Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life

Posted it incase I lost my ramble. Sorry it's whinny in parts. But I know I can say how I feel and not being judged .

Yogin if it makes you feel any better my daughter and son in law won't let me pay when we go out. Even though I offer they say no. Only time my daughter let me pay was when with her and my grandson( he's brother was at school ) went out to lunch on her birthday . It's their way of showing love plus my daughter always says spend money on yourself. She knows what my finances are like. But because of having PIP and both UC haven't had to worry about money for few months now. My daughter had said they would pay and bills if I couldn't. But I couldn't take money off my child it's in my eyes wrong. Thankfully things didn't get that bad and still have bit of savings.

I can't go the pictures as I know understand why I stiffened up and my limb jerks where bad when I used to go with my husband and children then a couple of times after he died. It's the noise ,echos and closed in space set my HPX off. We have a local picture house which is a community one and run as a charity it's only £1 for over 60's for pot luck film. Twice a week. But know I could stand being closed in and the noise. Ear plugs wouldn't help as I hear my heart beat in my left ear and they would make it louder.

From my rambles you know I can be nutty at times. Took the tree down yesterday and found sometime after the boys did it I glued an ornament to the tree no idea when or why. Had to get it off in 2 pieces but at least they are usable ones for next year.

Always nice to see old posters popping in . Better stop my ramble .

Sorry if I missed anyone out. Hope 2024 is a good year for you all.

Smiles hope your friend is recovering well from his operation.

Happy new year to you all. Been at lot of activity on my HPX group so been posting lots there . Because it's world wide feels like I have travelled the world from my home . Been to countries I have and never will go to in real life.

I read about NZ and costs 😱. Funny enough jogged a memory. Mom mischarged in 1953. Then dad was offered a job with a house in NZ but mom wouldn't go and leave her family. I asked her why and she said family first .

Pity our estranged children don't think that way.

While I did have a lovely Christmas day and get on very well with my daughter's in laws what I didn't say was they talked about people I didn't know but my daughter did gathered they where family members on their side. But no one said they are so and so like I do when talking to people about my family if they don't know who I am talking about. Which them made me remember years ago before I moved up here. My daughter's eldest thinks it was his birthday and at their old house where her in laws and sister in law and family. I had never felt left out before and remember feeling very alone and then felt tears so went to my room. A while later my daughter came to find me and I was crying . Just said it was to much more me and to apologise. My son and daughter hadn't been on good terms for years due to my daughter in law's jealousy of my daughter. So they never went to eachother's houses. My son only came to my daughter's to pick me up but she always stayed out of the way when he did . Otherwise she would have had a go about always being late picking me up which he was could be up to 2 hours . Whilst it hurt I was just glad to be with them.

I hate being late anywhere and always at least 30 mins early. I even get to bus stops 10-15 mins early when going out. My husband said that's why both the children where born early.

I always ask my daughter for present list for the boys for them as I never know what they needed . I started it when my son and daughter in law had my first grandson. My daughter's boys birthdays are November and January so I buy everything and split things between birthday and Christmas.

Her in laws don't do that and buy whatever they want which while lovely I can see my daughter's face when they open something's as they seem to forget there is a 3 year age gap and something's will need to be kept away from the youngest as he will break his brother's toys. Sounds nit picking I know . I think it's because their daughter's children are 5 and 3 years older and also their daughter never censors what toys they have. My daughter doesn't like the boys having electronic toys. I don't either as I think children should use their imaginations. And the boys aren't allowed to have have guns or swords. We never let ours have them but remember my son making a sword and gun out of stickle bricks. And was told firmly no.

This is sounding whinny and isn't fair to others like Smiles and Mr S who don't see their young grandchildren. But I can't say these things to people. I have done to a friend via email and she understood . But it was still playing on my mind.

Why do dogs like rolling in thinks they shouldn't I know friends with dogs say the same thing. One of my crafty friends has had a mouse in her apartment it was in her couch and damaged it. She caught it but even though the landlord plugged the hole where it came through another one got it luckily the trap got it. So her dad is going to make sure the hole is mouse proof today. It's all the clearing up and not knowing what mess is in the couch which is freaking her out. She had only had it 2 months don't know if she can claim on insurance. Luckily when I had them here they didn't damage anything but I had large electronic rodent repellors in every room going since 2019 24/7. One of my other crafty friends said one of her cats brought in a live rat years ago and had trouble catching it while the 2 cats just watched.

Been watching a lot of Christmas films on the run up to Christmas soon cheesy ones but it means I can cross stitch whilst watching them. Plus classics like both versions of 34th street and several versions on Christmas carol. On iPlayer there is one with Guy Pearce which is very dark more like the book .

I love Mrs Brown's boys I don't understand all the fuss over the kiss on the lips between Mrs Brown and Buster they are father and son in real life. My dad kissed my brother and my husband on the lips so did my husband to our children. I come from a family who all kissed on the lips. Not one mentioned how lovely the storyline was handled between Father Damien and his mom who had dementia and how she forgot and didn't speak but she sing. My mom forgot who everyone was only person she remembered was her great grandson by name.because he was a baby. The Wednesday before she died she said mom as she called me can we have a cuddle and I want to sing the songs dad taught me. It was lovely we sat on the bed her head on my shoulder and had my mom back while she sang for over hour and then was tired so she had a nap . I hold on to that memory as when she woke up she attacked me worse than ever.

Good morning all on Smileless lovely thread and a happy new year!

I’m still reading your posts, happy, sad and so-so …although I’ve been long reconciled, I’ll never forget those awful times when despair coloured all happiness and hope and sheer bloodymindedness kept me going!

May 2024 bring all that you wish x

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all.

I'm off for a walk with a friend this morning with our dogs and with another friend tomorrow, so finishing off the Xmas holidays and beginning the new year nicely.

Will post tomorrow.
Been busy tired now.

Happy new year to you all. Hope 2024 brings you peace and happiness and you do all the things you plan.

Big hugs to you all. 🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

Yes, I had a lovely time in the park with DD, GC, b-i-l & f-i-l thank you Spring. 14 for dinner, I intended putting in the pot when the bill arrived, but just beforehand my little GD dash down the stairs to the toilet, so I had to dash after her, she takes ages in the toilets, making the most of the soap, hand cream and the hand dryer, putting her head under for a blow dry of her hair and face So time I got back to the table the bill had just been paid. I did say I was going to put in and then of course all the jokes of 'ya, right, disappearing to the loo' all in good fun of course. But the bill came to £500 with f-i-l paying the lot again, I felt bad.

I did pay for coffee and cake in the park for all and have picked up the bill for all when they've come down to visit my part of the woods, but mostly f-i-l pays. It's embarrassing trying to offer to pay for at least mine but I find it wrong that he always seems to pick up the bill, sometimes he's son pays half [he's very wealthy] my f-i-l is well off but even so.

Wonka film sounds good. Have enjoyed watching both Paddington films over Xmas and today - such fun and always make me laugh. Saw One Life at the cinema this week with Anthony Hopkins - brilliant but have to admit I was in tears (in a good way) at the end. Hope your day in London works out Yogin, and you have a lovely time with your dd. Your dogs certainly keep you busy Smiles….esp when they misbehave!
We are having a quiet New Year too Allsorts. I’m always happy to go to bed at a reasonable time to start the New Year feeling fresh. Any New Year resolutions anyone?

Good to hear you enjoyed your Xmas Allsorts I'm watching all the old films too. Did watch 'Alice in the looking glass' yesterday, missed a bit of the beginning, but really good.

Off to London shortly, going with my DD as my son doesn't fancy it, hope the weather is ok with 2hrs.30mins in the park first. Just seemed silly for me to drive passed where my DD lives an hour later rather than go earlier with her, but sky looks ominous!

Further to the Oz discussion Smiles, I had a friend who's DD emigrated to OZ. They would visit 1-2 times per year, they also had a son here in UK. After years of this, they decided to buy some land and build a house on it, so they had their own place to stay on their visits. Friend then moved to Devon nearer the son, I went down to visit him with another friend about a year later but have now lost touch.
You can build a house in Oz as the say it is adding to the housing stock.

Thought the same thing Smiles re the 25k. The granny visa was a better option with 18mnths in a 2yr period, 6mnths at a time, could live between UK & Oz then, win win.

Glad everyone had a good Christmas, I was lucky to I spend it with my son and family. Thought of you and Mr S on the day, I read the posts from families with children in NZ and Oz, it opened my eyes a lot. It's not just estrangement that keeps people apart is it? It is so important for whatever reason, that support is there and people that understand.
I have not seen The Muppets Christmas Carol, now I've got to, I've seen every version, watched everyone, except that one. That's Christmas to me and It's A Wonderful Life with James Stewart, I sob each time though. Now New Year to look forward to but not seeing anyone, I am not a fan of New Year except to start my new diary.

Morning everyone.

I've looked at that discussion Yogin and nearly fell off my chair to read that it would cost £25K each to obtain a parental visa and could take 10 years. Good job our one and only discussion about joining DS in Aus. never went any further.

If we were thinking about it now, poor old Mr. S. would be 80 by the time we managed it.

The film was brilliant, so pleased we went to see it .

I was watching him avidly Yogin; the little bugger. I didn't even see it and pulled him up the moment he started to roll so it could have been worse.

Glad you had a good Christmas Spring and hope you're enjoying some down time.

Smiles: Offspring living in NZ on 'ask a gran'

Naughty Smiles white poodle! My dog does the same if I don't watch him avidly. My DD&GC went to see that film Smiles and they all loved it. Just been reading a new thread on AC living in Oz, interesting & sad at the same time, it would certainly interest you Smiles

Good to hear you had a nice Xmas Spring. I'm off to London tomorrow, 2.30hrs in park then meeting up with the rest of family for a nice mid-Xmas meal.

Phew! We’ve had a lovely Christmas but am looking forward now to a bit of a quieter time. Good news is that although I ate well haven’t put on any weight 👍! Stormy outside so a nice afternoon with a good book beckons….

That sounds lovely Yogin and I'm glad you enjoyed your B&C so much, you had another one.

The weather is awful again today so I'm so pleased we took the dogs out for a walk in some woods yesterday, and made the most of a lovely day while we could.

Of course our little white poodle just had to find something revolting to roll in. All down one side of his face and over one ear. He had to have a good face and ear wash when we got home, and was told in no uncertain terms while protesting, that he only had himself to blame.

It was easier said than done washing it out, it was like black treacle and smelled disgusting but once done he was as good as new.

Looking forward to seeing the new 'Willie Wonka' film this afternoon.

Morning everyone

Good to hear all had a good Xmas day. My park friends said they were all meeting up at the cafe in the park Xmas morning. I went thinking everyone would be inside the cafe but when I got there the cafe was closed and one of the guys had driven his car right up to the cafe, his hatch back boot open and inside was every drink you could wish for plus sausage rolls & mince pies. All the mulled wine had gone so I had a brandy & coke [never drink B&C] enjoyed it so much I had another one . It was just like going down the pub for an Xmas drink when I was young, really enjoyable.

Went to my DD for Xmas lunch at 2pm, had a lovely meal and a lovely afternoon & evening.

Went to Tesco extra yesterday and they had already cleared away all the Xmas goods! Quite day today, just a walk in the park with Joey.

Enjoy your quite mid Xmas day everyone.

oops

I'm glad I'm not the only one agnurse and have a feeling that Mr. S. is a convert too {tchsmile].

I LOVE The Muppet Christmas Carol. We recorded it on VHS when I was young (shown on TV one Christmas).

We just had a quiet day. Hubby works nights and he had just got off work Christmas morning. We had figured that our gifts to ourselves this year are going to be new beds so we haven't gotten them yet as are waiting for sales. We are going to visit my parents this weekend.

Smiles glad you had a lovely day yesterday with Mr S and the dogs. I had a lovely time. It was lovely to catch with my son in laws parents. Plenty to eat and drink .As expected brought home left over turkey. Enough to do 18 dinners as I do a stew which lasts 6 dinners. Got stew on at the moment. Left over nut roast and red cabbage for lunch. Ate the piece of salted caramel and chocolate torte for my treat last night watching TV when I got home at 7. Because of a large lunch we don't bother with tea. Also eat some chocolates good job there was only 5. I have no control over chocolate.

The new shower room is lovely and the tiler did a brilliant job as there was a curve to part of the ceiling and he cut the tile perfectly to mirror it.
Just me for the rest of the holiday. But got lots of programmes to catch up with.

Enjoy the rest of the break everyone.

Good morning everyone, I hope you all enjoyed your day yesterday.

We did, it was of course quiet with just the two of us once the dogs grew tired of playing with their new squeaky toys that is.

We enjoyed a lovely Christmas dinner and watched 'The Muppets Christmas Carol' which was my favourite gift and one I've been asking Mr. S. for, for years!!! He got there in the end .

A lovely walk into town at tea time with the dogs. It was very quiet and Mr. S. took some photo's of the lights to send to DS.

Today I'm going to write a note to myself on next year's calendar for the 1st of December.

'Relax and enjoy the decorations and build up to Christmas day. Don't feel sad if it's just going to be the two of us, because we always have a lovely day and we will again this year too'.

Lovely poem, Smileless, thank you. I couldn't help thinking of my estranged son today, but I've had a very nice day with my daughter and her family.
I hope everyone who is on this thread and all those who read it have had a happy day too. Best wishes.

Sad and beautiful poem Smileless, made me a bit teary.
Wishing you all a happy Xmas and a hopeful, healthy and peaceful coming year.🍷

Thanks Smiles for your brilliant poem - but also for the grace and compassion you show this community. You are amazing.

A very Merry Christmas to you all, and for all who used to post but no longer do, we remember you with fondness and gratitude, for all you contributed to these threads.