This was explained to me recently and it has done a lot to help me understand the dynamic in my family and why I so easily became a scapegoat. I'll put the video recommended to me at the end
I always told the truth, I never participated in all the backstabbing and gossiping among family members and I always pointed out behaviour that was not OK. I refused to take sides or offer blanket support in situations where someone in the family was at fault.
I often retreated into fantasy as a way to protect myself from the fact that I wasn't loved, I wasn't supported and I wasn't wanted. I knew the truth but the fantasy kept me hanging on for something different.
All the work that was done to discredit me from a young age.
My Dad would tell you I was an easy child, quiet, sometimes lost in my own world, sometimes listening more than he knew so that he would be surprised when I commented on the adult conversation around me. I know because I recently asked him while I was trying to help my understanding.
My mum would tell you I was rude, difficult, selfish, badly behaved and prone to lying and telling stories. As I grew up she added druggie, mentally ill, a failure, bad mother, bad daughter and one who just didn't do anything for her. That's how the whole family sees me despite none of them, including my brother who is a decade younger than me and was a small child when I left home, really spending much time getting to know me. I rarely saw any family growing up. My mum was estranged for long periods from most of them yet that's quite normal in my family, to punish with silence which is probably why they don't accept I went no contact for protection.
This came from multiple directions where I was told that none of the family liked me and the family was told that I was a horrible person. Then here I am in my role of scapegoat being everyone's emotional punchbag because I don't have value and I'm not good enough for them.
So this really resonates with me because it is a dynamic I have often fallen foul of but actually, taking a step back it's so interesting how narcissists do this, how they create monsters only they can see. People outside of that situation, who aren't invested in the lie, are not narcissists themselves or enabling/enmeshed with onw can look in and when the truth teller speaks they actually listen.
Police horse's attacked by dog
Wordling away continued??? 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
The King’s trip to France has been postponed