Estrangers and their 'entitled' expectations

If you aren't planning on spending it before you die leave your money to whoever you like. Family whether estranged or not should not have an expectation that they will receive. They should be managing their own finances not relying on an inheritance. So many worthy charities that desperately need funds. Leave it to them instead.

Glad your mind is at rest Sarah. Why people should contest a will when they had no interest in the person is beyond me.

MissAdventure

Yes, as every situation and the people in it are different.

Everyone should do what they decide is best for their own well being and peace of mind.

Exactly.

If people want to estrange someone, and they are comfortable with that, then fine.

If someone estranged wishes their Will to reflect the estrangement, then that’s also fine.

Inheritances are a gift - not some form of personal entitlement.🙄

Every estrangement is different - one size doesn’t fit all. 🤷‍♀️

No but if abuse has damaged your mental health, your education, your confidence... It would simply be compensation

Perhaps, but I could never understand why anyone would wish to inherit from the one(s) they estranged and money is no substitute for love or consolation for abuse.

Not for me personally

But maybe someone who was abused by the parents who brought them into the world would be justified to believe they deserved an inheritance and I would never hold that against them

It's good that you no longer need to worry about it Sara.

Each person does what brings them peace of mind, in their particular circumstance, without having to explain to anybody else. Spot on MissA.

I wouldn't expect you to explain, sassysayso, and I don't feel that you're entitled or grabby.

After needlessly going all around the houses, we are back to the original point.

Each person does what brings them peace of mind, in their particular circumstance, without having to explain to anybody else.

The only thing that actually concerned me regarding my mothers money, was that she might leave me something and that would put me in a very awkward situation
I am now 100% sure that’s not going to happen, and I’m very glad.

That's a good point Madgran.

JaneJudge

a lot of estrangements are to do with abuse from either a parent or a child. I don't think money is a factor at all for most people

Money is a huge factor if financial abuse has caused the Estrangement and certainly influences any decisions re wills for the person who has been financially abused.

Smileless I don't understand why you would but ok

Expect what they want they will not get. Simple. Well said Smileless.

I have explained to you that your post about kindness suggested to me that the OP, the original post was unkind VS and I stand by that.

I'm more than happy to move forward.

We have no way of knowing what we may or may not regret when our time comes. Someone who disinherited the one who estranged them may regret it, someone who estranged may regret their decision.

Smileless2012

I have no idea what your point is VS or why you felt the need to refer to kindness when there hasn't been any unkindness, just disagreement. Saying it would be a kindness ..... in relation to the OP suggests that the OP is in someway unkind.

Of course we can disagree with what people say, you and I disagree with what one another say all the time.

A kindness

This is a favour or a means to help someone with something

It doesn't suggest anything else, I have now clarified this to you twice that I haven't called anyone unkind so I would appreciate if you could acknowledge that so we can move forward

MissAdventure

sassysayso feels that depriving someone of an inheritance means a chance lost to prove that the child is loved.

She speaks of people on their deathbeds who may well regret not leaving anything.

I certainly had no expectation or feelings of entitlement that I was due an inheritance.

Regarding the second point, I could discuss this further but it is very personal and private and don't wish to elaborate.

I have no idea what your point is VS or why you felt the need to refer to kindness when there hasn't been any unkindness, just disagreement. Saying it would be a kindness ..... in relation to the OP suggests that the OP is in someway unkind.

Of course we can disagree with what people say, you and I disagree with what one another say all the time.

Smileless we cannot disagree with what people actually said

I said it would be a kindness and I haven't called anyone unkind

We have a lot of new posters recently so they may not know this is a shared space posting, it's quite unusual but also I think, something to be treasured and those of us who have posted here for years together should be able to look out for eachother in that sense and ensure people know all are welcome here and the support thread

Everyone knows there are both EP's and EAC on this forum VS.

This isn't a tough subject for me and my estrangement status has nothing to do with issues or disagreements. The subject matter itself is an issue ie an important topic or problem for debate and discussion, and disagreeing with other people's point of view is the nature of discussion and debate.

We took the decision to disinherit our ES sometime ago and are more than comfortable with what we have done.

Sorry I have no idea what you mean, VS is what Smileless calls me (I do really prefer my name Violet) so I was responding to the part that was to me MissA

What on earth do you mean?
Do what you feel is right for you hardly warrants your response, violet

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Smileless

Estranged children not on this forum do not count when I am asking that someone is mindful there are estranged children here

I have not said anyone was unkind. I said it would be a kindness to remember this is a shared space...

Let's keep this a positive thread, I understand this is a tough subject for you but we don't need to let that become an issue or a disagreement

Yes, as every situation and the people in it are different.

Everyone should do what they decide is best for their own well being and peace of mind.

There have been examples on GN from a relative of an EAC expecting to inherit, and from relatives of those who were very low contact with the family member now deceased expecting to be acknowledged in the will..

There is nothing unkind if that's what you're suggesting, about the OP VS. It does happen and those who are estranged and have stated they would not want to be a beneficiary have been heard.

Damned if you do and damned if you don't springs to mind MissA. I've seen posts in the past suggesting that leaving an inheritance is akin to a 'guilt trip' and 'control' and that not doing so is a final act of anger, revenge and/or spite and tells the EAC they were never loved.

Best to do what you are comfortable with.