Engagement

Difficult for you . My two adult kids haven't spoken for over 6 years . Both totally disinterested in each other.

Broke my heart but nothing I can do anymore 💔

I have a friend whose two middle aged children have not communicated or seen each other for many years. It’s really awkward for her, but she sees them both, separately. She’s over 80 and ill now and I wonder what will happen as time goes by.

I would not say anything. It’s not your news to pass on but I sympathise with your situation.

If they wish to keep apart, they have a right to do so. I’m not sure why what you want trumps the expressed desires of your adult offspring. Sons and daughters are their own people when they become adults. Hard as it is, try not to manage their lives and relationships. Not with each other or anyone else.

I am inclined to think as you do Keeping quiet.

My children don't communicate very much either. I still discuss what each sibling does or doesn't do however, because I am a parent to both of them. It isn't triangulation, it is being part of a family that even though the bonds seem tenuous at times, is still important to me.
When my son got engaged many years ago I can't recall if I told his sister or not, but she did come to the wedding and was present on that important day.
It is hard work keeping this particular show on the road, but the rewards are there if you keep trying.
Not passing on information is a sure way to keep them apart and yourself equally frustrated it seems to me.

Not yours to tell.

Why would you tell another persons news?

I would find it hard not to pass the news on to him on as if I didn’t and he found out he would say why didn’t you tell me. What happens if she marries, has a baby, or anything major occurred would you keep that to yourself? I can’t see how a daughter would stop talking to her mom because of that unless waiting for an excuse not to. However others feel different to me perhaps they are right. Another way might be would be to ask the question, do you prefer me not to tell you anything about your brother, if she says no that’s fine you’re not hiding anything.

It's between them . So don't say anything otherwise you risk your relationship with your daughter. And you do not want her to stop talking to you .

Definitely don't pass on this news, hard as it is

Say nothing. Don't ask you D if she's going to tell her brother or if it's OK for you to tell him.

Not your news to communicate, do not triangulate

It is up to your daughter to tell her brother - if she wants to - they are both adults and they own the status of their relationship

Your role of "parents" has nothing to do here

Ask your daughter what she wants to do - she tell him, you tell him or say nothing.

I'd ask her if it's OK to let her brother know.If she says not, then don't but probably she won't mind him knowing?

I'd keep out of it personally, let her tell him or not as she pleases.