I miss my babyboy so much.

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Teenagers aren't the only ones who can feel horny youngMan, it isn't only reserved for the young.

A ridiculous comment youngMan. Raising a child alone which the OP did, takes a great deal of maturity, hard work and self sacrifice.

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Repercussion doesn't mean that something is out of someone's control youngMan. It means the unintended consequences of an event or action, especially an unwelcome one; which is precisely what's happened here.

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You may not feel sympathy is warranted youngMan but thankfully there are some here who do, not for what happened but for the repercussions.

Whether or not you feel sympathy is warranted is no excuse for unnecessary unpleasantness.

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No one knows the full story or how the son was affected. Maybe in time he can resume contact but he has to want it. Punishing yourself won't help in any way I would not go to a therapist,must rehashing but others do and say it helps them. I think to myself, can I alter the past in any way, have I learnt anything from it, can I put it right, then move forward.

So sorry to hear this and sending love and support. I too have made some awful mistakes. It doesn't sound to me as if you did anything 'wrong' anyway, just unwise. Therapy is a good idea, in my opinion, also, and to be able to get support from understanding friends.

It must be a truly terrible thing to miss your child so much. I’m sorry you are experiencing this.

Therapy is a great place to start your healing. Your son has made a choice he feels is best for him and he isn’t cruel for it, even if it hurts. People go into self-preservation mode when they feel they need to. You made a choice in the past that you felt was best for you. He did as well. Our choices for ourselves will not always be what others desire, but that doesn’t give us the right to demonize those choices. Seems he chose walking away rather than berating or perpetually expressing his anger/hurt towards you.

If you have knowledge that he now has a family of his own, I would try to take comfort in knowing he is at least doing okay. At least he is not alone in the world. Hopefully, one day he will have a change of heart and want some contact even if your relationship can never be the same. Until then, therapy. It’s a much safer space than the internet to work through your feelings and find healthy coping mechanisms. All the best

I’m
Sorry you’re hurting so. I would strongly encourage therapy , at the end of the day it takes two to have a relationship and it seems your son has decided not too. A good therapist can help ti to accept that and how to move forward with your life. I

Jen, that is such a desperately sad situation, I feel your pain. Is there any chance that he's still in touch with his grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins/other siblings? Are they all aware of the situation? It's been 10 long years of absence, that's a very long time for him to be angry with you. I don't know how old he was when he left, maybe you should have reported him as missing person, at least then you would have made it known to him that you wanted him back and were sorry. Maybe you could try setting up a gofundme page to raise funds for a private investigator. I wish you luck and hope that some day you will have your boy back in your life 💐

I hope so too Fallingstar.

That would explain why your previous threads were removed jen.

As embarrassing as it would have been for your son, this length of estrangement during which time he's married and had a child is IMO a very cruel punishment but, and this is what's so awful jen, there's simply nothing you can do about it.

Please consider counselling or therapy to enable you to have a life without your son because although it may not seem possible, there is a life to be had and you deserve to have one .

I do hope there aren’t going to be any nasty comments on here, it must take courage to come out and tell a story that doesn’t cast the OP in the best light but has obviously caused her so much pain. We are all human as well as parents and do make mistakes.

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An apology is called for. Try and get his contact number from anybody/anywhere.
We all make mistakes. Sometimes, all is forgiven. Other times, the mistake continues to hang in the air, something I’ve experienced but can’t do anything about .

Thoughts & good wishes from me too, Jen.

So your sadness is about losing contact with your son . I feel for you that is very sad and I hope with fingers crossed that one day you ll be reunited.
Why is he punishing you for a mistake, presumably the young man in question was not underage and was a consenting adult ! I suppose it was an embarrassing situation for your son but it’s a very big punishment to stay away for ten years.
I don’t know what you can do if you have no idea where he is presuming there are no relatives or friends that can help you You don’t know if he’s even in the country, so an almost impossible situation So sad I can understand how upset you are
I can only offer you my thoughts and good wishes

Do you still have contact with any relatives or friends that might know where he is?

I presume you would want to say sorry?

Haven’t you been on here before? What is the full story?

jendepressed68

I had a brief fling with a young man who happened to be a friend with my son and there were some unfortunate communication issues and my son did tell me he didnt care at first and then he proceeded to ghost me and ceased contact entirely

We are human, we all make mistakes. Some have far reaching consequences, I’ve made some awful mistakes.

I’m with Grandmabatty in terms of seeking some therapy, but in my view all are welcome to post here and it should be a safe place for absolutely everyone.

Good luck

Jendepressed68, this is very sad but you cannot live with this weighing you down, you have to live your life as best you can and hope and pray that one day your son will get in touch. This is his decision and after 10 years I would hope he can see that enough is enough and that he should make some kind of contact, but you can’t change things if he continues estranging you.
Am wishing you the strength to move on with your life.
💐