Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life

Hi all,
Just a little update as feeling very sad today.
I’m trying to be positive but guess it’s just one of those days. I wanted to share in a safe space.

Since my D’s wedding. I had one message to say Thank you and Thank you for coming. I’d contacted her again to wish them a wonderful honeymoon. She didn’t read that until I think she got home, I’d sent another message to say hope they had a wonderful time. But nothing back. I feel I’ve been cancelled again. I feel so hurt. I’m pleased I saw her get married, and followed her rules, but now just feel so shunned again as not being worthy to keep in touch with.

What I have learnt though is that I don’t fit her idea of family going forward. She prefers her Dads and his Dads families. So guess I just have to accept this and move forward.

It’s so upsetting, but I’m not going back to chasing her. She knows I wanted to catch up and just have a chat.

I think when they show you that you are not worth their time. The best thing we can do is self preservation. Don’t let them hurt us anymore.

Happy Sunday to you all.

Hi I’m new to Gransnet but also affected by estrangement from my D & GD since I split from her dad!
It has only been a few months but such a shock i never thought she would do this to me we always seemed so close!

Smiles glad you got to see and speak your lovely girl. That's how I will think of them as you always talked about your lovely girls and meals you and Mr S had with them and how the greeted you when you moved in.

She's a hard journey ahead of her and life will never be the same but with the love of family and friends she will face everyday as it comes. Glad to hear she doesn't want to move. But she knows you and Mr S as there for her no matter what she needs.

My daughter and grandson's came round this afternoon. I had put weedkiller on my drive beginning of the week but didn't do anything. In her words I've come to do your drive. It spoils you front garden. I said I do the best I can. She said it wasn't criticism but she knows I can't bend down that far without risking a fall and anyway it will only take her 30 mins to do . Her eldest helped while I played Choo Choo trains inside with the little one. Most of the plants where oregano. I planted some in the front garden 2 years ago as the bees love and it had seeded the drive between the bricks. She said it smelt lovely getting them up.

I worry about the amount of things she does for me. Unfortunately the list of things I am finding difficult is starting to get longer. But I don't get down about it . Mind you so glad I had the occupational therapist come in. Don't know how I ever managed without my bed bar. Didn't realise how much of a struggle it was to get in. Knew getting out was taking longer and my pressure cushion eases the pain in my legs . Funny how much different 2 things have helped such a lot. Rachael the OT phoned in the weekend to see how I was getting on.

But I have just found more inventive ways to do things. So it's life as usual.

Take care everyone. Need to get out of bed as having a lazy morning but need to get into the shower . 😊

Morning everyone.

We saw her when we got home on Thursday; long hugs and many tears.

I kept crying as we were driving home on Thursday, and the nearer we got to home, the worse it felt knowing that we'd never see her again.

She's doing incredibly well, getting everything organised and decided not to sell the house because we can keep an eye on it for her and she doesn't want to sever all contact with where we live and she said with us, which really touched our hearts .

Hope you're feeling a little better Allsorts x.

Smiles have you seen your neighbour since you got back ? Poor girl's world has ended in a flash. But even though all she wants to grief for her lost love there is always so much to do after a death. But with her family ,friends and you and Mr S at least she will be supported and loved. 🌹

So vey sorry your lovely girl that meant so much to you both has died. Her partner and family must be devastated. The joy she bought in to people's lives will always be there. I can never understand why the young and good have to go, yet evil people seem to go on for ever. I feel upset as it's just so unfair so you look after yourselves.
Sorry not been contributin but having Covid my attention span has been very short.
Lovely Whiff was so young too when her beloved husband died.

I meant to answer to Nanalouise.

No worries Buffy.

SORRY - ANSWERED WRONG THREAD.

Sorry to sound like a horrible, negative person but I would have to ask myself why now?
I have a horrible feeling you are going to be ‘dropped’ again when you refuse to help with her trip money.
Let’s hope I’m totally wrong!!

Thank you Yogin, Justbe and Madgran. Still trying to process what's happened.

We're going home tomorrow and hope to see her if she's back for the day if only to wrap our arms around her.

Smileless so sorry to hear this.

Sending condolences 💐 to you Smiles. How sad and such a young age. Big (((hugs))) take time to process it all. Will be such a shock for you all that were close to her. Xx

Oh Smiles . I feel chocked, and I didn't even know them/her, so very sad.

Thank you everyone. Yes, they were 'our girls' and brought so much love and joy into our lives when we moved, at a time when we needed it the most.

They had a filthy sense of humour, and I remember the first time they came for a meal, within 10 minutes they were simply themselves and we laughed so much that when they left, our stomachs ached. I looked at Mr. S. and said 'what on earth was that'!!! That was it, we became in some ways the most unlikely group of friends with our special table at the Chinese restaurant which was always reserved for us whenever we booked.

It was horrible waking up this morning and 'remembering' that she's gone. They were staying with K's parents, thank goodness she's with them. I don't yet know when she'll be coming back, we're due to go home on Thursday but will go before if she needs us too, but I'm sure her mum and dad will be coming back with her.

It's going to be simply awful for her walking back into their house, that poor girl, my heart is breaking for her.

It's like a bad dream.

OMG Smiles what a horrible shock for you & Mr.S.
I thought as she was so young that she had a good chance of a full recovery, never thought she would die so quickly, her poor partner & parents & all her family and friends, they must all be in total disbelief & shock!

Really so sorry to hear this news, I know it would have upset you a lot. We never know what's just round the corner for us do we. Take care Smiles xxx

Oh Smiles what a terrible thing to happen to your girl next door, only 40yrs too young to have a stroke! If she was taken swiftly to A&E, they have a clot busting drug which if administer immediately would leave her in the same health as she was before. I will have her in my prayers tonight.

My mum had a stroke, she was in her late 70s, but she totally recovered from that, memory not as good. but she then went on to have further strokes which left her with vascular dementia, she was then in her 80s.

Smileless - sorry to hear she's gone. It's awful at that age.

But, I'm sure you and Mr S will give the "survivor" lots of support. There's not really anything much anyone can do, but the support helps x

Thoughts with all. 💐

Smiles it's so unfair the young good people die young and the wicked horrible people live a long life.

It's not much comfort to all who loved her and she loved. But she touch their hearts and she will be forever with them . Loss of the other half of you is something you never get over. But the girls had that love for eachother and completed eachother. They made a whole. Some people live their whole lives and never find the one person in the world that is theirs . They had eachother and that kind of love never dies. But if like me she will never be whole again . They say time heals but in my experience it doesn't you just learn to cope. But it takes years. Grief still overwhelms me at time even after 19.5 years.

I hope she talks to her partner everyday out loud it does help and if she wants to cry,scream ,shout or hit a pillow I hope she does. As I would hate her to try and be brave like I did and the only person I hurt was me.

My thoughts are with all who loved her and who love her partner. 🌹💞

Such a tragic unexpected loss, so sorry Smileless on the loss of your dear friend x

Whiff - my sweet grandson is in a better mood now. You see, he had failed his degree and I made things worse by being a bit cross with him for spending too much time on the golf course and less time on his books. He is going to resit, but as someone said, there’s worse things to worry about and hearing dear Smileless ‘s sad news puts everything into perspective.

So sorry to hear this Smileless. You've always spoken of your girls with such affection. What a terrible loss

Oh Smileless - you’ve spoken of your girls so often. They meant a lot to you and Mr S . I am so so sorry to hear the sad news. I have no words, adequate enough to comfort you . Too young - hope your faith will give you strength

So very sorry to hear this Smileless. Never easy to lose a good friend, especially when it’s so unexpected. Sending love.

She's gone. One of the sweetest, kindest and most generous people I've ever met. She had golden hair and a heart of gold to match.