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Grandsons too old for grandparents now

(33 Posts)
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boat Fri 07-Aug-20 00:33:44

Why does the 16 year old have a car?

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NotSpaghetti Fri 07-Aug-20 00:31:00

If the 13 year old will talk politics he isn’t shutting you off. I do realise politics is not an easy area if you differ a lot, but it does mean he is still communicating. Can you at least quietly grit your teeth and hear him out?

The 16 year old will see himself as a young adult now... think back, I know I did and expect you did too - so he is probably more interested in relationships with his peers and the car and so on than family. I think that’s natural. I think if you keep the door open he’ll come back, in time.

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Lexisgranny Thu 06-Aug-20 22:22:41

Chewbacca and Furret are quite right, don’t take it personally. I was particularly close to my grandfather and remember he was quite upset the first time I skipped a family gathering to go out with friends. Now our grandchildren are in teens and early twenties they are exactly the same. They won’t forget your relationship when they were very young, even though it seems that way now. Just try to widen your own interests to bridge the gap in your life that you are feeling, but at the same time be interested and tolerant of their interests and views as well. Just remember that those cuddles will eventually turn to big bear hugs!

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Hithere Thu 06-Aug-20 22:15:11

I am afraid it is normal for them.

Attention does not equal how much they love you.

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sodapop Thu 06-Aug-20 21:55:34

That's what you want for your grandsons surely jworks they need to be independent and explore a world away from family now. Your life should not be all about them, get out and enjoy yourselves, have some fun. Your grandsons will come back to you eventually.

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Furret Thu 06-Aug-20 21:45:11

I agree that he (they) might well ‘fly back’ in the future. I’m pretty sure my own children ‘didn’t want to know’ us at that age. It was all about friends.

Don’t be broken-hearted. Get on with your lives and enjoy the time you have left. Then you’ll be be far happier and clued up for them in the future,

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Chewbacca Thu 06-Aug-20 21:35:08

It's just a part of growing up I'm afraid. You helped them to grow wings and now they're flying. But if you're lucky, they'll fly back every now and again. It's the circle of life.

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jworks Thu 06-Aug-20 20:55:15

I have two grandsons, 16 and 13, who think they are too old to have a relationship with their grandma and grandpa. We have been around all their life. We have practically raised the oldest one - he is adamant that he does not care if we move or stay (we recently moved away) - he does his own thing now (has a car and job and girlfriend). He has literally kicked us to the curb. The 13 year old likes us pretty well but really doesn't want to talk much - we are different I guess - because of politics and other things - I know he is a child but he wants to discuss politics and we differ - a lot. All this to say, Im having a hard time as a grandparent. My life was about them - my whole life - and now nothing. Any advice to help me through this. Can anyone relate?? It hurts my heart so bad. I didn't see this coming. I promise I have been sweet and kind. Their grandpa well not so much but he has reeled it in now that we see what is happening. I love my boys. I have a sweet "adopted" grand-daughter who takes some of the pain away but these boys. I love them dearly and want a relationship SO bad. Thanks for listening. Signed - brokenhearted in Texas.

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