Gransnet forums

Estrangement

Birthday

(12 Posts)
Sallywally1 Mon 13-Jul-20 20:31:49

Grandsons birthday today. Sent present as usual, but of course no response. I love you little one, though not seen you since you were one month old. Lots of pics from various sources, so I know what you look like - a little angel.

God bless you on your 6th birthday. Forever in my thoughts

V3ra Mon 13-Jul-20 21:49:22

Oh Sallywally1... so sad... 😥

Smileless2012 Mon 13-Jul-20 21:54:29

Sallywallyflowers I'm so sorry, I know the pain is impossible to put into words.

Pantglas2 Mon 13-Jul-20 22:07:49

Never give up Sally - I didn’t and got there in the end 💐

Starblaze Tue 14-Jul-20 10:28:06

SallyWally I'm not sure it's very helpful for you to be looking at pictures. It's technically stalking and harassment for you to receive pictures from any source if the parent doesn't want you to have them.

Maybe you should stop sending presents, although often unwanted presents go to charity which is a positive, again it's contact that is unwanted.

Is there any way you can repair the relationship with your grandchilds parent? This would be the best way of having a positive relationship with your grandchild.

If not, I think maybe you should get some counselling and help to live your life to its full.

Starblaze Tue 14-Jul-20 10:35:04

That should say healthy, not helpful. Sorry

ladymuck Tue 14-Jul-20 10:38:25

That's very sad, Sallywally. Your grandchild is missing something valuable by not having you in his life. Not thanking you for the gift is inexcusable!

Septimia Tue 14-Jul-20 10:43:19

Write a book of letters to him about your family, add photos, tell him how much you care and have tried to keep in touch. Save some money for him to have. And leave those things to him in your will. One day he'll get them and, even if your estrangment has never been resolved, will know that you cared. With luck, he'll get curious long before that stage and will look for you.

Chewbacca Tue 14-Jul-20 11:00:34

It's technically stalking and harassment for you to receive pictures from any source if the parent doesn't want you to have them.

This is incorrect. If Sallywally is being sent or given the photographs by friends or other family members, without her actually asking for them to be sourced on her behalf, she cannot be charged under the Harassment Act 1997. However, if she were to post those photographs on social media, for example on her Facebook page, that could constitute harassment.

However, "repeatedly sending presents, when asked not to do so" could be considered harassment and so cease if asked to do so.

I think we need to be careful, when advising others that the information we offer is correct.

Starblaze Tue 14-Jul-20 11:03:47

Thank you for clarifying Cheebacca

I did actually mean if OP were asking for them. I apologise I didn't manage to get that across.

Smileless2012 Tue 14-Jul-20 11:07:12

I agree Chewbacca with regard to Sallywally being sent or given photographs and also the gifts she sends her GC. Presumably she hasn't been asked to stop sending them.

Septimia's advice is good Sallywally. We have a 'memory' box for our GC which will be left to them in our wills. They'll one day know about their father's side of their family and that the GP's they never knew loved them.

Sparkling Thu 16-Jul-20 19:11:04

Sorry you are estranged Sally, it must be especially hard in lockdown. Send the card, love from mom x, you will be sorry if you miss it. Look after yourself and stay strong.💐