For the past 10 years gransnet has supported me through my estrangement with my son and I wanted to give a brief update.
After this long time I was invited into my son's house and as you would expected I was overwhelmed but tried not to be over emotive. (which I hope I succeeded at). Since then he helped me when I was looking after my 1yr old granddaughter (his daughter). The following week we were in the same room at a birthday party.
At all three occasions he didn't speak directly to me or acknowledge me but it's small steps and I am content with how things are.
Lessons I have learnt:
1. Estrangement changes. At first I was totally distraught and had to learn to accept that this was the way it was
2. Stay close to people - my ex daughter in law, my son's new girlfriend helped us and we have helped them cope with my son's mental health They also enabled to be part of our grandchildren lives.
3. It's tempting to push for more involvement but the lead needs to come from my son. It's unlikely we will ever have the same close relationship.
4. When it was difficult I developed a mantra - I have a 44 year old son who has a mental health condition but he has a job, house and children who adore him.
I hope this can help anyone who is suffering from estrangement, t is truly a heartbreaking situation
