my mum and younger brother are quite similar.
Both having an addiction in younger years, both of them being difficult to be with.
I have always been a supportive loving daughter, everytime anyone needed help and support, I was there.
Well, it is no longer like that.
My mother’s nickname is Caterpillar, for a reason.
Everything started when my dad died.
After that, my mother kept on being more difficult to handle.
It was not the pain for her loss, just my dad kicked her ass to be at least decent. Gone my dad, things had changed. She said no to everything, does not care about anything about others, just cares when she needs something. I have tried to talk to her many times, heart on my sleeve and what I got is her stating that I humiliated her.
She hid behind her difficult childhood for everything but, hey, my mother in law had a difficult childhood as well, but in spite of this and very bad health she has been very loving to me and I still miss her dearly.
I have always knew that my younger brother was the apple of her eye, and I have accepted that as a fact.
Last year she suffered a stroke. I was at the hospital almost everyday, bringing her all the stuff she needed and all. Took time of my job to talk to doctors etc. It’s not that I am a saint, but when someone is in hospital, they do need a number of things.
My younger brother showed up to hospital only a few days before she came home because ‘he was not interested in visiting her’. Note that he lives with her, he has a part time job and she pays for all the expenses he may have. I have lent him money myself, which he has never returned.
Well, she began insisting that I should be a second mother to my brother, that her, being a mother, knows better. I am a childfree and it was not the first time she was quite rude to me about my life choice.
I refused, because I feel it is not right and I do not want to be nothing but a sister.
She kept on insisting that I did what she wants. I am in my fifties and I do not react well when I am imposed to do something. She says that my elder brother has found love and got married, I am married too (my husband is a dear!) and I should be a second mother to my younger brother because he is alone.
Truth to be said, he was a kind of womanizer when he was younger, I know for sure that he had broken a few hearts, but it was his choice and I'd pity any woman who has the bad look to cross path with him.
Suddenly, I have just felt that all my care, my love had drained away from me, all the bad things I forgave from the past had showed up again (i.e. no money for my uni, but they found it to pay for his addiction).
I am sorry, but I cannot hide that fact that I do not want to have relashionships with her anymore.
She told me she felt was the right thing to do. And what about my husband? Shed did not think about how he might feel about this silly pretense. Whenever my brother is around, things are very tense, he had a very difficult relationship with my dad and I can say he blamed him for his unhappiness.
I have found out I am better without her, I have even stopped craving sweets (always been a sweet tooth).
Apologies for any mistaked, English not my first language.
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Doing something for the First Time