AEC thread. Feel free to chat or add helpful resources here.

That's very sad endlesstrife. We know someone who has one of her GC almost full time. She's an only child and her mum just isn't interested in her at all.

Dad works away from home a lot, he adores her but because of her mum she spends most of her time with her GM.

She's a beautiful little girl with a very sweet nature. Does make you wonder what damage is being done at such a young age.

I heard a really sad story from my friend a while ago, and it makes you realise how things can get going in a child/ parent relationship before the child is even conscious of it. My friend’s daughter was in a park with her two little boys. She got chatting to the only other person in the park, who was with her little girl, about 3 I think. The lady was saying she never wanted children, but when she got to 40, she felt maybe she did, and had her daughter. She then said it was the biggest mistake of her life, and couldn’t face the next 16 plus years or so. What chance does that child have? My friend said this lady said all this in front of her daughter ?. It made us both cry.

I've found that too, time and time again when I read other EP's and GP's stories. Shock and disbelief at the way some are treated by their own AC.

I have no idea what a normal EP/GP is, what that definition would be or what the definition of a normal EAC is either. Common sense dictates that the former are abusive and the latter have been abused, but as we can see here on GN that is not always the case.

Recently there have been posts from EAC who despite the issues they had with their parent(s) never denied them their GC. They enabled that relationship to continue until they were old enough to make their own decisions.

Some decided to end their relationships while others continued. Their parents are to be admired IMO for not allowing their personal grievances to unfairly impact on their own children, and no to use them as weapons to inflict pain and suffering on their parents.

This is how I parent my children/ adult children and its obviously going well. I'm so grateful for all the resources out there that have taught me how to avoid repeating past mistakes from the parent I lived with growing up. We have so much to learn from the younger generation, we had so much to learn from the older but some were busy teaching us things we had to unlearn. I feel so privileged to have come through so much and been able to undo so much harm. Past patterns of behaviour were repeated here by people like my NM and with a little help from others I feel I can truly overcome that now. I don't need to care what people I don't actually like think of me. Anyway here is the link.

www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/Pages/Next-Stop-Adulthood-Tips-For-Parents.aspx

OutsideDave said, "Like issendei- I have no beef with estranged grandparents per se. estranged grandparents who congregate on Internet forums- much more so."

Early in my forays on social media to find support for my situation I 'went off' on an EP. He took my 'blows' like a champ and I immediately realized, "This guy is not a 'normal' EP/EGP." I apologized and he continued to not only talk to me but several other EAC very honestly about his situation.

He said something along the lines of, "I knew, having read the comments here, that my 'story' of, 'I really don't know why.' would be met with skepticism and I'll try to answer any questions you have because I really AM looking for answers."

He backed that up by doing just that... Answering honestly everything We asked without anger, asking 'why' We would ask for small/odd/weird details etc.

Many of Us were, in the end, rather confused by his estrangement. Many echoed, "If MY 'parent' had an attitude like yours WE wouldn't be estranged."

So I agree, I only disagree with EP/EGP's who display the type of behavior that caused my No Contact. And those of Us that have been on the receiving end of their behavior can quickly spot the difference.

Ilovemymum -- You rock.

PPS delete the internet history sometimes. FFS

PS stop overthinking shiiiiit you are fine. Come back to the real world. Nan sucks and we don't need her.

Hi mum! Since you wanted to hide what you were chatting on the internet I came to see. Why waste your time? Some of these people are just like nan. They will make you ill again cos they don't care about you.

I do! I love you! Stop it or Imma block this site from the computer. xoxo

It is usual practice to comment on the content of a link you’re posting though Starblaze . For instance I don’t have either the time or inclination to click on every link posted ( and you have posted a lot on this thread) . By indicating what you gained or deduced from the link would really help people decide if that’s something they too might be interested in .

Unless you’re not interested in any one else’s comment or thoughts ? I don’t know .

Night night.

Starblaze -- I love the 20 ways.... 1 and 4 together have been seen here today.

Oh these links are all very helpful and interesting to me or I wouldn't post them. Others may want to discuss after reading. I think that's the end of my saved links at the moment though.

Good night

I don't think we need links to be able to spot those.

Last one before sleep, how to spot an emotionally immature adult.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201603/can-you-spot-10-signs-childish-adult

Wouldn’t it make more sense Starblaze to post some commentary instead of endless links ? Either a precise of what the link contains or your thoughts on it .

Then others can decide whether to invest valuable time on it - or not .

Oh yeswell sock puppets or glove puppets I'm still the pretty pink one and you're still the green cross eyed one.

part 2

www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you-part-ii

Part 3

www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you-part-iii

Part 4

www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you-part-iv

This one is important

www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you-part-i

thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2018/01/the-female-narcissist-is-just-as-dangerous-heres-why/

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/insight-is-2020/201807/what-makes-some-narcissists-mean-competitive-and-jealous

sock puppets, not glove puppets! <wanders off, shaking head slowly>

You'll have to use one of your glove puppets to clean that up Chewbacca.

It’s like a parallel universe on this thread... ??

Oh Gonegirl, thanks for that! I've just spat tea all over my keyboard!