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Estrangement

AEC thread. Feel free to chat or add helpful resources here.

(1001 Posts)
Starblaze Mon 25-Nov-19 22:22:20

A few I still need to work on a bit more here but I remember being this person and how unhappy I was.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/tech-support/201811/12-wrong-assumptions-unloved-daughter-makes-about-life?fbclid=IwAR2_mPcSuRMrJAtTuVEb8iWrHaCzJccxP_B0UQVAep-UMGOq1VXenp-nz8Y

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jul-20 22:34:30

Yes Cristoff made Truman his raison d'être and he knew that, if Truman left, his whole reason for living would be meaningless. Another life lesson....

HolyHannah Sun 19-Jul-20 22:34:06

The mother in the Truman show is just like a real life Narcissistic mother - playing a role, carrying the "title" while NOT being an actual mother.

The results are the same. Starblaze, you nailed it when observing that there would have been nothing to 'escape' if even ONE person had truly cared. It's rather a validating message indeed.

rosecarmel -- All love and positive energy always accepted. Live Long and Prosper.

PS -- Jeopardy! is so my game.

Smileless2012 Sun 19-Jul-20 22:21:32

For me, it was the shows creator who was the narcissist in 'The Truman Show'. He created his 'own world' over which he had complete control.

Truman's 'mother' was an actress just like all the others in the show.

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jul-20 22:19:25

Like a hole in the head!

Smileless2012 Sun 19-Jul-20 22:18:27

Oh come on Chewbacca you know you'll miss Chuck when he stops talking to yougrin.

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jul-20 21:58:32

and the recording mechanism was struggling!!

Roll on the day! grin

Madgran77 Sun 19-Jul-20 21:51:12

My 3 year old GS is crackers about the Cars characters Madgran. I've got a Chuck truck here for him and it's the most irritating thing ever! If I forget to switch it off it goes to sleep for a while and then randomly, several hours later, will suddenly announce from the toy cupboard "Hi! My name's Chuck! Come and play"! Frightens the bejaysus out of me!

That made me laugh! I bought my grandchildren a toy that will repeat what one says to it and similarly, will suddenly wake up and say "Lets Play" ...has made me jump a couple of times when looking after them!! No longer got it though, they are older and the recording mechanism was struggling!!

Starblaze Sun 19-Jul-20 21:50:58

Actually ended up watching The Truman Show with a totally different mindset.

He lives in a created reality. The fact that his mother in the show was blatantly a narcissist probably explains how easily gaslit and manipulated he was for so long.

I liked when he broke out and he asked "was anything real" and the shows creater said "you were". I also liked when the shows creater said that he was safe in that fake reality, that there are bad people out there....

He will be OK though because he will be loved. It doesn't matter if he comes across bad people, being genuinely loved and wanted by someone real will help him cope with anything.

I truly believe had he genuinely been loved by any of the actors in The Truman Show, he would never have needed anything more. He would never needed to escape his bubble.

Its actually a great metaphor for my experience. Its genuinely made me happy cry.

An unexpected source of validation.

Smileless2012 Sun 19-Jul-20 21:49:47

Neither am I Madgran although I do seem to remember watching a car's film with our Godson's older brother a few years ago. Rather enjoyed itgrin.

rosecarmel Sun 19-Jul-20 21:39:23

Sally had sarcastically referred to McQueen as "Stickers"- She had already "changed" after living life in the fast lane, deciding to settle down in Radiator Springs, on route 66, instead of the interstate- She was sassy but very empathetic-

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jul-20 21:36:05

being open to change

That's the key to everything in life.

rosecarmel Sun 19-Jul-20 21:33:12

Chewbacca

I don't think so. But Doc Hudson is most definitely emotionally and mentally damaged by his forced retirement from the race track which possibly leaves him vulnerable to other psychosis.

Yes, an old, sulking, defeated grump- When he saw McQueen in court he was forced to face his racing past- And further yet after McQueen went into the garage and saw all the Piston Cups Doc won- They wound up playing supportive roles in each other's animated lives, both being open to change-

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jul-20 21:30:55

My 3 year old GS is crackers about the Cars characters Madgran. I've got a Chuck truck here for him and it's the most irritating thing ever! If I forget to switch it off it goes to sleep for a while and then randomly, several hours later, will suddenly announce from the toy cupboard "Hi! My name's Chuck! Come and play"! Frightens the bejaysus out of me! grin

rosecarmel Sun 19-Jul-20 21:25:42

Starblaze

.

Which to me means that Lightning isn't a narcissist-

Madgran77 Sun 19-Jul-20 21:07:39

Just read this so now a bit more enlightened!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightning_McQueen

Madgran77 Sun 19-Jul-20 21:03:08

Rather than using personal experiences, we could discuss the characters in Pixar's Cars -- or any Pixar/Disney flick

I'm not really up on those films or characters!! grin And who the hell is Lightning McQueen?

Starblaze Sun 19-Jul-20 21:02:29

.

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jul-20 21:02:22

I don't think so. But Doc Hudson is most definitely emotionally and mentally damaged by his forced retirement from the race track which possibly leaves him vulnerable to other psychosis.

rosecarmel Sun 19-Jul-20 20:55:38

I think there's room for modification in the blame vs accountability chart, but it's a start-

rosecarmel Sun 19-Jul-20 20:49:51

Rather than using personal experiences, we could discuss the characters in Pixar's Cars -- or any Pixar/Disney flick-

Is Lightning McQueen a narcissist?

Chewbacca Sun 19-Jul-20 20:43:13

That's brilliant rosecarmel. Fact finding, consider alternatives, the future and taking the initiative, in particular, resonate with me and, I think, are key elements in being able to move on to a better, healthier future and being able to put the past where it belongs - behind us. Very interesting, thank you for sharing that, I'm sure there will be others who will benefit from it too.

Madgran77 Sun 19-Jul-20 20:35:36

*"Wanting" the estranged individual to be different is common but it's a considerable time suck- Meaning, an enormous amount of time is allotted to wishing/ruminating-

I'm also suggesting that it's a carry over from childhood, of never having grown out of wanting the parent that did not then and does not now know how to provide attention but continues to desire of as an adult*

Thanks for explaining rosecarmel That makes a lot of sense and does tally to a large extent with my experience and observations.

Starblaze Sun 19-Jul-20 20:31:36

rosecarmel that's brilliant

rosecarmel Sun 19-Jul-20 20:20:14

Maybe this .. ?

rosecarmel Sun 19-Jul-20 20:09:42

Chewbacca

^It's Truman .. ? .. That will cost you a slice of your reality ..^

blush You're right rosecarmel; slice duly replaced!

?

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