Putting up with the unacceptable

Everyone is different as is every situation. It is impossible to generalise without being able to walk in someone else's shoes.
We react in whatever way is right for us at the time and if we have never been
in that situation there is little we can say. All I can offer is to sympathise with anyone who has been in that situation.Who knows what we would do.

When I look back I can see now that we were fortunate that we never really knew our eldest GC , who was just 8 months when we were estranged and was before the second one was born.

I can understand that you "would sooner cut off (your) arm than lose (your) relationship with (your) very much beloved grandson" GagaJo. Parents will know that's how GP's feel and for some, it enables them to abuse their parents in the knowledge they'll put up with it, rather than lose the GC they love.

You only have to read the estrangement threads to see how heartbreaking it is to be cut off from grandchildren.

Obviously, others are free to make their own choices, but I would sooner cut off my arm than lose my relationship with my very much beloved grandson.

I agree Sparkling and as Lucca has posted, you don't know how you'd respond unless faced with that awful situation.

Having lived with estrangement from our son and only GC for more than 7 years, and knowing how devastating that is, when I read about the abuse that some P's/GP's put up with for fear of being estranged, I'm so thankful that we never got to that stage.

I'd rather have no relationship with our son than be in an abusive relationship.

My heart aches for relatives whose DIL abuses their son and grandchildren by taking total control over when, if at all, they can see their GCs. Yet these relatives go to the ends of the earth and back and are proper doormats to keep the link with the GC alive.

I see your point Sparkling but I guess until or unless you are in that position you cannot say what you would do ?