Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Best of luck with your sale Babs. We had a bridging load on the first property we bought here in the UK, whilst we lived in Africa. It was for 6months, I worked that 6mnths till it was paid off, having just had my first baby & working real nights; 8pm-6am, I found it terribly hard. Couldn't sleep as could hear my baby and the nannie, worked 3 nights over the weekend and it took me the rest of the week to recover!

Whiff in Holland, were I lived for 7yrs, cake was a normal breakfast.

Smiles Well done on your furniture painting, glad to hear it all turned out good.

See you later Babs xx

Nana49

Thank you, my df has completely lost capacity at this point, but I am still sending him postcards regularly hopefully he'll know I'm thinking about him.
We are so looking forward to moving house, we're all packed!!

I am sure that if your df is able to at this point he will get a great deal of comfort from your postcards. You are doing all you can in a very difficult situation to show him that he is much loved and in your thoughts.
The onus isn’t on you here but those preventing you from being there for him at this time.
Looking forward to the move will keep you focused on better times ahead.
We feel the same.
Take care
🌺🙏🏾

We've had two onward purchases fail, the first was definitely down to the estate agent leading us to believe that the sellers would agree to something they wouldn't & the last one the sellers pulled out. We've gone for another house but I feel your pain we've had enough of dealing with agents & solicitors!

Thank you, my df has completely lost capacity at this point, but I am still sending him postcards regularly hopefully he'll know I'm thinking about him.
We are so looking forward to moving house, we're all packed!!

Your story about your Mom’s mandarins made me laugh Whiff! We’ve had the do we/ don’t we move debate for 3 years now. A fresh start does appeal but we’ve decided to wait another 5 years and then make just the one move into accommodation that will hopefully ‘see us out’ - my new go to phrase! Interesting to see Call the Midwife incorporating 2 stories of estrangement last night. Not exactly relevant to our situations but even so a reminder such family breakdowns have always existed. Just not named as such.

Thanks Smiles, yes chains are so frustrating and we definitely won’t resort to a bridging loan unless we absolutely have to, am praying it won’t come to that.
Am hoping that all our ducks will be in a row this time. But at the same time preparing for the worst.
So sick of estate agents and solicitors, they really are a breed apart 🙄
Take care all and enjoy the slightly better weather if you are having more spring like days. Nights are getting lighter 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Morning everyone.

Chains are the most worrying thing when it comes to moving Babs and unavoidable unless you're a first time buyer, buying a new build. There were only 3 in ours and we moved into our lodge 2 months before we finally completed but it still felt as if it was taking forever .

I'm with you as far as 'feel good mantra's' go, especially when they've been stencilled onto internal walls. Do think very carefully about taking out a bridging loan. I don't want to be a party pooper but my f.i.l. did this years ago and the sale of their property fell through at literally the last minute. It took some time for the property to eventually sell, and cost him a lot of money.

Everything crossed that it will all go through smoothly.

I finished painting our unit and even if I do say so myself, it looks really good so was worth the effort. Just as well I bought two tins of the furniture paint. I didn't think I'd need the second one but I did.

Just imagine how frustrating it would have been to run out!!!

Thankfully we no longer have to pay a mortgage on our house, is ours outright, so the Halifax is happy to play ball.
🙏🏾

Correction just hoping we have done enough

Good point Whiff. As far as I know the buyers are ok with being in the chain. But we have a contingency plan. Went to Halifax and would have no problem getting a bridging loan I think it is called to pay for the property, which we can pay back - with interest of course - once the sale goes through.
We want to cover all bases this time but still know things can go wrong. Just hoping we have fine enough 🙏🏾🤞

Babs are the people who are buying your house willing to wait until summer/ autumn to move into your house and if they have a buyer are they willing to wait that long ? If you don't know you need to know now as summer / autumn is a long way off. And sad to say they may not want to wait that long .

@Whiff your baking sounds heavenly, and lemon drizzle is one of my favourites.
Wish I could eat cake for brekkie but I need to shed some weight, my clothes are getting tighter and I can’t afford a new wardrobe so am trying to cut back. Is weetabix for beakfast, no sugar, with natural yogurt and fruit.
Probs won’t move till late summer/autumn, the people we are buying the bungalow off are in an incomplete chain. 🤞
So more meet ups Yogi 😀
@Smiles, painting anything is risky, but I always think you can’t tell until the coat of paint is dry. Quite often wet paint looks dodgy. Luckily the bungalow we are moving to doesn’t need much work, will need to paint a couple of walls though, the owners have stencilled on writing, feel good mantras like live, laugh, love. I know some people love this, but am not that kind of person. I like plastered walls painted plainly but with nice pictures hung upon them.
Take care all
🙏🏾❤️

Good afternoon everyone.

Despite being an extremely venture to undertake Nana, I'm sure you'll find it worth it. The beginning of a new chapter in your life sounds like just what you need.

As you say exciting times ahead so do keep us posted with how things are going .

You're spot on Babs. As sad as it is to accept that this is how things are and there's nothing you can do about it, that is when you start to move forward and rebuild your life. It isn't easy as we can all attest too but what I think the regulars on this thread also show is that there is life after estrangement.

Oooh love the sound of that lemon drizzle cake Whiff.

Have any of you ever started a job and wished you hadn't? That's been me this morning as I began re painting a small unit we bought with us which was cream and I wanted it to be blue.

Half way through the first coat I was beginning to wish I hadn't started but now the first coat is on I can see it really was a good idea, well it will have been when I get the second coat on and it's finished.

Raining here so nothing else to do anyway.

My mom used to have cake for breakfast some mornings and my daughter said I will be glad when I am older and can have cake for breakfast. Mom loved mandarins and used to put some on her rice Krispies . But she had IBS so to get rid of the acid she used to cook them in my dad's homemade wine . She went for her over 75's check one morning and the nurse asked her if she drank mom said yes just a glass of home made wine at night. Well though the course of the check up she asked Mom 3 times about her alcohol consumption.

Mom said I don't know why she asked so much. I said did you have rice Krispies with mandarins for breakfast. Of course she had ,and she saw the nurse at 8.30 and must have smelt of alcohol as dad's wine was strong . 😂

Mmm Whiff, I could just eat a piece of your lemon drizzle cake for breakfast, sounds lovely 🍰

Smiles my hybrid lemon marmalade drizzle cake when down well . I made 2 sorts one with gluten free flour incase someone was gluten free and 2 were. So no one missed out. The group is limited to 20 so know how much to make . Always pack the pieces in bags so people can take them home .Name down for next month . Had some lovely comments about my cakes on our Facebook group.

Moving gives you a new start I know my life started to be the life I wanted and needed with my move . Even my son's estrangement after moving closer to both my children and families. Hasn't damped my love of my new home and new life . If he thought it would help has failed big time .

Sorry Yogin and Babs you won't be able to have your meet ups . But there is email and WhatsApp face time .

It's funny how something as awful as estrangement has made this group into a group of friends who support eachother no matter what is going on in our lives .

Babs hope Mr B being to feel some improvement in a few days . Having injections into already painful limbs and if they had to go between joints causes trauma to your body and you need time to heal. Plus some injections take time to start working .

Moving in is stressful but for me it was what I needed . Love my life here and the positives out way the only negative my son dumping not just me but our side of the family.

My brother and sister in law moving changed their lives as well and like me moved to a bungalow and have better healthcare. Because we are happy with our moves it can expand your life span .

Nana and Babs your moves will be an exciting new adventure and hopefully like me do things I never thought I would . And had good travel links and better healthcare . And things you can join and new friends to make .
😊🏡

@Nana49, I think a move really helps. We are hoping to move soon to a totally different area. A new chapter. A chance to close one door and open another. We need it. And I am sure you need it too.
When you get to the stage when it feels sort of finished is usually because you are now accepting the situation inasmuch as you realise you can’t change anything. That might sound like a bad thing but is actually a good thing because you are ready to start living your life the best you can.
Is very sad about your DF, obvs tricky to say go no contact right now and if you can see him then my advice would be to do so, but your call, and am sure he knows the situation you are in.
All the best 🌺🙏🏾

@whiff thank you, it's very difficult when you're in the middle of it isn't it? Hard to imagine life outside of it, but I can see what a dysfunctional family I've come from. It's a sad ending for my df, he wouldn't want any of this though I know he wouldn't.
Feels sort of finished though.
We're currently moving house which is going to be different, happened very quickly & we're moving areas really looking forward to the change.

Exciting times ahead!!

Correction ‘am afraid it will mean…

Hello all,
What a beautiful mild day it was today. Felt like spring here, even though it started off rainy and a bit miserable. Had a nice walk, Mr B still not feeling great but came along for the fresh air.
Yes Yogi and afraid it will mean an end to our lovely chats in the cafe. Tbh when I came on GN I saw the forum for meet ups and thought that wasn’t for me, I still feel like that but is different meeting up with someone on here, and am so glad I did it 😀
Am thrilled about how things are going with the sale Smiles but again we are up to our ears in paperwork for the solicitors. Still if it goes through this time will all be worth it.
Taken a few bags and boxes to local charity shops but so much more to do.
Hope we get to see more of your new craft work Whiff and you home baked goodies.
I wonder if word gets around about your baking and new members are recruited on the strength of it 😋

Hello everyone.

Good to hear that you've settled into your new craft group Whiff . Just wait until you start taking your fabulous baking in!!!

Oooh Babs 'sold subject to contract', you muse be thrilled. How's the de cluttering going? I hope Mr. B's cooperating .

Oh yes Yogin I hadn't thought of that .

Babs fingers crossed that all goes through quickly for your house sell and purchase. But then no more coffee meet ups in the park

Whiff your new craft group sounds great and I'm sure you will be a favourite with all your lovely homemade cakes.

Evening all.
Thanx Whiff, Mr B is indeed feeling less pain in his shoulder and arm after his injections, though he has the dreaded lurgy now so is swings and roundabouts. Physio talked about Naproxene for 8/12 hours pain relief after the injections wear off.
This really isn't a doom and gloom thread, obvs there are down times when one or other of us needs support, and that is what I love about this thread, you can dip in and out for a laugh, advice, a catch up on what others are doing - if you are nosey like me you will enjoy this, or to have a good old whinge or to reach out for a shoulder.
Anyway, no more info on the house/bungalow, lots of solicitor stuff on the go again, and nice to see the bungalow we want with STC on it now.
Take care all
xxxx

Nana49 here is a safe place and you can talk about you want it's not a doom and gloom thread .While we are going through estrangement we can still live our lives to the full. Those that estrange us what us to be miserable but finding happiness is a kind of could say revenge but that's the wrong word as I don't feel vengeful . In do want my son and his family to be happy . But I am happy with my life so if he wanted me to miserable he failed big time.

Babs hope Mr B got on well at the hospital and he will be in less pain and able to get a good night's sleep. And you are feelings better and soon back to your old self.

Talk of not having the heating on and sitting with a coat on that was me few years ago when the heating costs rose and only had the heating on 3 hours a day. It was a horrible time when I was so worried about money . Thankfully those days are gone . And managed to put some money back into my savings the first time in 21 years .

Your trip to the garden centre sounds a great success Smiles . And your garden will look beautiful during the spring and summer and hope you got some plants for winter colour. I have a large hebe which turns a beautiful purple during the winter and the dogwood is a vibrant red. Plus my evergreen not all green but shades of grey/silver.

Went to my new craft group yesterday and had a wonderful time . I even taught someone to cross stitch. All the cake went and they said they are looking forward to next month. Already booked my place for next month as they are limited to 20 people . Tea and coffee was free.

I always get my glasses from Specsavers and have done since my my husband died. My last eye test showed early signs of cataracts and they will tell me when they need doing..
Take care all 😊