Gransnet forums

Estrangement

Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

(1000 Posts)
Smileless2012 Sat 04-Jan-25 10:59:10

Just as we know the pain and anguish that words of anger, bitterness and sometimes hate can cause, we also know the power of words to comfort, support, understand and sometimes help to heal.

This is and always has been the reason for this support thread, it's why it was started so long ago and why it continues. The fact that true friendships are made as regular posters share much of their lives with one another, good and bad, is a wonderful bonus there for all who continue to post and for new comers too.

Smileless2012 Mon 31-Mar-25 08:47:43

Keeping Mr. B. and you all in my prayers Babs flowers xx

Babs03 Mon 31-Mar-25 06:47:21

A heartfelt thanks to everyone for such kind wishes. Mr B still critical, so touch and go.
They can’t give him blood thinners for clots because of a bleed on the brain so the chance of another stroke is high. Still mostly unresponsive.
Will pop in on the thread when I can.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🌺🌺

imaround Mon 31-Mar-25 01:16:04

Popping over from Politics to tell Babs I am thinking of her and praying for quick healing.

Bridie22 Sun 30-Mar-25 12:46:09

Wishing you all a happy Mother's day, a title they can't take away from us!
Special hugs to Babs at this difficult time, and thank you to all of you for your continual support. ❤️

Allsorts Sun 30-Mar-25 10:39:28

Yoga thank you for letting us know about Mr B, nothing now seems very important, I know just how awful it is for them. I will pray for them all.
To everyone on the forum lets be glad for what we have and I hope you have a good day, its certainly a perfect spring one.,

Whiff Sun 30-Mar-25 09:07:26

Second that Yogin happy mother's day. No matter how much our children don't want us we are still and will always be their mom even after we are long dead. Dare I an evil cackle . 😂

Spring20 Sun 30-Mar-25 08:37:52

Love to all on what can be a difficult day, for many folk, not only those with EAC. Hope you can do something nice for yourself if not celebrating with others. E doesn’t define us! 💐

Yoginimeisje Sun 30-Mar-25 08:29:56

flowers HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE flowers

Portrait Sun 30-Mar-25 02:53:17

Will continue to pray for Mr. B and you Babs. Stay strong. So sorry that you both are going through this.

Whiff Sat 29-Mar-25 07:06:39

Babs he is a fighter and with you by his side he won't give up . Plus you have the support of your family. But please make sure you look after yourself. Make sure you have plenty of drinks and eat. He will need you more than ever to go through what comes next and his recovery . 🌹💝

Babs03 Sat 29-Mar-25 05:43:49

Thanks to everyone. Please continue to pray and hold Mr B in your thoughts. He is hanging in there.
Will keep you posted when I can.
Your support is so appreciated right now 🙏🏾🌺

Luminance Fri 28-Mar-25 16:05:27

Babs03 wishing your husband a good recovery, please do take care of yourself too.

Portrait Fri 28-Mar-25 14:20:13

Yogin and Whiff please let Babs know I am sending her and her husband prayers and healing thoughts.

Spring20 Fri 28-Mar-25 12:21:17

Like everyone else thinking of Babs at this difficult time and sending love 💐

Whiff Fri 28-Mar-25 09:53:50

I have just sent an email to Babs . At least she has the family with her and her husband is a fighter. Told her to talk to him if his unconscious as he will hear. Hopefully they can operate and and relieve the bleed .

My brother has a stent in his brain because a piece of metalwork fell off his lorry and caused a bleed on the brain . They stopped the bleeding and removed a clot but put the stent in to stop the artery from collapsing on blood thinners for life .

You would much rather have something happen to you than someone you love especially if it's your other half of yourself. 🌹

Karen1960 Fri 28-Mar-25 09:47:49

Hi Everyone I have just joined today and just finding my way around the site.

Bridie22 Fri 28-Mar-25 08:46:25

Sending you hugs Babs03❤️

Yoginimeisje Fri 28-Mar-25 08:35:42

Good post Smiles

I agree with you Spring

Big gang of Magpies in my garden angry. Sent Joey out to sort them out grin.

Smileless2012 Fri 28-Mar-25 08:30:13

On no shock thank you for letting us know Yogin.

You will all be in my prayers Babs flowers xx

Yoginimeisje Fri 28-Mar-25 08:27:47

Oh Birdie, you are not a bad person, everyone on here says the same; that they don't know what they did to cause this and that's because they didn't do anything, it was the estranging AC that did the destroying!

I've said before; yes I have definitely changed as a person. Used to always be laughing and dancing, after the estrangement that all stopped. Better now, after 12yrs, but I definitely feel deferent inside.

Feeling upset for Babs

Yoginimeisje Fri 28-Mar-25 08:11:32

Morning all

Upsetting news, I'm afraid. Babs will not be around for a while as her DH has had a stroke and now has a subdural bleed on the brain. Her DDs are with them. I told her I will pray for a good outcome, but she has said it's not looking good. I feel awful for her.

Spring20 Fri 28-Mar-25 07:47:43

As Smiles says unless it’s your lived experience it’s almost impossible to understand estrangement. I’d also add there can be a place for forgiveness….a willingness to accept the other as flawed, and even so continue in a relationship with them (unless abuse is ongoing). Without forgiveness there is no mending. It’s a 2way process.

Smileless2012 Thu 27-Mar-25 23:07:04

Sometimes answers can be found by sharing with others who have personal experience of estrangement Luminance, but it's support and understanding that brings those whose lives have been affected by estrangement to this thread.

Seeing two hurt people who cannot let go of each other for different reasons within your own family, isn't the same as a personal experience of being estranged or taking the decision to do so.

Moving forward doesn't mean that you ever stop looking for the reasons why.

Luminance Thu 27-Mar-25 22:34:14

I think perhaps at times it is just better to put these relationships to bed. When I look at my own family situation I see two hurt people who cannot let go of each other for different reasons. They should. The truth and the reasons must be found in their own self because otherwise how would anything change or any attempt to mend a relationship between them be successful? The answers cannot be found from an estranged other at all not from their estranged child or the experiences of others. Those things are not comparable and never generalised. The decision must be made to look harder within or stop looking and move forward.

Bridie22 Thu 27-Mar-25 17:22:14

I am very aware now when speaking to people, scared I will say the wrong thing and cause upset.
I have lost confidence in myself as a person, as I don't know what caused my estrangement, I think I must be a bad person... how could I hurt people I love, causing them to estrange from me... did I really cause that ?
I get very over emotional at times and find myself happier alone.

This discussion thread has reached a 1000 message limit, and so cannot accept new messages.
Start a new discussion