6 sources of tension between adult children and parents

imaround

Norah

imaround, As a USA vacation homeowner, my opinion was asked. I gave my opinion using verifiable facts - not bashing.

Anyone can read about the debacle that overturned Roe, the more than 311,000 students who have experienced gun violence at school since Columbine (Washington Post).

Nobody is bashing with facts.

It is not the facts that are the problem. Facts are truth. It is the attitude that we here in the US are somehow less than because of our culture. A culture that you willingly chose to purchase a home in by the way.

You and Chewbacca have taken this thread away from its intended purpose. You simply refuse to honor the request to allow this thread to return to its intended topic and argue that you are right because you have facts. Because? You can? THAT is what is rude.

I don't think Americans are less than anything.

My son and family live there, so, obviously I want America to thrive and prosper. I'd be a bit daft not to. ?

But, threads, on any forum meander and wander.

That's forum life - they take on a life of their own. Not rude, just how it is. ?

I know that VS. That is what keeps me going. But I am not embarrassed to say a quiet deserted island sounds amazing some days.

It is amazing how tension can affect a relationship so much.

I wish your mother could see and appreciate how much you are doing for her imaround

You and she are very different

You are like most normal people, you are positive and want to be able to help and support others and that is what makes you happy.

She is negative, she needs to feel superior by putting others down and thats what makes her happy.

Her type of happiness is short lived though, its a quick fix, it falls off into the void she can't fill. Ultimately her method of brief happiness causes her own long term misery. She perpetuates this whole mess herself.

You are amazing though. Any good parent knows this.

Norah

*imaround*, As a USA vacation homeowner, my opinion was asked. I gave my opinion using verifiable facts - not bashing.

Anyone can read about the debacle that overturned Roe, the more than 311,000 students who have experienced gun violence at school since Columbine (Washington Post).

Nobody is bashing with facts.

It is not the facts that are the problem. Facts are truth. It is the attitude that we here in the US are somehow less than because of our culture. A culture that you willingly chose to purchase a home in by the way.

You and Chewbacca have taken this thread away from its intended purpose. You simply refuse to honor the request to allow this thread to return to its intended topic and argue that you are right because you have facts. Because? You can? THAT is what is rude.

Chewbacca

That's a very good comparison DiamondLily. I think I recall seeing somewhere that London had higher knife crime stats than NYC. Shocking that we've not got to grips with that by now.

Yes, we have. I bat around central London a lot, though, and not really had a problem.

My grandsons have, however, all been mugged, at knifepoint, to get their phones etc.?

I suppose, much like America, it depends on where you are, at any given point.

My son was an administrator in a central Chicago hospital, for a time, and it was chaotic.

He is now an administrator for a corporate firm of hospices, in another area, and it's calm. It's only when he has to go to Chicago for meetings, he is more cautious.

imaround, As a USA vacation homeowner, my opinion was asked. I gave my opinion using verifiable facts - not bashing.

Anyone can read about the debacle that overturned Roe, the more than 311,000 students who have experienced gun violence at school since Columbine (Washington Post).

Nobody is bashing with facts.

So I have realized lately a new source of tension between my mom and I.

As you know, I was estranged until she got sick and then my dad died. Unfortunately my sister is standing in the wings taking advantage of her limitations after her illness.

I have worked hard to get her life in order and she is actively trying to unravel everything. Not maliciously, but because she actually thinks she knows better even though she does not. There is a reason it took me a month to clean up her finances.

Now, she is mad at me for telling her what she is doing is a bad idea and I feel resentful that I worked so hard to fix it for nothing. It is leading me to a point where I feel myself avoiding her as long as I can.

Are not interested that should say

imaround

I am sorry people are interested in hearing your discomfort

This discussion could easily be stopped or moved

I'm sorry there is no care or concern expressed where opinions are deemed more important than anothers feelings

That's a very good comparison DiamondLily. I think I recall seeing somewhere that London had higher knife crime stats than NYC. Shocking that we've not got to grips with that by now.

Norah

imaround, how is stating facts bashing? Roe over turned is factual, numbers of guns and gun violence is factual.

It is the fact that you take over a thread not intended for this topic and barely hide your disdain for our culture. Americans are working very hard to right the wrongs in our society. And you sit there on your pedestal in the UK like you all are perfect? And what is sad is that you can't even see how rude you are being.

Take your opinions and start a new thread over in politics.

Chewbacca

Yeah, I think I'd feel pretty much the same Norah but, not having any personal experience if life in the USA, I can easily see how the "if everyone else has a gun, then I'll need one to protect myself too" theory escalates. Fear breeds fear.

It's a bit like teenagers over here, with knives. Some teenagers carry knives to do wrong. Innocent teenagers feel they need to carry knives to protect themselves.

And, so knife ownership escalates amongst the young.?

Norah

imaround, how is stating facts bashing? Roe over turned is factual, numbers of guns and gun violence is factual.

Best not to let facts get in the way of an argument...?

Yeah, I think I'd feel pretty much the same Norah but, not having any personal experience if life in the USA, I can easily see how the "if everyone else has a gun, then I'll need one to protect myself too" theory escalates. Fear breeds fear.

imaround

How in the he'll did a thread about tension between parents and children turn into a thread bashing America?

I've reported the point this new discussion started on this thread and asked for the comments afterwards to be looked into as I'm not comfortable with this happening on a thread I started.

Norah

Chewbacca, Interestingly, our friends have permits and carry guns in their cars, on their person, in their bags - knowing this we'll never get in a car with a friend to go to an event, we drive alone. They may bring violence on themselves, leave us out please.

Luckily, when my American family and friends come here, they can't/don't bring guns, and they are happy to holiday in a place where they don't need them.?

Contrary to a lot of reporting, most of us do rock around central London, unarmed, and cheerfully.?

imaround, how is stating facts bashing? Roe over turned is factual, numbers of guns and gun violence is factual.

Chewbacca, Interestingly, our friends have permits and carry guns in their cars, on their person, in their bags - knowing this we'll never get in a car with a friend to go to an event, we drive alone. They may bring violence on themselves, leave us out please.

No wonder there are so many sources of tension.

It is the "us and them" mentality.

The generalisations

The superiority

The xenophobia

Parents who think they have all the power and authority

Thank you for keeping this thread on track and highlighting these issues

How in the he'll did a thread about tension between parents and children turn into a thread bashing America?

Chewbacca, Last I read, "With the overturn of Roe v. Wade by the U.S. Supreme Court in June 2022, abortion policies and reproductive rights are in the hands of each state. Half of U.S. states are expected to ban abortion in the days and weeks following the Court’s decision taking away the constitutional right to abortion."

Norah

VioletSky "Roe v wade, Plenty of british grans feel abortion is wrong"

Of course Brits also think abortion may be wrong, however Roe is about choices for ones own body. I'm 77 and have never had to face being pregnant by rape or incest, abortion choices I haven't had to make.

It's always a bit of a puzzle to me out there. They will defend the rights of the unborn child, to the hilt, (rightly or wrongly), but the moment that child is born, it's rights seem to cease, in some states, at least.

Many bitterly resent "welfare payments" to the poorest, and it can be difficult to get.

Healthcare is charges-based - if parents can't afford it, or haven't got the right health insurance, the medical care that the poorest kids get is often below standard, and (in some states), doesn't cover the most poorly of these children for long.

enough for every man, woman and child to own one and still have 67 million guns left over.

You're not kidding that's far too many Norah. I watched the Killer in Our Classroom programme last night, about the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida. 18 school children shot by a 19 year old male who owned an AK47 that's normally used by the military in conflict zones. How on earth can those be legally sold as "personal protection"?

Stop feeling superior when it's morally worthless.

We have American members

Generalisations are wrong.

Norah

The UK is the second biggest arms exporter in the world

Our guns end up in all sorts of place they probably shouldn't be.

So how can we possibly judge?