Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Well this will be the last post on this thread and it's been another good one with plenty of 'caring and sharing' so thanks to all who have been here x

That's a lot of books Whiff. We cleared most of ours when we moved last year. I only kept a dozen, Mr. S. kept more and now I'm passing on the ones I have read to keep numbers down.

Pocket doors are great space savers Allsorts, they slide in and out of a stud wall. It was ES's brilliant idea when we first renovated the flat years ago.

It says it's reached 40' so hopefully new thread will kick in as its on going.

Whiff I am glad your toe is getting better, I have had the same in the past and had to wear sandals around the house as couldn't bear anything touching it.
Smileless never heard of a pocket door I will have to look it up. I have sliding patio doors and love them, before that many years ago it was French Windows, in this hot weather I open it, it only opens half the door width, on to the patio, it's about 4 feet when open and its lovely. It brings my scented roses and honeysuckle perfume in from the garden in. . Did have sliding doors across living, dining area but couldnt those, they only lasted 6 months.
I can't see how people who estrange feel the same as those that are estranged, you come at it from different perspective. However, that's just my opinion so I will just avoid the trolls they are only here to cause trouble anyway and I can't be of any help as I wasn't an abuser. Anyone that has suffered abuse need special professional help, in short supply I know, help, they have been let down by the person who should have been their support and loving,,
Hope is a bit cooler today so I can get something done,mit been the humidity I have found so hard.
My favourite month coming up, birthdays etc and trips arranged so hope it's a nice 23 degrees all month.

Just trying to get this to a 1,000. My day will be taken up cataloguing my book collection. Brought a new journal to do it in . Might take a few days have lot of books plus I find it hard to write because of my shaky hands . I know I must have near 400 but they are my favourite authors.

Funny I culled my books from 600 to 300 when I moved but it's growing again . But have always loved reading since my parents brought us a 6d Ladybird book a week . Then joined the library when older . Don't take books out of the library since I moved here as I stick to the same genre and libraries don't stock all the authors I like.
Have a good day everyone.

Never fear the trolls will be back but as usual they will be outed and GNHQ will deal with them .

They must think those on GN are idiots . It's like the adverts pretending to be real poster. My favourite are the witch doctor ones .

Yes it is a shame and it tends to be the ones I referred too in my previous post that are responsible which I always find rather bizzare when they're claiming to be EAC, the very people the threads are geared too .

Ah, OK - what a shame that they get derailed. Oh well - we can all only do our best to support people, can't we?

I don't know why, but over the years threads specifically to support EAC never seem to work stillawipp. They don't tend to last long or become so unpleasant that they get deleted.

TBF EAC are supported on this forum by EP's on GN particularly those who post regularly. It's understandable that as EP's there are times when we are defensive, you only have to have seen what's been happening on this forum recently to see why.

In more than 12 years on GN, I have never seen that type of behaviour toward EAC from EP's; not once and I can only imagine how distasteful it must be to those EAC, who genuinely want to be proactive members of the estrangement forum, to see the posts we see from trolls, 'new' members and previously banned posters.

I would think that what they hope to achieve by posting here is what all of us hoped to achieve. To be listened too and to be believed. To find others who've also experienced what we have and to be treated with civility, respect and empathy even by those who have no experience of estrangement.

All of the above would help them feel better as it has helped the EP's here, and I know that EAC who have and continue to post have benefited from the help we've tried to give because they've said so on the forum.

Btw, that is absolutely not an implied criticism of anyone, just a suggestion for an alternative approach to an issue when other efforts have not worked, and it's an approach I am now trying to adopt as much as possible.

Allsorts

I have only just thought of this and it might not be a good idea or even allowed regarding the troll (s) that come nnnon here. It
is always a child who has estranged their mother for vile abuse, but it soon escalates and it ends saying we are all bad. I thought the heading could include, not for abused adult children. That would stop them. . They can then start their own post.

Actually, Allsorts, I think the opposite would be a good idea - rather than trying to avoid an issue, why not tackle it head-on and start a thread specifically for the support of EAC? Ask what they would like to achieve by posting on here? Can we do anything to help them feel better? Really listen and try to understand their angle on it? If people are satisfied & confident as EPs that they are not bad parents, why not be proactive rather than defensive, & try to help those who were the victims of bad ones? Just an idea...

The next thread is ready and waiting as soon as this one maxes out.

Morning everyone.

As this is an open forum, we wouldn't be able to say the support thread's only for EP', and not EAC, abused or otherswise Allsorts.

Although not as much as we've had in the past, we're still accused from time to time of being an echo chamber, and to try and exclude not just EAC but anyone who isn't estranged would IMO, just reinforce that criticism.

We're not adverse to hearing from EAC, and have had thoughtful and mutually respectful conversations with some on this thread and others. It's the trolls and/or trouble makers that
aren't wanted here or any where else on GN.

Over the years when some of us have posted on threads started by EAC we've been told that it's a thread for them but no one 'owns' the thread they start on GN. If we tried to exclude EAC, it would IMO be hypocritical to post on 'their threads'. So if as we do see, a thread's been started and it very quickly becomes a platform for general EP bashing, should we post there if we want to dispel the myths and sweeping generalisations that all EP's are bad people, if we only want EP's posting here?

Those threads tend to be short lived because they either run out of steam or get so nasty they're deleted.

What we've seen here on GN can't be stopped, it can only be managed by Gransneters reporting and GNHQ removing the offenders which is what's happening. The trolls and previously banned posters shouldn't be here so I don't think trying to exclude them would make any difference, apart from perhaps making it worse.

Whiff

Stillawipp well done. My husband went to a company night out at the dog track many years ago and won every race he bet on . When asked how he picked the winner . He said if a dog did a poo before the race he bet on it 😂.

Allsorts if I remember correctly their have been estranged adult children on here in the past because they have become estranged from their own children. And I don't think they caused trouble. But my memory not always 100% reliable . So may be wrong . Someone will put me right.

My move it or lose it didn't start with religion mentioned . But I will still go every week I with just make my views none if it happens again . As you know routine is how I cope with my HPX it's how my life has always worked. I like the group and the exercises are fun and I need to keep my limbs going .

My toe is healing the pharmacist knew what to give me . But at least I know if it happens again to get antibiotics and not leave it 4 days . Just didn't know you can get cellulitis on your toes .

I have french doors in my bungalow and never use them as they are in my living plus I hate french doors. Had the step outside of it removed when I had the garden flattened and new paving . My parents had a sliding door fitted my dad and husband did it but they didn't put a step outside and it was never opened . When I asked why they wanted a sliding door they said to let in more light, said they could just have had a bigger window but once they got an idea into their heads that was it .

Smiles can't get over how quickly we are approaching 1,000. Shows how much the thread is needed.

Haha that’s hilarious - I must try that approach!! Lucky him x

Stillawipp well done. My husband went to a company night out at the dog track many years ago and won every race he bet on . When asked how he picked the winner . He said if a dog did a poo before the race he bet on it 😂.

Allsorts if I remember correctly their have been estranged adult children on here in the past because they have become estranged from their own children. And I don't think they caused trouble. But my memory not always 100% reliable . So may be wrong . Someone will put me right.

My move it or lose it didn't start with religion mentioned . But I will still go every week I with just make my views none if it happens again . As you know routine is how I cope with my HPX it's how my life has always worked. I like the group and the exercises are fun and I need to keep my limbs going .

My toe is healing the pharmacist knew what to give me . But at least I know if it happens again to get antibiotics and not leave it 4 days . Just didn't know you can get cellulitis on your toes .

I have french doors in my bungalow and never use them as they are in my living plus I hate french doors. Had the step outside of it removed when I had the garden flattened and new paving . My parents had a sliding door fitted my dad and husband did it but they didn't put a step outside and it was never opened . When I asked why they wanted a sliding door they said to let in more light, said they could just have had a bigger window but once they got an idea into their heads that was it .

Smiles can't get over how quickly we are approaching 1,000. Shows how much the thread is needed.

I have only just thought of this and it might not be a good idea or even allowed regarding the troll (s) that come nnnon here. It
is always a child who has estranged their mother for vile abuse, but it soon escalates and it ends saying we are all bad. I thought the heading could include, not for abused adult children. That would stop them. . They can then start their own post.

Oh, sorry, that was in reply to Whiff

We had one bet, on the main race, and I won!! Very exciting 💕

Whiff

Reported that thread along with lot others have had a mass email from GNHQ and it's been deleted

Glad yet another one has been deleted. I didn't see that one but it doesnt take much imagination to guess the gist of it! 🙄

Morning everyone.

Good grief DL I don't know whats sadder; the fact that there are people who come up with this rubbish; that they're an insult to those who have a genuine history of abuse or that they think we're stupid enough to believe them.

It's always a 'new' poster who starts them and 'new' posters who come along with sympathy and support . As you say DL when it comes to troll posts, the bar is definitely getting lower.

Sorry about your toe Whiff, that sounds really painful, I hope it gets better soon . Our feet are so sensitive aren't they, it always hurts more if the catch them on something, even without complications.

I don't understand why some with faith have the need to bring it into every situation. It always annoys me if someone says 'as a Christian .....', as if that means what they think and say carries more weight than someone who isn't.

We arrived at our flat yesterday, we haven't been here for months apart from our weekly mail collection so there are one or two external jobs to do and I got started having a good clean.

Our friend's s.i.l. who fitted the stain glass window based on a painting DS did for his church in Aus. did clean up well bless him but everything needed freshening up.

Big disappointment regarding the sliding door we were going to get. He also removed the pocked door into the kitchen which was a pain, but we can't have the door we wanted because the wall isn't solid and wont take the weight.

We never really used the pocket door anyway so have decided not to bother but I am annoyed, as the one we wanted would have looked fab .

We're on page 40 and as sometimes the threads don't go up to 1000 posts, it will very soon be time to get the next one ready to go.

Have a good day everyone.

Whiff

Reported that thread along with lot others have had a mass email from GNHQ and it's been deleted

So did I. I preferred the snake buried alive by evil Mom wind up thread a few weeks ago to be honest.

The bars getting lower with these troll posts 😂😂

Stomped feet and twisting limbs was a bit low rent. 🤷‍♀️

I tend to avoid classes where religion is bought into it. It's a personal thing. Can understand it if you go to a Church and the classes held there and are run by a member of the congregation though. I aim for one day out, one in. That way I font get frazzled.
Hope your toe gets better quickly Whiff. I banged mine up recently, couldn't bear even a sock on it, it swelled up and went very red, I soaked my feet in very warm water for fifteen minutes, cleaned my nails afterwards and rubbed my toes in Vick. Can now wear my socks and trainers. Just luck I suppose though.
Gave a good day everyone.

Reported that thread along with lot others have had a mass email from GNHQ and it's been deleted

stillawipp hope you are enjoying yourself. Do you have a bet if so have you had a win ?

New thread same poster under different name . If it goes the same way as before best not to get involved as it got ugly and deleted .

Thought I had banged my big toe but it was on the side edge. Sudocrem wasn't helping so when I went to the drs Monday to get a BT popped into the pharmacy. Like a twit didn't take a picture of my toe. Tried yesterday it's difficult to take a picture of your toe 🤦. Anyway saw pharmacist and he gave me 5 days of antibiotics incase it didn't got. But had to stop me statin if I took it. My toe was worse yesterday and the redness had spread so took the antibiotics. Not so sore this morning and not looking so red. Had it on my legs before after falls didn't realise you could get it on your toes. I looked up pictures of cellulitis of the toe just like my toe .

Had blood test results come on my NHS app yesterday. Got to go to see drs today to sign a letter. So will book appointment to see the GP but seems my sodium levels are the same as last time . Will have to make a note on my phone of all the days I am unavailable. Have a lot going on in July.

Since moving here my life has never been so busy. But at least I am living my life to the full no longer existing like I did after my husband died. Then had people dependant on me.

I love going to my move it or lose it class as it does me good and it's fun .But lot are religious and the instructor is a lay preacher. Before everyone can we where talking can't remember how it came about but she mentioned how her mom felt after her dad died and how her faith helped her. As an atheist don't believe in any gods. Said the rage and anger of my husband dieing gets me through each day even after 21.5 years. She told me to should let go of the anger . Told her no and I respect people's believe to have a faith but I expect people to respect my not having one . And will keep my rage and anger . If people ask me things I answer them she has been divorced and engaged to be married so she has no idea what it is like to lose half of yourself when the love of your life dies. She's a nice woman and don't want to be rude but if she does it again I will set her straight. What bugs me instead of staying like our sit fit instructor put your hands together and we put them together anyway we want. But she's sees hands together in prayer I don't .

At least sit fit is so different when offered a leaflet for a church event by one of the members said no thank I an atheist and she that your right . Religion is never mentioned first time in my 2.5 years of going .

I know lot here have a faith I respect than and glad to say you respect mine not having one .

Just having a rant . 😁

Yoginimeisje

Morning all

Lots of posts since I was last on, so I'll read and post as I go.

Didn't go on Saturday, all agreed too hot. Took Joey to the beach for an early walk at 7am, it was lovely, but could feel the heat rising as we returned. Stayed in all day after that, did some gardening in the morning before it got too hot, so all nice and tidy. Then watched the Royal Ascot racing all day! It was so good. Buying tickets for next year for 'The Queen Anne Enclosure' just waiting for my DD to give me the go ahead with checking her DH is available to look after the children. £120 a ticket but that's with the coach there and back.

Good to hear Mr.B is home and doing better. My park friend is not doing so well, we are taking it in turns to visit him at meal times, to make sure he eats & drinks.

BBQ and a meal out in the evening Smiles you are living the life .

Good you tried Mirsa

Sparkly your cherries look lovely! I have quite a few apples on my apple tree this year, promised my park friend he would get some once they are ready.

Couldn't take Joey walkies because it was too hot, now can't take him cos it's raining . He has one of those wet coats to keep him cool Whiff.

We were at Royal Ascot this week! Hot but fabulous, as always 🐎