Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life

Sounds really lovely Smiles, take it you will be doing lots of walkies with your doggies, weather good today, well here anyway.

My 1-2-1 yoga was cancelled yesterday as her dad's been rushed to hospital. The parents are the same age as me and my 1-2-1 [H&W] are about the same age as my oldest AC. She calls me her yoga mummy, been doing for around 9yrs now, so seen her C & doggie grow up.

Morning everyone.

Arrived about 3.00pm yesterday and we're blown away by the beauty of the countryside and this fabulous Air B&B. Fresh roses in the living room; milk, bottle of wine and homemade scones with jam and cream in the fridge and an immaculate cottage. So pleased we're booking for a week next year and if the friends who want to join us for a break can't manage it, we'll come anyway.

The storm last night was horrendous and despite being very overcast, the view from the living room window is quite spectacular.

Mr. S. lit the fire last night which made it very cosy with the howling winds and lashing rain last night. What is it about men and fire? When we we first married we had an open fire so it's been many years since we'd had one and Mr. S. was very pleased with himself last night and the dogs were fascinated.

Our friend should arrive this afternoon and we're looking forward to spending a few days together.

Great news about your son's new job Yogin. A tough work schedule so I hope he'll enjoy it. You'll be pleased when the work on the upstairs flat's finished. Hope you get a nice neighbour when it's lived in again.

Calmness is a relief after all the drama isn't it Spring.

Hope you get some news about your crafting friend's mum Whiff. The old saying that 'no news is good news' isn't always the case is it. Glad your cold's much better and hope your Covid vaccination yesterday hasn't had any after affects.

Morning all

Very dull here today, looks like it's going to rain but not forecasted to.

My son started his new full-time job this week Whiff, driving a big tanker, he does a 12hr shift or longer and starts at 5am meaning he has to get up at 3.40am, 5day shift for the first week and then 4days-2days off! So, no doggie walking from him. The upstairs flat is being done up, the noise has been bad, but I think it's all but done now, with all the work that's done I take it that it will be put up for sale now. Glad you're feeling better this week after your cold.

Enjoy your trip Smiles hope the weather improves for you.

Love your rambles Whiff! All quiet here, which am thankful for. When you’ve lived through drama it certainly makes you appreciate calm times in your lives. Have a lovely time away Smiles. The change will do you good whatever the weather. I’m with you Allsorts - I too readily clear things out, but then I do enjoy the lack of clutter. Less dusting too!! Hope you’re still enjoying your new coat Whiff. Certainly feeling more wintry here today but will wait as usual until Oct to put the heating on!!

Smiles hope you and Mr S have a good time at Hadrian's wall. Hopefully the weather will be kind to you but either way it will be a nice break for you. Hope you had a good time at choir last night.

Heard nothing more about my craft friends mom Yogin which is worrying. But I am sure she will let us know what happened when she's ready. Joey needs his waterproof coat on in this weather . Hopefully your son has been taking him out so you can keep dry.

What happened about the apartment above you after your neighbour died? I can't remember if you said it was for sale or not .

Allsorts it's only natural to worry about friends dieing as we get older. Bet she feels and worries about you to. None of us know how long we have got so it's up to us to make the best of everyday and live each day to the full. I have definitely turned into my mom as she used to say she was grateful to wake up every morning. That's how I feel. My only fear is getting dementia so do everything I can to keep my mind active. After looking after my mom with it I don't want to put anyone through what I went through. As the last 4 months where hell on earth. Looking back no idea how I did it. But I did it for love .

Finally feeling like my old self this morning. I don't get colds very often but I am a right misery when I do get one. I cope find with my HPX and PAF but a cold floors me. Spent most of the weekend asleep on the sofa. No matter how ill I feel I don't spend all day in bed and I still have to get dressed everyday. Felt so bad Friday did a LFT just to be sure it was a cold. My daughter was lot better on Sunday but yesterday got a cold again and my youngest grandson had got one as well. She said he was very snotty a picture suddenly pop into my of my daughter covered completely in all over in snot. Ask if my son in law had got it she said no as he doesn't get slobbered over. She gets as grumpy as I do when having a cold. Did tell her many years ago as I was turning into my mom she would turn into me she said anything but that 🤣.

Got my Covid jab this morning . Had my flu one last week. Then into the village for some shopping . Mask is going back on today and will be on until the hot weather is back. Mind you it does keep my face warm . 😁.

DiamondLily it's lovely to look forward to June and the invasion. Give you something to look forward to on cool winter days. Time flies very quickly and before you look around they will be here. Hope you are keeping well and taking care of yourself. Hope your horrible step kids have left you alone. As the last thing you need is to put up with them while you are grieving.

Bet you are all relieved it's a shorter ramble 🤣. Take care everyone.

Morning everyone.

Oh yes Yogin moving couldn't have worked out any better.

It's raining here now despite being a lovely sunny morning first thing, but at least it held off until I was back from my singing lesson.

We're off to an Air B&B tomorrow for 4 nights near Hadrian's Wall. Forecast isn't looking too good but it will be good to go somewhere different and our retired vicar and good friend is joining us on Thursday for the lat 3 nights.

Choir starts again tonight, so I was pleased to have got my vocal chords going this morning as this will be our first meeting since the end of August.

Morning all

Sorry to hear about your dear friend Allsorts. That's the problem with getting older, seeing those we love not as able as before.

Whiff sorry to hear about your friend's mum in hospital, fingers crossed she'll be ok.

Smiles that painted such a sad picture, your last day in your family home, but it was such a good move for you both in the end, wasn't it.

DL lovely that you have something nice to look forward to, next June when all your family visit from the USA, so just keep your mind on that to help you through this sad time you're going through now.

Hope everyone is feeling uplifted after the beautiful weather last two days. It’s raining today here though.My hair grows overnight Smileless, I had it cut quite short about five weeks ago but now I can just almost tie it back. For the winter I have decided to let it grow, only touching my shoulder though. It seems a lot having it cut every four weeks but if it’s a style that suits you can understand you have to. As for your sons stuff, perhaps having it with you makes him feel part of the family home. I throw things out easily, then miss what I’ve got rid of.
Are you feeling better Whiff?
Hope you are keeping OK D Lil, you have 10 visitors to plan for now😬 You might need an extra freezer.
Yoga, trust you and little Joey enjoyed these last two days in tge lovely weather.
Met a best friend for lunch yesterday, ,we have been friends all our lives, we had a lovely time but she has become very tired lately, when I got home I cried as we are so close and I dread her not being there. It’s not rational, she’s not ill, it was just a feeling that came over me.

That sad Whiff, hard for S, good job she has group for extra support.

Smiles thank you. Now idea why it's upset me so much. That's the thing about my craft group we become close very quickly and keep in touch daily.

But you are still coping with the grief for S and worry about K. Funny how people came mean so much to us especially as it came out of the blue. A only posted 2 days ago her happy cheery self .

Oh that is sad news Whiff, I am sorry .

Nice day here . And had a lovely time at craft group. But have just received some sad news from one of our group. S and her mom A jointed about 3 months ago . S has let us know her mom's in hospital and expected to pass away very soon. I can't get over how upset I feel at the news . A has rheumatoid arthritis and in a wheelchair S is her mom's carer her dad died 5 years ago. She has an older sister who is married and at least A got to be with her grandson for a year as he was one not long ago and they minded him when her daughter went back to work. They brought him to craft group one week.
😞

Morning everyone.

Moving for us was the best thing we could have done without a doubt Whiff, it's the reason we had to move which still hurts and always will.

We have today which is a welcome relief after yesterday's down pours. The rotten weather did have an upside though as after nearly two years when we took up the carpet in the store room in our basement, due to water coming in because of the sink hole and damaged drain outside our house, we've put it back down.

My plan for this year was to have a good declutter of every room in the house. The store room was the last and it feels good to have finished.

Five boxes of console games and empty boxes, three art portfolios (which are surprisingly heavy) and three air rifles all belonging to DS take up almost as much room as our own stuff. At some point DS's going to have to decide what he wants to do with it all because if and when we downsize, we wont be taking it with us.

I think he's forgotten just how much of his stuff we have here, so the next time we chat we'll be reminding him. It would be expensive to ship it out to Aus., and I doubt the air rifles could be sent anyway, so at some point he's got some decisions to make.

Off to the hairdresser this afternoon, thank goodness as my hair's a mess. Wearing it short it needs cutting every 4 weeks and I postponed last weeks appointment because we were away. Wont be doing that again.

Funny enough Smiles when I left my old house didn't shed a tear or even looked back. I was just glad to finally leave to live the life I wanted . Even with the estrangement from my son he's choice . I am happier than I have been since my husband was alive. I miss him deeply and the grief and love I feel is with me daily . But so many good things have happened in my 4 years here it's erased all the bad years and deaths in my old house.

Both my husband and mom died there . My dad at their house which my brother and I where glad to sell . And my mother in law in hospital

I remember sitting in the children's rooms after they left home on my really day days but it wasn't so much missing them as missing my husband and not having a life of my own because having both parents and mother in law dependant on me.

Until I moved here I couldn't fulfill the main thing my husband made me promise and that was to live the best life I could. But I do everyday here.

All the good things I have now far outweigh what my son has done and not see my 3 grandson's.

Until I moved here I hardly slept . Now as soon as my head hits the pillow I sleep even nightly visits to the loo I get straight back to sleep.

Moving for me was the best thing I could have ever done.

Life is odd isn't it. So there we both were at lunch time, laughing at Mr. S.'s culinary expertise to both be in tears late afternoon.

Do any of you remember 'Upstairs Downstairs'? Well I have the box set on DVD which we've been watching and the end of the very last episode shows Rose walking though the empty house and remembering the past.

It reminded us both of the day we left our previous home where we'd raised our boys and how heartbreaking it was. I stood in the bedroom that used to be ES's sons, crying and wondering how on earth had it come to this.

Oooh I'd better not tell Mr. S. about Mr. W's crispy roasts and perfect Yorkshire puds Whiff, not so soon after his culinary masterpiece with spaghetti on toast . He is the BBQ King though, although I'll have to wait until next year for the next one.

Hope your DD relieves you of the contents of your freezer DL. How wonderful that your son and family have booked flights from America for next June.

Howling winds and rain here in "not so sunny" London.

I stayed in watching crap TV.

I'm currently sorting out a big freezer - DH believed in stocking up in case....Brexit, Covid, Ukraine etc lol

I want to get rid of it, a neighbour wants it, so all good. I've been giving away some of the food.

I've saved some stuff the DD will use but I want her to take it now - I don't want this freezer here, as I want to sort out the spare room.

She's moaning, but up to her. She needs to take this stuff. 😉

DS phoned from America to tell me that 10 of them (😳) have booked flights, hotels to come over next June. Jeez, I hope I've got more energy by then lol

Other than that, a quiet day. 👍

Poor Mr S😁. My husband tried to cook rice once. I was ill in bed and the kids came up and said dad has done something weird to the rice. He had boiled it for 45 mins and it looked like wallpaper paste. He didn't try to cook rice again. But his York puds where always perfect, and his roast spuds crunchy on the outside and fluffy in the middle. The only cake he could make was cut and come again cake. That's what I love about this thread someone writes something and it brings back fond memories . Thank you Smiles.

Only the bottoms of my trousers got wet today. Brought a winter hat from Peacocks splashed out £10. And ordered a table top ironing board as my ironing board is to heavy for me now. Going made with my back pay 🤣

Thank you 😘😘

Afternoon everyone.

I could barely eat my lunch today for laughing. A bowling buddy of Mr. S.'s who could talk for England bless him 'phoned up, just as Mr. S. was doing spaghetti on toast for our lunch. In order to get him off the 'phone he said 'I'll have to go as I'm cooking lunch', I burst out laughing and his buddy probably thinks Mr. S. is an expert in the kitchen .

Horrid here today too Yogin. Our dogs get their morning walk but it's not looking good for later although it has actually stopped raining ........ for now.

I've just read out my post to him and he's feigned being hurt and said lunch was a culinary masterpiece!!!

Well, you certainly need that long waterproof coat on today Whiff, really horrid here. I always look forward to taking little Joey walkies in the park, but think I'll have a nice coffee first today!

alovelycupofteaa

Hi everyone - some of you may remember that I posted a while ago about our situation & was going for lunch with my son & his family, with my daughter as ‘chaperone’ . I’m a bit nervous about posting this as I really don’t want to cause anyone any further sadness, but I just wanted to let people who were so kind know that it went really well and we were even able to correct a few misunderstandings with them. I took a completely different approach with them all to how I acted before (which was too interfering & too presumptuous), and I think they noticed the difference & appreciated the work I have done to get to that point. I definitely ate some humble pie but, to be honest, I recognise that I needed to. Since then, we have been invited to a Gender Reveal party for the new baby and are going to babysit for them the night before whilst they go out for dinner!! It’s very early days, but I just wanted to update people who were so kind and took the time to welcome me here.

I'm so very pleased for you. Enjoy the gender reveal party & the babysitting. Sounds like all will be well for the future, well done. x

alovelycupofftea glad to hear your good news. 💐.

Went to my UC health assessment yesterday. The woman who did it was very nice but no idea how it went answered all her questions. She only move up here from London 2 years ago and can't get over how different the people are here . Like me she has found people kind and warm hearted. She loves it up here. Went in by taxi as it was by the Mersey still went into the wrong building but a work man soon showed me where to go. There was an underground train station over the road so came home via underground/ overground train then bus home. Glad to see my Seasalt winter waterproof had come . So wearing it today as I need to go shopping . Took a photo of the length to show my daughter she laughed and said she loves oldies taking selfies 🤣. Hence the photo above.

Very wet here today but that doesn't stop me going out. Baking for my craft group tomorrow. Think I will make biscuits as made cake last time.

Have a good day everyone.

Thank you all so much 🙏🏼

Oh that is good news alovelycupoftea and thank you for letting us know how things are going. We do love a ' happy ending' .

alovelycupoftea how great for you and well done too!