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Everyday Ageism

Should people in care homes be "allowed to have sex"?

(17 Posts)
JessM Fri 19-Feb-16 12:33:22

This report obviously highlighted a lack of adequate care. But the headlines highlighted that residents were "allowed to have sex".
And why should they not be? As long as it is consensual?

Marelli Fri 19-Feb-16 12:56:14

And why not? They live in a 'home' environment. Many years ago, when I went for my first interview for a job at a residential care facility for young disabled, I was asked how I felt about making it possible for a couple to carry this out (in private, obviously). I replied that I had no problem whatsoever, as long as I was following the procedure.

ninathenana Fri 19-Feb-16 12:59:41

If they are both capable of giving consent then the answer to the title is
Of course !!

Anya Fri 19-Feb-16 13:42:58

Indeed they should.

JessM Fri 19-Feb-16 15:00:34

I remember years ago having a night out with some female colleagues. One of them helped her partner run a small nursing home. She did reduce us all (naive young things that we were) by telling us that one of their very elderly residents often demanded her vibrator at bedtime smile

Lavande Fri 19-Feb-16 15:04:47

The answer is yes. At least I hope to.

whitewave Fri 19-Feb-16 16:08:34

How bizarre. The guests are consenting adults. Absolutely no-ones business, unless of course they are keeping other people awake!

Anniebach Fri 19-Feb-16 16:37:37

Consenting adults , yes

Luckygirl Fri 19-Feb-16 17:06:31

From the link it would seem that there were problems with the home, aside from the concern about the sexual activity.

There is no problem about consenting adults having sex, but it may have been hard to decide the degree of mental capacity needed to be consenting in this setting.

Greymary Fri 19-Feb-16 17:29:52

I hope that if I am compos mentis and consenting I wouldn't be prevented.

trisher Fri 19-Feb-16 19:02:02

This wan't necessarily about 2 people and consensual sex. It says she allowed them "to engage in sexual activity"-might be people masturbating in public!!
Can't see how you would stop 2 people doing things in the privacy of their own rooms.

Nelliemoser Fri 19-Feb-16 19:46:42

Have you all read JessM link? You need to to see exactly what the real reasons for the closure of this home are. There were very poor standards of care going on here.
(This sounds like a typical local news paper highlighting the bit about the sex.)

I do have concerns. IMO This article is very little to do with the residents having sex but in the context of a care home that seems to be failing in so many basic standards I would feel a lot more concerned about that going on.

As the owner is failing in his basic duty of safeguarding what are the chances of him ensuring that the residents having sex are doing so with their full consent and that there is no coercion.

Apart from this headline if this issues is handled sensitively it can work.

lynnie1 Fri 19-Feb-16 20:18:36

How dreadful that this type of sensationalism can garner such interest , when clearly, the issue should be the quality of care, which sounds as if it is sadly lacking. I have no issues with consenting adults doing their own thing. I do, however, have issues with neglect

trisher Sat 20-Feb-16 10:21:52

The OP wasn't about the reasons for the closure which everyone would agree were horrendous but about the headline "allowed to have sex" why discuss something we all agree on? Of course neglect is terrible.

Luckylegs9 Wed 24-Feb-16 17:41:56

Why, if you have your mental capability and are consenting adults should anyone else be in a position of not allowing elderly people to make their own decisions.

Marelli Wed 24-Feb-16 18:38:49

In all, it's the word 'allow' that is also problem, isn't it? It is not for anyone, in a 'managerial' position or not, to dictate what is 'allowed' and what isn't.
Vulnerable people, who may either be in the later stages of their lives, or others who may be young and perhaps with a learning difficulty, still shouldn't be dictated to. An 'informed choice', where the person has their own choices addressed, ensures they can live their lives to the full in safety, and hopefully without any abuse taking place.

Shyness69 Thu 01-Nov-18 12:37:34

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