I feel so sad for many of you who are estranged from your grandchildren. Although my children are much older, they desperately miss their GG who idolised them. She was always very tactile and generous with them too.
Unfortunately the GP’s are cold and distant. They never hug the children, or play with or even treat them to a small sized shared packed of chocolate buttons, a comic, or any small token of thought and care. The children always openly thanked her very enthusiastically.
Unfortunately she’s now gone and the children grieve for her still. One set of GP’s have now gone, but mine are still alive.
Sadly my relationship with my DM is extremely difficult. I hate being left alone in a room with her because although she can no longer be physically abusive, she is really nasty, verbally. Life for her as she has said, would be a lot simpler if I was no longer here. She’s gone to the extent of making sure that I “know how to do it properly”(commit suicide) because she thinks that with a chronic disease, I will in time become a burden on people around me. I've always been the least favourite child as well, she’s told me. Hence I stay away from her, but I do let her see the children.
The children have asked why has their GG gone, but then they had four, now two grandparents who don’t idolise them like GG did. My DP’s have always been very cold and have always let me know that I was a mistake. I was abused physically and mentally. I’ve been told that my family were dysfunctional. I was used as a bartering tool as a child. GG and GGF were allowed to have me stay for a rare week on condition that something was given, paid for, something was done, etc. It was the only ever time that I truly felt safe and could relax. I didn’t feel on edge all the time when I was there, ready to jump out of the way or anticipate something horrible.
Fortunately, there came a time when I could drive and naturally I drove to my GG and GGF. I have some very lovely memories of those times and I feel very blessed. As for my children, I tell them that it’s better to have had, than to never have had at all. It hurts all the more when someone like that dies. She’s definitely left a huge void in our lives.
I’ve wondered sometimes how lovely it would be to ‘adopt’ some ‘grandparents’ who would actually appreciate us and be kind to myself, particularly. When we had Christmas dinner it felt like there were too many empty chairs...and thought about how many people would appreciate a family like ours...