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Estrangement

Taken out of Mothers trust

(23 Posts)
Moonphase Sat 07-Mar-26 21:29:55

My siblings took my mom to the lawyer and had her take me out of her trust. I am the only one who kept in touch with my Dad after their divorce. They hated him. They didn't want me to have any of my moms money. I only want it for my kids, who could use it. They are all pretty wealthy and act like they did this on "principle", but all I feel is a loss.

NotSpaghetti Sun 08-Mar-26 08:41:20

I think you are USA so don't know the law there but if you believe your mum was made/coerced into changing her will I think you can challenge it.

Is your mother still alive?
If so, I think I'd talk about it and ask if she is cross with you could your share "skip" to your children - your siblings can't pressure her about that but you won't get anything.

Of course our wills are our own - and she did have the right to change her will. I don't think anyone has a right to be left anything.

InRainbows Mon 09-Mar-26 17:05:52

Who told you this and was it in a form of evidence you can use to prove this was done maliciously?

How is your relationship with your mum? Can you talk to her direct?

crazyH Mon 09-Mar-26 17:18:41

I am divorced. My daughter is very close to her Dad, compared to my other two children. But I would never cut her out of my Will. She gets equal share..

Moonphase Fri 27-Mar-26 23:31:27

She died before Thanksgiving

NotSpaghetti Sun 29-Mar-26 08:46:46

Can you challenge the will?
And if you can, and do, is the money worth the emotional turmoil?

Macaydia Sun 29-Mar-26 08:58:19

I would just forget about it and never associate with them again. Focus on your children. Money does not cause happiness. Your attitude does.

Cossy Sun 29-Mar-26 09:07:51

Macaydia

I would just forget about it and never associate with them again. Focus on your children. Money does not cause happiness. Your attitude does.

Great advice, much as it will grate.

User147253 Sun 29-Mar-26 20:44:36

More context is needed.

Why did your father get divorced and cast out by his other children? Did he destroy the family and hurt your mom unforgivably, perhaps with an affair?

Also, if I had to guess, you're either the youngest or oldest child (probably youngest if I had to pick one). No in-between.

Either way, you seem to have chosen where your loyalties lie. Look towards your father for an inheritance for your children.

I wouldn't want money going towards a betrayer either, even if they heavily share my DNA. Not saying you are a traitor, but it does seems like your siblings consider you to be one.

TheSunRisesInTheEast Mon 30-Mar-26 02:46:20

Moonphase

She died before Thanksgiving

Sorry for your loss, Moonphase 💐. I imagine it can be difficult to grieve when you have this situation going on with your siblings. You may feel betrayed by your mum, or feel that she was coerced by them.

I hope you managed to get your share of inheritance for your children and that you are getting emotional support. You should not be blamed for staying in touch with your dad, you obviously had a good relationship with him, you only get one dad. Be kind to yourself 🤗.

Moonphase Mon 30-Mar-26 13:11:51

I am in the will, but they took me off the trust. Four of my siblings took my mom down to the lawyers office and she changed it. That will never be won in a court that they "influenced" her. In the end it was her decision and that hurts that she not only turned her back on me but my children who loved her. They never expected anything from her, but I have many neices and nephews who are as well to do as my siblings and want for nothing. I have a disabled son and he could use help as well as my daughter.

It just hurts that they could be so spiteful towards us. Now I'm saying goodbye to a lifetime of memories and trying not to be bitter.

Last time I visited my Mom my sister knocked on the front door and handed me a container filled with all my kids pictures from over the years. She could have just thrown them out, but this is how mean they are.

Moonphase Mon 30-Mar-26 13:20:19

Also, in answer about my dad leaving. My Dad never re-married. My mom was actually having an affair when they got divorced. My dad wasn't a great husband or dad, but he took care of us. So, I don't blame her. Eventually my Mon re-married someone else.

The idea of having to choose where my loyalties lie is not something I ever wanted to do. That is why the family was torn apart. Those who were against my Dad and those who were not. Their loyalties changed back and forth and I allowed them to have their choice. I was punished for not making a choice. I was a nine year old girl. That's not a choice for a child to make. I eventually just accepted them both and it wasn't easy keeping a relationship with my Dad, but I just did cause he was my Dad. He was heart broken, but I just did what I could to bring him some happiness.

Smileless2012 Mon 30-Mar-26 14:07:30

Your dad was lucky to have you Moonphase as are your siblings, if only they could see it. I hope one day that they will flowers x

Moonphase Mon 30-Mar-26 17:58:30

Thank you so much Smileless! That was such a comforting comment.
When the subject is wills, money, families, etc. things get so legal an insesitive. When you don't forsee family turning on you, it is hard to take in.
I appreciate your understanding.

TheSunRisesInTheEast Mon 30-Mar-26 19:32:04

I can't imagine the pain of being betrayed by your mum and your siblings, it's so cruel, especially as you are caring for a disabled child, which can't be easy. Your daughter must also feel sidelined by her aunts, uncles, cousins and gran.

I hope you can get over the hurt and live a fulfilling and happy life 💐.

Moonphase Mon 30-Mar-26 23:39:19

Thank you that is very kind of you.

Earlier on this link, somebody called me a betrayer because I kept in touch with my dad. I just don’t think there’s situations where you have to choose even though one might be better than the other. To try to tell a child or sibling that they can only have one parent is just not how I could live. If that makes me a betrayer, I don’t think so but thank you for understanding.
I have been betrayed just for doing that and when it comes from family, unless you go through it you really don’t understand that kind of hurt.

Thank you all for the support and kind words. It really does help and I know time will heal somehow.

TheSunRisesInTheEast Tue 31-Mar-26 02:21:03

❤️🤗🙏💐

Allsorts Tue 31-Mar-26 04:46:32

Moonphase, you have done nothing wrong, your family have betrayed you but please let it go. You loved your mother and father its as simple as that, you should not have had to choose, its good you were there for your father and your conscience is clear. Let your siblings keep their bitterness and you go forward and I hope you find happiness, let them hang on to their grudges and bitterness.

barmcake Tue 31-Mar-26 05:49:03

People show their true colours where wills/money are concerned. Such a devious and hurtful thing to do but I agree with Allsorts.

Moonphase Tue 31-Mar-26 13:19:05

Thank you. I am trying.
Memories of many years with them, the nieces and nephews. I took all my vacation time to go visit them for holidays. Now, my children have no family and will not see any of their extended family. They have poisened their minds against us.

I do feel worse for my children than me, but they both say they aren't worried about it and didn't expect anything. My daughter works 50 hours a week to make ends meet.

My Dad left us a little, but my Mom had a lot more. They wouldn't let my daughter have the jewelry my Mom left for her. We don't really care about that, but it would have been nice for her to have something. She did love her Grandma, as well as my son.

I will have a life without them. I do hear my sister's saying they are doing the right thing and they deserved something from the Dad they hated. I will learn to live with the condescending attitudes I am realizing I lived with all me life.

I really am a positive person, this just will take some time.
Thank you!

Smileless2012 Tue 31-Mar-26 16:06:10

You are far richer than your siblings will ever be Moonphase because you're a much nicer person flowers.

Moonphase Tue 31-Mar-26 18:48:36

Remember that your real wealth can be measured not by what you have, but by what you are.

Smileless2012 Tue 31-Mar-26 19:46:16

Exactly Moonphase smile