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Estrangement

Birthday blues

(11 Posts)
ineedamum Thu 05-Nov-20 15:05:50

I always struggle with birthdays, this year is a big one and obviously things are different with Covid. It's a day where I wish I could be spoiled, feel I'm important to people and matter, that I'm special and valued for being me.

I didnt get these feelings from my childhood as I was abused, so my birthday is a reminder of my past.

This wont happen so it is down to me to make my day nice. How can I do this in lockdown when i can't travel anywhere?

I'll buy ready made food, which I never buy, as I'm not cooking or cleaning on my birthday.

A nice walk is weather dependent but it may make me feel lonely.

Any other ideas? Perhaps a nice book I can curl up with.

ineedamum Thu 05-Nov-20 15:06:45

I'll never be reconciled with my family but birthdays are always about families so I feel sad. A reminder of what I've never had

trustgone4sure Thu 05-Nov-20 15:10:54

Have a happy and lovely birthday ineedamum.
Spoil yourself with anything you fancy.
And try to forget the past or you re-live it and it spoils today.

Nortsat Thu 05-Nov-20 15:11:31

Sorry to hear this indeed.

What about a lovely film and a box of indulgent chocolates.

Some of your favourite music on Spotify and a glass of something indulgent to drink.

A relaxing bath with lovely bath oil and an aromatherapy candle.

A Zoom call with a trusted friend.

I think it’s a great idea to plan in advance and then you can look forward to it. I hope it’s lovely 🍰🥂💐

ineedamum Thu 05-Nov-20 17:18:59

Thank you x

silverlining48 Thu 05-Nov-20 17:40:37

Not sure when the big birthday is, but hope it’s happy. You can make it so because you have made it through a difficult childhood. You are not alone, it’s hard I know. Spoil yourself with things you like and maybe get together with a friend to celebrate a special day. Happy birthday.

Smileless2012 Thu 05-Nov-20 17:48:48

Just do whatever takes your fancy, and 'Happy Birthday'flowerscupcakewine; just to get you startedsmile.

Namsnanny Thu 05-Nov-20 19:02:26

Im sorry this has happened to you ineedamum.

It might cheer you up and make the day special if you have lots of nice things delivered to you on the day?
Perhaps some flowers, a special piece of jewellery or scent?
Maybe a nice leather bound book to keep as a diary?
Something luxurious that you wouldn't normally consider.

As you say this is a special birthday so plan something for a later date, and take pleasure in the planning.

Happy birthday and best wishes flowers

Grannyben Thu 05-Nov-20 19:11:26

You haven't said when your birthday is so, whenever the date, I wish you the happiest day possible.
I always cheer myself up with cake and sweets and, if you do go for a walk, remember to smile at anyone passing by and wish them good morning. People near my home always speak to each other in passing and it does make you feel included

ineedamum Thu 05-Nov-20 19:20:43

Thank you. I love the idea of having something special delivered, I'm not used to putting myself first so that will be great. X

Harris27 Thu 05-Nov-20 19:28:29

Treat yourself to something nice something you really would like and spoil yourself!