SUPPORT for all living with estrangement

I have been reading estrangement posts for a while. Smileless was kind enough to send me here and I finally got the nerve to post. I am in Texas and I know there is a huge time difference but believe me there is no human heart or empathy or love difference. You all are so wonderful and so special in your individual selves and group. Just reading your posts has helped me so much. I am so tired of crying at night and getting so little sleep for the last five years since this drama with our AD began. You have shown me through this forum there can be coping ideas out there and more importantly for me people who will listen and care. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.?

Thank you smileless2012. At the end of the day life goes on and we must stay calm and health to make the best of each day. Thankfully I have my hobbies which keep me occupied and I must work for a further 2 years. At least I got the kids into a better environment every weekend when they were growing up.

Oooh it would be the cat for me DerbyshireLass.

My heart goes out to you Socksandsock we never had the opportunity to know our GC. For you and them, to have that close relationship taken away is cruel.

It's a good support network Scotty. None of us expected to be here but now we are we can help one another. Others don't understand at all. Lucky them. I did have a close bond with my grandchildren when they were growing up. Onwards and upwards.

Ah I bet they look cute and nice and cosy too.

I don't have any pets at the moment. Once I've moved and am properly settled I might get a couple of kitties....probably from the rescue. Our last cat went with my youngest when he finally moved out. Not sure who I missed most, the cat or my son, ?

I was up with the larks, post office and Aldi shop done. Hair cut later.

All is quiet, no more nasty texts from Madam. No plans to see them this weekend, it looks like it's settling into a visit from them roughly once a month, I will be more than happy with that.

My youngest son and his girlfriend are coming round for lunch tomorrow. Tbh I would much rather spend time with them,,,,,,,far more relaxing, no eggshells. ?.

Other than that, nothing much happening - just quietly getting on with decluttering. Is it the lull before the storm. I have to say I feel very ambivalent about Christmas this year, will Madam kick off or will she behave ourself.

Either way I'm not going to let her rattle me. I will just prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Hope you are all well.

Our house is near the sea Yogi. We can see the sea over the roof tops from our kitchen window and roof terrace and a beautiful view from the top floor rear bedroom window.

When we were waiting for our purchase to go through, I used to think how lovely it would be to wake up in the morning and hear the sea gulls, 5 years later I still smile every morning when I wake up and hear them.

We are very happy here, and I hope you will be in your new home.

Glad you're feeling a little better DerbshireyLass You have been a busy bee with your coat shopping and why not. It's been that sort of a day here too. Like you I love bright and crispy days in the autumn and winter too.

It's a good excuse to dress our dogs up in their little jumpers.

Hello Scotty. Glad you found this thread. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me. It had been a lifesaver.

Well thankfully I'm finally starting to feel more human again. At least I am getting some sleep now, so hopefully another few days and I should be gambolling around like a new spring lamb, ??

I have kept myself busy with easy jobs (mainly online shopping?). A bit more decluttering, some paperwork, bill paying, banking and in the evenings binge watched "The Medicis" and the "The Last Czars". Plus some nice comedy films to keep my spirits up. Intended reading but just couldn't concentrate.

My online bargains include two very smart vintage pure wool coats.......one navy and one black and white tweed. Will drop them off at the cleaners next week. I also have my eye on a nice pink one (new) so I might make it a hat trick.....A girl can never have too many coats in our climate. ?.

I've rebooked my covid jab and flu jabs and a much needed hair cut.

Need to start thinking about Christmas soon??.

I am very undecided - I really found last Christmas Day a bit of a struggle. So much so that I really don't want to play host to a houseful this year. I know this sounds awful but I just don't want to have madam in my home on Christmas Day, well if I'm honest I don't want her in my home ever again but I doubt I'll be able to put that one off forever. ?. I'll have to find a workable solution to that one, one of these days, but not today. Lol. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara " I will think about it tomorrow, tomorrow is another day".

White over frost this morning, now blue skies and bright sunshine. Going to wrap up warm and head off for a stroll. I love these bright crispy autumn days,

Thank you Whiff I will take a walk by the sea on the day, with my little doggie, always makes me feel good, the sea air. I had a great spotted woodpecker twice in my garden, a Pheasant & a Kestrel pops in from time to time. Do have seagulls as well, as I am just a 15min drive from the sea, but thankfully they don't land.

I remember when you first decided to move Smiles. Such a big decision for you, so glad it all worked out so well for you and that you & Mr.S are really happy in your new home. 5years!!

Calmlocket

Oh lucky you Yoginimeisje having such a beautiful collection of birds in your garden. ? Where I am its mostly noisy seagulls, magpies, crows, all the ugly birds lol.

I think its that time of year where sadness creeps in with all the festivity making going on around us.

I'm moving nearer to the sea, so hope the seagulls don't frighten off all the nice little birds. I intend to plant a crab apple tree which little birds love.

Scotty I know this thread was my salvation. Don't know what I would have done without it. Sorry this has happened to you.

It's yet another club I never wanted to join . But with the help ,support,advice and friendship I am doing ok. Glad you are being helped by reading it.

Posting for the first time takes courage and glad you feel you could. It's not an easy thing to admit adult children can treat us this way. But by saying it's happened to you hopefully you can start to make peace with it. It's not going to be easy and we all have wobbles along the way. But you are amongst friends who understand.

Yogin hope you do something nice for yourself on the day something that makes you happy. I know that's easier said than done . So sending you a hug for the day.

Smiles 5 years since your move hope you and Mr S mark the day in some way . Same for you and Mr S about your 9th anniversary do something that makes you both happy. I am sure Mr S can find some mischief to get up to. ?.

I don't drive so have to rely on buses. But always get a taxi to the hospital and bus back.

Yogin I love the birds in my garden. Had a Sandpiper the other day must have needed a rest on its way to the beach. I keep forgetting I live 10 mins in a car from where I live now. But in 2 years only been twice. Can't get a bus there.

Craft group today hopefully the bus turns up.

Have the best day you can . ?

Welcome Scotty, keep reading and do join in when you want/need to. Lots of understanding given here by people at various stages of estrangement/fear of estrangement, even when being supportive critical friends.

Hope today is a better one for you smileless you are such a great support to others and you too Elless
Welcome to you scottythis is a place of comfort and encouragement. I read more than post and take heart ftom theses lovely grans. Their positive posts have helped me so much..

Oh lucky you Yoginimeisje having such a beautiful collection of birds in your garden. ? Where I am its mostly noisy seagulls, magpies, crows, all the ugly birds lol.

I think its that time of year where sadness creeps in with all the festivity making going on around us.

A very warm welcome to our support thread Scotty. So pleased that you've found our chat helpful in trying to deal with a difficult and painful situation.

I'm going to send you a pm when I've finished this post.

Good grief agnurse I knew Main Coone's were big cats but had no idea Ragdolls could also get so big. They'd make my Sphynx look positively small by comparison.

How annoying Whiff, what's the point of encouraging people to leave their cars at home and use public transport, if you can't rely on it.

That must be it Yogi, for both of us our 9 year anniversary is looming. Today is a happy anniversary for us as it's 5 years today that we moved into our beautiful home.

Just seen your post [Scotty] welcome and sorry you're in the same sad boat.

Sitting here this morning in my bedroom watching all the goldfinch on my tree, blue tits & great and my little Robin that visits every day, they do lighten my heart, I will really miss my tree with all my little birds when I move. Also have a resident squirrel that pinches the birds nuts and buries them in the garden for winter.

Sorry to hear you are feeling sad [Smileless] & [Elless] here are some to cheer you. Even though I have said I don't acknowledge anything regarding my EstD & GC any more, being the only way to coup with the grief, as the 9yrs ann. is approaching, I have started getting some very sad moments.

This is my first time of posting, but I have been reading this thread for some months now. I have found your kindness and the support you give to each other so helpful. I did not know how heartbreaking estrangement was until it happened to us and some days it's been so hard, but I want to say thank you, you have brought encouragement and even raised a smile or two when things have been difficult, you don't know how much this thread helps.

agnurse never knew cats could get so big. I don't have pets but do love to hear what other people's pets get up to.

A woman at my craft group has a coral snake and gives the shed skin to a nail bar. Didn't like to ask why. Glad I don't have my nails done . The mind boggles what they do with the skin.

Smiles and Elless I hope today is a better day for you both. Elless and DerbyshireLass hope you are both feeling better.

Went to catch my bus should have been at 7 mins past waited until half past but it didn't come. My exercise class starts at half. That's the second in I haven't been able to go because of the bus. Next week I am walking to the main road will have a choice of more buses. I hate not keeping appointments due things out if my control.?

Whiff

They make cat hammocks that can be fixed to the window, as well - they have big suction cup fasteners.

Smiles

There is a gentleman I follow on another site who has two very large cats. One is a Maine Coon and weighs 28 lbs and the other is a Ragdoll and weighs 18-19 lbs. He has a cat tree for them that was specially made by someone in his area. They're too large for a standard cat tree! (They aren't actually overweight. They are just BIG. The MC, when he stands on his hind legs, is probably almost as tall as a small child.)

It's on a metal frame that hooks on to the top of the radiator Whiff. There's a small footstool underneath which is just as well because he's so big and heavy, not over weight just a big cat, that if the foot stool wasn't there he'd go straight through!!!

I learn something new everyday. I didn't know cats could have hammocks. How does it attach to the radiator?

Glad you are feeling better Smiles.

Thanks Bridie and PF. It's dark, very windy and pouring with rain here but strangely enough it's lifted my mood a little.

The dinner's on, Mr. S. is doing some water colour painting, the dogs are cuddled up together and the cat is quite literally snoring in his hammock attached to the radiator.

It's peaceful and warm and I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I am.

Sending massive hugs to Smileless and Elless. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you both. xx

Smileless ? Elless ?

Thanks Whiff it's good we have this place to come to unburden and be understood.