Not seeing grandkids

Smileless2012 as much as I respect you feeling that way, I do have the OPs needs as paramount here and I prefer to have my own thoughts and my own say in things. I don't think this conversation serves the OPs needs so let's leave it there

Bringing estrangement into responses isn't on topic is it; she's never mentioned it.

I think OP probably put it here for a reason, if not I am sure she could ask for it to be moved if she would like to.

Otherwise people will post on topic as they should

Yes this is the estrangement forum but the OP hasn't said she's worried about becoming estranged and isn't estranged, so I don't think it's necessary to put that thought into her head.

Pantglas, see what you mean.....

Smileless2012

FGS I do wish people would stop going to the OP about estrangement, it doesn't help.

OP placed her thread in "Estrangement" and as far as I can see has not explained why. I doubt she cares to the name to the forum.

Doesn't matter to answers, maybe OP will estrange maybe not.

Smileless2012

FGS I do wish people would stop going to the OP about estrangement, it doesn't help.

I didn't realise at first because I look in the active threads but for current ones...

But this is in Estrangement

FGS I do wish people would stop going to the OP about estrangement, it doesn't help.

I thought the trxxx had been removed from this thread how come it’s back to hurt DubAngel
Take NO notice of Llort read the name backwards and you ll see what sort of person they are Dubangle
Or
Just carry on being friends with your daughter in law don’t try to make you son take sides and offer what you can maybe take them out for a meal or offer to babysit so they can go out and try not to take it all to heart
And take NO notice of the nasty old Trxxl

DubAngel

I wrote the post last night because I was upset.

1.i don't expect to see them every Sunday for lunch
2.nor would I go down everyday.
3.i know they are busy.
4.i just want to be included sometime.
5.
I'm in Ireland and I wouldn't bring them to court.
6.i brought my own dm in to show that I understand boundaries.
7.im allowed to feel annoyed and have my feelings hurt over being cancelled.
8.
I've decided to leave it and let them contact me.

You really must stop letting your emotions move the goalposts.

You need to sit down and have this difficult conversation but if you go into it feeling angry and upset it could go very badly.

Don't wait for them to contact you, they will likely interpret that as some sort of sulking.

Just have a calm conversation, ask what their idea of a reasonable visiting schedule looks like and see if you can meet in the middle.

Please don't end up in this estrangement boat. It hurts everyone involved

Just ignore it DubAngel.

Focus on becoming more likeable instead.
Wow talking about kicking someone when they're down @Llortl38563.

A Llort by any other name…….. (and there’s been quite a few )

We can all read backwards🙄

Focus on becoming more likeable instead.
🙄

Leaving them to contact you is the right decision DubAngel and please disregard L1ort's post as it is clearly a rather childish attempt to try and upset you .

25Avalon

DubAngel

25Avalon

Why is it down to your son to make arrangements to bring his kids and not down to dil? Do your ds and dil not live together? I presume they do and if this is your view then I am not surprised dil has taken against you and keeps visits to a minimum. If you talk to your son I think you could well make the situation worse and even end up estranged. Do not go down that road. Parents make arrangements together.

Well why is it Dils job to facilitate bringing the kids to me or making arrangements.
And nowhere have I said dilemma has taken against me,I think that's your imagination.

I did not say it was dils job to facilitate bringing the kids or making arrangements. Neither is it your sons as you previously asserted. It is for the parents to work between them. A lot of what you write is contradictory and confusing as well. First you say you want to have lunch on Sunday and see gg every day and then you don’t. You said when you do visit you only get to stay for an hour which made me think with all your other comments that perhaps dil did not like your attitude.

"A lot of what you write is contradictory and confusing as well. First you say you want to have lunch on Sunday and see gg every day and then you don’t. "

She isn't contradictory, she just made a typo ("jot" instead of not).

DubAngel

I wrote the post last night because I was upset.

1.i don't expect to see them every Sunday for lunch
2.nor would I go down everyday.
3.i know they are busy.
4.i just want to be included sometime.
5.
I'm in Ireland and I wouldn't bring them to court.
6.i brought my own dm in to show that I understand boundaries.
7.im allowed to feel annoyed and have my feelings hurt over being cancelled.
8.
I've decided to leave it and let them contact me.

I'm glad you're doing the right thing.

Now instead of focusing on how upset you are (I don't know the full story behind the cancellation, but if they are completely in the wrong than I'm sure a respectful, adult-to-adult conversation will suffice).

Focus on becoming more likeable instead. Since you can't make him like you or spend time with you. He's not a little kid under your total control anymore. He's actually so grown that he has a child of his own, so his parent's feelings shouldn't really be a priority for him right now.

Once again, glad you aren't making it his problem.

Though I have the fear that your comment:

"I've decided to leave it and let them contact me."

Means you're going to go the petty route and give them the silent treatment.

If that is the case, than your silence will be a true gift to them, not a curse.

DubAngel

25Avalon

Why is it down to your son to make arrangements to bring his kids and not down to dil? Do your ds and dil not live together? I presume they do and if this is your view then I am not surprised dil has taken against you and keeps visits to a minimum. If you talk to your son I think you could well make the situation worse and even end up estranged. Do not go down that road. Parents make arrangements together.

Well why is it Dils job to facilitate bringing the kids to me or making arrangements.
And nowhere have I said dilemma has taken against me,I think that's your imagination.

I did not say it was dils job to facilitate bringing the kids or making arrangements. Neither is it your sons as you previously asserted. It is for the parents to work between them. A lot of what you write is contradictory and confusing as well. First you say you want to have lunch on Sunday and see gg every day and then you don’t. You said when you do visit you only get to stay for an hour which made me think with all your other comments that perhaps dil did not like your attitude.

DubAngel leaving people do as they will is best. Nice decision.

I wrote the post last night because I was upset.

1.i don't expect to see them every Sunday for lunch
2.nor would I go down everyday.
3.i know they are busy.
4.i just want to be included sometime.
5.
I'm in Ireland and I wouldn't bring them to court.
6.i brought my own dm in to show that I understand boundaries.
7.im allowed to feel annoyed and have my feelings hurt over being cancelled.
8.
I've decided to leave it and let them contact me.

Starfire
You have no legal right to see your grandchildren in England and wales.
Read this. It explains what other routes you can take.
But be aware that if you go down this route you will destroy any relationship you have with your son.

commonslibrary.parliament.uk/what-rights-do-grandparents-have-to-see-their-grandchildren/

You are asking for lunch every Sunday?
Or to go down every day?
Because your own mother did?

I'm sorry you are feeling a little short-changed but this is the experience of many GPs now and you have to accept the 'crumbs from the table' as is what I was told.

Young families are very busy these days and I am afraid your needs are not up there on their list of priorities.

My situation is slightly different as my GCs aren't close by but if they were I would hate to be there every day, or feel obliged to cook for them every Sunday.

Living your own life is important here...

Oh, sorry, this has become all very unreasonable now

Lathyrus3

None of this makes any sense.

They took you shopping, drove you back to your house and then went on to pick the children up and took them to the park? So your son and daughter in law spent time with you shopping, but you wanted some more time with the grandchildren as well?

I don’t see how taking you to do your shopping is ‘pushing you out”. I think it’s way above what anyone can expect, because you can’t be very old if you have teenagers at home.

Unless you can post a bit more sensibly I’m afraid you won’t get any sensible suggestions to your “dilemma”. Just a forum for people airing their own grievances.

Which is maybe what you’re looking for?

I haven't seem my other 2 grandkids in a month.
Like I'm sorry I act want a relationship with them.
If I couldn't be bothered with them,that would be another story.

I'm jot asking for lynch every Sunday.
Or to go down every morning ( something my own dm did)
I just want a bit of inclusion, a bit of time with them.
I don't want to overtake or do anything that they don't want to do.

None of this makes any sense.

They took you shopping, drove you back to your house and then went on to pick the children up and took them to the park? So your son and daughter in law spent time with you shopping, but you wanted some more time with the grandchildren as well?

I don’t see how taking you to do your shopping is ‘pushing you out”. I think it’s way above what anyone can expect, because you can’t be very old if you have teenagers at home.

Unless you can post a bit more sensibly I’m afraid you won’t get any sensible suggestions to your “dilemma”. Just a forum for people airing their own grievances.

Which is maybe what you’re looking for?