and I see Trump once again is all about the economy; the man must have a heart of stone.

I was shocked to see mass graves in New York; a frightening scene.

It's really helpful when you find a book that you can identify with. The first and the best for me was 'Abandoned Parents: The Devil's Dilemma' by Sharon Anne Wildey. I felt as if she'd been sitting on my shoulder and sharing everything with me.

You've been instrumental in all of us not feeling alone too.

Just had some yummy hot cross buns for lunch.

Glad you got your corned beef chewb
Nice to see you again pantglas - Happy Easter to you too
Happy Easter star - hope it's nothing worrying and gets better soon
I'm sorry things are so worrying for you atm rhinestone and so difficult. Sending you hugs back from the North of England.
Wishing you all a peaceful, happy, and safe Easter.

Thanks SmilelessWe are doing okay but our state has the third largest number of deaths. I think I mentioned my DD has two friends whose fathers died from this virus last week. We can’t find toilet paper , hand toweling or Clorox wipes. I ordered some hand toweling online and it turned out to be the kind you find in bathrooms in stores. Better than nothing I guess. Trying to plan my garden but not sure if I can get any flowers. Our stay in place has been expanded to May 1st.
By the way at the suggestion of my psychologist I am reading a book entitled
“ Walking on Eggshells.” It’s worth the read and will explain the relationships we have had with our DC. It’s by Jane Isay and it’s a fast read. I don’t feel alone after reading some of this.
Of course I haven’t felt alone since being on here for the last few years. Sending you hugs from the states.

Good to see your post Pantglas.

It's so reassuring to see a post from someone who hasn't been on for a while to know that you're OK, especially at this time.

Woken up with a bit of a cough and some chest pain today. Fingers crossed just hay-fever

Happy Easter!