Estranged SIL appears to be reading the letters I sent my Dad

It's possible that his eyesight has deteriorated so has asked them to read the letter. If you still want to send him letters then keep the contents light. I don't think you would be able to stop them reading your letters if they are local to your dad and you are not. Would phoning him be out of the question?

Sorry, just saw you don't have his phone number.

Thanks Grandmabatty.

I've just phoned my aunt as I feel miserable about it - apparently she has asked for my Dad's number several times and they haven't given it to her. I think they are isolating him ready to pounce on his money.

I'm going to wait and see if he replies to the letter, and in future, will send breezy postcards as you suggest

I'm so sorry this happened. It took a lot for you to reach out like that.

I think you need to make sure you send nothing too personal too

Do you know of any of your Dad's old friends or neighbours Shandy57?

There is a risk when you put something in writing - may not stay private

Sadly, he is closer to them than to you.

I think it would be quite natural for your father to talk to your brother about a letter you sent to him. I expect you spoke to people about the letter you sent.

Hmmmm, i would still write but don't put things in the letters that you font want others to know.

Your SIL may even get the letters before your dad and open them. If your SIL and family have access to your dads home, it is possible.

Sorry you are experiencing all this.

www.google.com/url?client=internal-element-cse&cx=010995057459380558086:wn3vvylhmc4&q=https://www.gransnet.com/forums/estrangement/1301021-Letter-from-estranged-89-year-old-father-asking-for-one-letter-a-year&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwic3p2Z1uH1AhXjyIUKHdnIDxMQFnoECAYQAg&usg=AOvVaw2o_FezF_tNW6fXWWlzdDvB

I remember you posting about this last year- did things improve at all as a result of the suggestions which were made?
(Apologies for the length of the link)

I’d keep your letters light with no personal information or could you provide your dad with a mobile phone would he manage something like that . Just a thought….

Thank you for all your replies.

I will continue to correspond with him occasionally, but as many have suggested, keep the letter light and impersonal.

I remember your previous post. Unfortunately you cannot alter what they have read, just how you react to it, too late now to do anything and I doubt that if they don’t have a response from you, they will just fade out of your life.

Luckily they won't know how I've reacted Allsorts, I have no contact with them at all. They obviously told my aunt knowing that she would tell me. I won't be putting anything at all personal in my next note.

If your father cant deal with a mobile phone, would he still have a landline?
Unless he has gone x-directory you might still be able to get his number from the operator.. just a thought...

That’s good Shandy.

Yes...anything in writing can be a real problem. I don’t think there’s much you can do, just be careful what you write in the future.

One thing for sure, at least it’s proof you haven’t entirely washed your hands of your dad, and have tried to remain civil. They can never say you didn’t bother.

Take care.

Google his name and address and you might get a phone number.