Estrangement for celebrities

Madgran77

Allira The bold part was the quote from cc.

No matter anyway, we both are clear now. 🙂

I usually put the quote in these ^^
Which turns it into italics!
ie quote

Got it now though.

BlessedArt My understanding of the statement Live and let Live is different which is why it feels simplistic to me.

However your fuller explanation of what you mean by it I agree with.

Allira The bold part was the quote from cc.

No matter anyway, we both are clear now. 🙂

Madgran77

*Perhaps your DILs aren't Diva princesses!*

I assume you are referring to cc's comment Allira. My own comment was that it doesnt work for everyone - which could be for all sorts of reasons.

Oh, you didn't put it in quotes or italics. ^^

Apologies, it was cc who said that.

It’s not simplistic in this context at all. Accepting that our family members will not always make the choices we would like is ultimately what it means live and let live when it comes to family. It’s not about it being simple or easy. Just necessary for the preservation of a relationship, even if that relationship is different from what it used to be. The only thing that actually is simple is avoiding provocative instigations like publicly feuding or allowing other family members to add fuel to the fire by becoming involved. There is no reconciliation or peace to be found from conducting one’s self this way when in a family dispute and I don’t believe people who want to avoid family disharmony would carry on in that way. They certainly won’t grasp the idea of ‘live and let live”.

BlessedArt it’s also not by chance that those who live and let live tend have cohesive relationships more often.

No it isnt chance. Basically how any relationships work out, good or bad, are not by chance.

"Live and let live" - feels rather simplistic within the context of Estrangement although I do understand the point you are making.

Madgran77

*BlessedArt Generally speaking, people who live and let live, accept roles & relationships organically change over time, and refrain from being judgmental tend to find it easier to get along*

Well yes but if there is a problem one cannot assume that it is caused by those things you describe not happening! It certainly is not a MiL/DiL "thing"; as you say it's a "people thing". And that may be one person; 2 people or more than 2 people in family dynamics

Yes, that’s why I said “tend”. It’s not a given in all situations but it’s also not by chance that those who live and let live tend have cohesive relationships more often.

DiamondLily

Well, I agree.

Why Brooklyn Beckham and his wife need to keep waffling on, via social media, I don’t know.

Why Adam Peaty and Ramsey’s daughter need to keep scoring points, again through social media, I don’t know.

I suppose Gen X etc are the Insta generation. 🙄🙄🙄

The Beckhams other children and Peaty’s family have also posted on social media and spoken to traditional media. As I said, dysfunction all around.

DiamondLily

Well, I agree.

Why Brooklyn Beckham and his wife need to keep waffling on, via social media, I don’t know.

Why Adam Peaty and Ramsey’s daughter need to keep scoring points, again through social media, I don’t know.

I suppose Gen X etc are the Insta generation. 🙄🙄🙄

I dont know why anyone involved uses social media or the national press to score points; make points or anything else really

BlessedArt Generally speaking, people who live and let live, accept roles & relationships organically change over time, and refrain from being judgmental tend to find it easier to get along

Well yes but if there is a problem one cannot assume that it is caused by those things you describe not happening! It certainly is not a MiL/DiL "thing"; as you say it's a "people thing". And that may be one person; 2 people or more than 2 people in family dynamics

Well, I agree.

Why Brooklyn Beckham and his wife need to keep waffling on, via social media, I don’t know.

Why Adam Peaty and Ramsey’s daughter need to keep scoring points, again through social media, I don’t know.

I suppose Gen X etc are the Insta generation. 🙄🙄🙄

Generally speaking, people who live and let live, accept roles & relationships organically change over time, and refrain from being judgmental tend to find it easier to get along. It’s not a MIL/DIL thing. It’s a people thing. Some people fall out with family and friends more than others. You see it particularly when some have a different perspective on things like the level of involvement in the lives and decisions of other adult relatives, and throw a strop when their desires don’t align. No family is perfect, but it helps to accept change in relationships gracefully, rather than meeting the changes with anger and accusations.

Also, none of us know these “celebs” personally, but publicly identifying your relatives and airing your family’s dirty laundry certainly gives a glimpse into the dysfunction of an individual. I certainly understand how therapeutic an anonymous vent can be. However, posting family problems on social media and discussing them with the negativity-loving traditional media pretty much eliminates said individual as being purely a “victim”. Dysfunction will only breed more dysfunction. No good or healing can come of such decisions.

My son had a diva princess, she sought to control him. I took a back seat as I knew he wouldn't put up with it forever. I remained polite, friendly and welcoming to her. When they broke up five years later, she invited me over to tell me she was so sorry they had split up and told me she had gripes with him needing time to exercise and do his writing. I told her he wouldn't change those things as it was essential to keep his routine for his wellbeing. She didn't understand that he needed time to recharge, she wanted him to be at her beck and call 24/7. He had other friends too. She would cry alot, he knew he couldn't sustain the relationship, thank God they didn't have babies, I would have been in bits.

Perhaps your DILs aren't Diva princesses!

I assume you are referring to cc's comment Allira. My own comment was that it doesnt work for everyone - which could be for all sorts of reasons.

All cheap, nasty and ghastly. But frankly my dear…
There, sorted!

It certainly helps if they aren't Allira. A good relationship with her son's ex should ensure that she continues to see her GS; I hope so.

Madgran77

*I've always tried very hard not to interfere with my sons' relationships and am proud to say that I'm on the best of terms with my DIL, we have never had a disagreement.*

I'm glad that worked for you with yours and your DILs particular personalities. It doesn't for everybody sadly.

Perhaps your DILs aren't Diva princesses!

Smileless2012

^Will it all end in tears like Peaty's last relationship?^ well it's not a good start is it Allira.

It was only about 3 years ago having had a difficult year, he'd posted in his FB page how grateful he was to his family for the love and support he'd been given.

There was a photo of what looked like his mum with his son, her GC. I wonder if she'll ever see that little boy again.

I think she will because his ex has custody and gets on well with his mother (allegedly) so I hope so.

I get the impression that Mrs Peaty just wasn't sure how to cope with the celeb limelight and lifestyle which the Ramsays, Beckhams and now her son enjoy.
It was made plain to her that she didn't fit in.
Unkind.

No it doesn't does it Madgran.

I've always tried very hard not to interfere with my sons' relationships and am proud to say that I'm on the best of terms with my DIL, we have never had a disagreement.

I'm glad that worked for you with yours and your DILs particular personalities. It doesn't for everybody sadly.

Will it all end in tears like Peaty's last relationship? well it's not a good start is it Allira.

It was only about 3 years ago having had a difficult year, he'd posted in his FB page how grateful he was to his family for the love and support he'd been given.

There was a photo of what looked like his mum with his son, her GC. I wonder if she'll ever see that little boy again.

Allira

cc

Sarnia

There was a post about this when Adam Peaty's Mum did not receive an invitation to the hen do and the wedding.
The photos from the hen do showed a group of very slim, well heeled ladies of various ages all dressed up to the nines with long hair and posh nails. The pictures I have seen of Adam's Mum show a larger lady who dresses possibly for comfort, not style. The reason given for her absence was that she wouldn't fit in. I fully appreciate that we have no idea what goes on within families but I can't help feeling very sorry for his Mum. Just because she doesn't conform to an image she is cut adrift. I find that cruel in the extreme. Adam Peaty is a born again Christian apparently. I don't see much Christian kindness here.

I'm not a lover of hen dos and would be only too grateful not to be invited!
I feel that estrangement can sometimes be down to possessive mothers and their relationships with DIL's, but obviously once a son is married their wife must come first. Sometimes it can be down to a DIL seeing how strong the link is between mother and son and resenting it.
I've always tried very hard not to interfere with my sons' relationships and am proud to say that I'm on the best of terms with my DIL, we have never had a disagreement.

Well, Holly made it absolutely plain from the start that she did not intend to be on even civil terms with her MIL!

Will it all end in tears like Peaty's last relationship?

I'm sure that there are two sides to every story, possibly complicated by the breakdown of Adam's last marriage as the previous DIL has said to have been on good terms with his mother.
I don't read tabloids or internet gossip so I don't know how her relationship with her MIL started out. Also I don't know how his last relationship ended - we never know how much we can trust any celebrity gossip stories which are often "managed" by PR companies for the more wealthy party.
I have to feel sorry for the first wife and her son though, someone mentioned earlier that she has maintained a dignified silence throughout the whole sorry farago.

cc

Sarnia

There was a post about this when Adam Peaty's Mum did not receive an invitation to the hen do and the wedding.
The photos from the hen do showed a group of very slim, well heeled ladies of various ages all dressed up to the nines with long hair and posh nails. The pictures I have seen of Adam's Mum show a larger lady who dresses possibly for comfort, not style. The reason given for her absence was that she wouldn't fit in. I fully appreciate that we have no idea what goes on within families but I can't help feeling very sorry for his Mum. Just because she doesn't conform to an image she is cut adrift. I find that cruel in the extreme. Adam Peaty is a born again Christian apparently. I don't see much Christian kindness here.

I'm not a lover of hen dos and would be only too grateful not to be invited!
I feel that estrangement can sometimes be down to possessive mothers and their relationships with DIL's, but obviously once a son is married their wife must come first. Sometimes it can be down to a DIL seeing how strong the link is between mother and son and resenting it.
I've always tried very hard not to interfere with my sons' relationships and am proud to say that I'm on the best of terms with my DIL, we have never had a disagreement.

Well, Holly made it absolutely plain from the start that she did not intend to be on even civil terms with her MIL!

Will it all end in tears like Peaty's last relationship?

Freshair

Without the Beckham brand, that boy would be nothing. His wife has the upper hand and probably feels threatened by V&D and what they've achieved. Whatever they've done to upset her, he obviously feels he has no choice but to support her intense dislike of them. He's weak and spineless. His wife obviously relishes the power and wants to continue to affect their relationship. It all smacks of coercion and is a form of abuse but no one can tell him to challenge this behaviour because his wife is deadly stunning and will continue to get away with forcing him to turn his back on his family.

I must say that this is my take on the situation too, and wonder what will happen if /when the marriage fails. Hopefully he will be welcomed back into the fold, and hopefully his mother will be super careful when dealing with future DILs.

Sarnia

There was a post about this when Adam Peaty's Mum did not receive an invitation to the hen do and the wedding.
The photos from the hen do showed a group of very slim, well heeled ladies of various ages all dressed up to the nines with long hair and posh nails. The pictures I have seen of Adam's Mum show a larger lady who dresses possibly for comfort, not style. The reason given for her absence was that she wouldn't fit in. I fully appreciate that we have no idea what goes on within families but I can't help feeling very sorry for his Mum. Just because she doesn't conform to an image she is cut adrift. I find that cruel in the extreme. Adam Peaty is a born again Christian apparently. I don't see much Christian kindness here.

I'm not a lover of hen dos and would be only too grateful not to be invited!
I feel that estrangement can sometimes be down to possessive mothers and their relationships with DIL's, but obviously once a son is married their wife must come first. Sometimes it can be down to a DIL seeing how strong the link is between mother and son and resenting it.
I've always tried very hard not to interfere with my sons' relationships and am proud to say that I'm on the best of terms with my DIL, we have never had a disagreement.