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Everyday Ageism

Granny fanciers

(47 Posts)
Bluecat Tue 28-Jun-16 15:51:40

Don't know if this question has been raised before, but has anyone else encountered granny fanciers on Facebook?

What I'm referring to is "friends" requests from strange men (strange, I guess, in both senses of the word.) I've had quite a few of these since joining Facebook and they baffle me. They're always quite a bit younger than me - in their 40s, to judge by their photos - and I've never heard of any of them. Some seem to have no connection to me whatsoever, but in some cases we have "a mutual friend," namely the sister of Linda, my husband's brother's late wife. I accepted a "friends" request from the sister in the aftermath of Linda's death because she seemed to need moral support, though I don't know her and I've begun to wonder, from some of her posts, if she's a bit odd. This lady is about my age (63.) Presumably she has accepted the requests from these men. I doubt she knows them personally, as they tend to be located far away, such as in the US.

Obviously I ignore the requests but I wonder about their motives. Are they scammers, looking for lonely old ladies to con out of their life savings? But my profile picture shows me with my arm around my husband, so why would they suppose I'm looking for a man?...Or are they granny fanciers? I find it hard to believe they swoon over my photo. I was never very alluring when I was young and I'm sure as hell not now!

I could ask Linda's sister about these men but we don't chat - I just read her posts, and perhaps she reads mine - and it would be difficult to ask her why these creepy men are her friends and want to be mine. And really embarrassing if she has some sort of online relationship with them....So I'm just baffled. Anyone else come across these peculiar gentlemen?

chelseababy Tue 28-Jun-16 16:24:27

No but a friend of mine had one from Canada who she messaged (?) a few times before she blocked him.

aggie Tue 28-Jun-16 17:12:29

My name is non gender , so I get requests ( and suggestions ) from creepy men and daft women , I just block them

aggie Tue 28-Jun-16 17:13:22

I never put a picture of myself on ! Don't want to break the internet !

GandTea Tue 28-Jun-16 17:43:07

When I was 18, I could never imagine myself fancying a granny let alone @@@@@@@ one. What a difference 63 years makes, give me a granny any day of the week grin.

phoenix Tue 28-Jun-16 17:48:49

There used to be a very creepy chap on here who would allude to his proclivities and those of his "ladies"

Elegran Tue 28-Jun-16 18:34:35

I remember him, Phoenix and how he luuurrrved older women! but I think the messenger got the message eventually.

Willow500 Tue 28-Jun-16 21:12:00

I don't get them on FB so much but have had a few on Skype from both men and women - I've no idea why they do it - instantly blocked.

kittylester Tue 28-Jun-16 21:23:47

There is a bloke here who fancies a specific granny.blush

harrigran Tue 28-Jun-16 21:30:28

I have had 3 or 4 requests on FB, all nice looking men of about 40.I would bet my last pound that they are archive photos from a Web page and not really them.

GandTea Tue 28-Jun-16 21:42:19

I certainly lust after one granny, and fantasise about her frequently, she is ....... (now that would be telling)

Elegran Tue 28-Jun-16 22:48:06

My Skype keeps getting friendship requests from generals in the US military (odd how there is no-one enlisted in the US army under the rank of general) They send photographs of distinguished-looking chaps in uniform and seem really keen to lavish affection on me.

I think it must be because part of my Skype username is the last two digits of the year of my birth, and they think that is my age. I just block them.

WilmaKnickersfit Tue 28-Jun-16 23:07:03

I saw a Dr Phil show about this kind of thing and it was a complete scam. It was actually very sad because these women did not appear to be particularly gullible, just lonely. The men are trying to groom you, not for sex but for money. They can be extremely convincing, using information about real people who have no idea their identities are being used in this way. The men can be targeting several women at the same time, all at different stages. They chat online and on the phone, and even meet the women. The FBI has a whole department dedicated to this kind of fraud which is really only made possible because of the development of the internet.

WilmaKnickersfit Tue 28-Jun-16 23:13:15

Sorry, I should have mentioned that often it's about money laundering.

Alea Tue 28-Jun-16 23:19:28

Goodness GandTea I read that as "every day of the week!!"
Moderation in ALL things!

WilmaKnickersfit Tue 28-Jun-16 23:25:21

Have we ever had a GN wedding? smile

Solitaire Tue 28-Jun-16 23:31:52

GandT you are incorrigible wink

Nelliemoser Tue 28-Jun-16 23:32:26

I suspect a lot of these are attempts at scamming or younger men fancying their chances. I am a hard bitten cynic about any approaches like this on line.

Solitaire Tue 28-Jun-16 23:48:53

My friend was using dating sites and one night when visiting her she showed me some of the replies and yes very obviously scammers. One was supposedly a senior officer in the US military and we made up replies which were very silly but made us laugh and kept us amused for a while.
I've been divorced since 1987 but never felt the need to join a dating site, or to have a permanent relationship. My friends think that's odd but I'm quite content as I am and too busy to fit anything more in to my life just now.

GandTea Wed 29-Jun-16 11:54:34

Alea, "Every day of the week" now that would be ridiculous, I like to keep weekends free. grin

Granof11 Wed 29-Jun-16 17:22:17

Simply had to reply to this one. Just this morning I took the decision to deactivate my Facebook page, not because of creepies getting in touch but because after a year's membership the only people ever to contact me were my sons and daughter and I prefer to chat to them by phone anyway. I'd been wasting so much time of late scrolling up and down through nonsensical posts. Don't know what happened to all those 'friends' who befriended me in the beginning. They certainly never responded to any of my posts.

MagicWriter2016 Wed 29-Jun-16 17:40:58

I have had a few requests from strange men and women on Facebook. I just reject them all, am happily married, but a lot of younger guys do like older women. They assume we are all 'experienced' in certain subjects lol. I told one, we might look OK in a photo, but once we have removed the uplifting bra and the control pants, different story lol! Think he was young enough to be my son or even grandson!

TriciaF Wed 29-Jun-16 18:20:35

This made me laugh because in my late 70s I received a private message from someone - on another forum, not facebook - suggesting a meetup with my husband, as a 4some for "fun".grin
I politely wrote back saying I was flattered by his offer, but because this was one of the reasons I divorced my first husband, I had to decline.

BlueBelle Wed 29-Jun-16 19:31:47

I ve had young men send me messages on FB telling me how much they admire me or think we have lots in common or what lovely smile/eyes etc haha they go straight in the bin

GandTea Wed 29-Jun-16 20:27:23

Hmm .... Why don't I get young women (I'd even settle for an old one) chasing me on FB ?. You grans get all the fun. sad

Bluecat Wed 29-Jun-16 22:55:21

I wondered if they were after my money (they'd be very disappointed!) but I assume they usually go for the phony romance story, and my husband is in my profile photo and others, so why would they think I might be interested?

As I said, the only "mutual friend" I have with any of these guys is a lady I don't really know well but does look, I suppose, fairly similar to me - roughly the same age, plump, white hair, a typical "grannyish" look. Maybe there are some men who want more than mothering, they want grandmothering! Very weird indeed.

The one that made me the most dubious was a chap who lived in the UK, seemed to have only women in their 60s and 70s as friends though he claimed to be in his 40s, and his only hobby was, apparently, nudism....

tanith Thu 30-Jun-16 06:51:24

GandT you're not the only one I'm feeling left out too grin

GandTea Thu 30-Jun-16 08:27:03

Well, there's the solution. I shall get my alter ego, Kirk Masters, (you know, the one with the bachelor pad overlooking Poole Harbour, along with the Aston Martin and yacht moored in the harbour), to chat you up on facebook.

GandTea Thu 30-Jun-16 08:32:43

BTW Tanith, Kirk might be young enough for you, he is in his late forties, and greying a little at the temples.

Spangles1963 Thu 30-Jun-16 18:54:19

Not experienced it on Facebook but in real life! I really am nothing special,52 years old,overweight with mobility issues. But the number of times I have been hit on by,practically always,younger men,in the last few years is really funny. When I say younger,I don't mean in that I am old enough to be their mother,just by 10 years or so. The irony of it is that I have been in a relationship for the last 3 and a half years,and it has only happened since then! Before that,nothing! How odd.

GandTea Thu 30-Jun-16 18:59:04

Overweight with mobility issues, sounds my sort of woman ---- One I can catch grin

tanith Thu 30-Jun-16 19:06:30

GandTea I like the sound of Kirk a toyboy, especially the yacht in the harbour.wink

Spangles1963 Thu 30-Jun-16 19:52:08

GandTea- Never thought of it like before! [Grin]

GandTea Thu 30-Jun-16 21:34:07

Sorry Tanith, you had your chance, now I've found a woman I can catch, look out Spangles flowers

sarahc446655 Mon 04-Jul-16 16:29:22

Its not just Facebook they hang out on Linked In nasty individuals pretending to have a similar career interest and actually looking for women to abuse by masquerading as someone else - the worst feeling of all. One vicious little specimen started to actively try and take my sanity apart piece by piece, until I brought it all to an abrupt halt - I dread to think what would happen to someone with a fragile mental state if they encounter this. I was more shocked as this normally happens on dating sites where women are considered more open to it.

grannylyn65 Mon 04-Jul-16 16:40:19

Oh how awful for you ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’

Elegran Mon 04-Jul-16 16:51:08

Does linked-in have a way to report such abuse?

rubylady Tue 05-Jul-16 03:54:57

I came off facebook some time ago, found it boring. I'm also coming up 52, disabled and overweight but get chatted up and my number asked for all the time, different ages. (Not being big headed, just stating facts.) I have been told I look in my 40's twice this last week so maybe that has something to do with it, but I am not interested at the moment. But God loves a trier. hmm

valeriej43 Tue 09-May-17 10:14:47

Yes, happened to me too several times, i have sometimes accepted a friend request, but usually ended up blocking them, one even rang me on messenger which you can do and its free, he said he preferred older women, in the end i blocked him, another in the army in Afghanistan ,actually asked me if i would receive a parcel for him and save it until he went home, [i assume on leave] i blocked him immediately,
Afriend of mine in her 60s, got involved with someone, they met a few times, and they were going to get married etc, she lent him a large amount of money, and her car, she never saw him ,her money or her car again,
The police found him in the end, but although i told her she was being stuip to be taken in she didnt listen because she was so smitten with him,
Lesson learned the hard way
When i was younger 40s, i got involced with someone quite a bit younger than me, my family objected and i finished it, we had been seeing each other for about 2 years, he was lovely and treated me like a queen, but i wouldnt take notice of anyone again, not even family
Feacebook is full of scammers, and con men

valeriej43 Tue 09-May-17 10:56:09

Just realised these are posts from 2016,

sunseeker Tue 09-May-17 11:07:49

I only accept Facebook friend requests from people I know and have met in real life. We use it to send funny memes to each other and interesting news items - otherwise we use the phone! I use Facebook mainly to keep in touch with family abroad and can spend almost an hour "chatting" with my great-niece.

M0nica Tue 09-May-17 16:10:37

The new President of France, Emmanuel Macron, has a wife 24 years his senior.

vampirequeen Tue 09-May-17 21:53:08

There was a programme on a while ago about young men and older ladies but tbh I found the men a bit creepy but by hell the ladies were having a cracking time grin

I think they're in the minority though. Most seem to be scam artists. Mine was supposed to be an engineer building bridges in Nigeria. I knew more about bridge design than he did grin

stillaliveandkicking Wed 10-May-17 20:23:10

I get them on the dating site I use. I ask certain questions and they end up blocking ME grin

geeljay Sun 25-Feb-18 18:42:27

My thoughts, too, GandTea. But I have a friend on facebook (a lady) who has frequent 'friend' requests from senior military ranks, usually serving Irak, or Afghanistan. Maybe they run a book on their success stories.. And no, she doesnt respond.

stevierichards1954 Fri 15-Jun-18 18:40:30

I am.not on Facebook but was. You can change settings to only friend requests from friends of friends.
And why go on without a picture.l, as I had many friend requests me that had no pic of themselves. So changed my settings but someone no pic on social media equals very weird.

I came off as became more important yo talk to my friends family on phone and I used it less and less, along with the original friend requests from anyone.

JuneS Fri 14-Sep-18 17:27:22

I have had a couple but blocked them immediately. A lsdy on a TV program had answered one, started an on line relationship and was fleeced of thousands of pounds. He was using a false identity, someone elses photo and came from a different country to America where he said he was from. He stopped contact when she ran out of money. In case you are tempted to be a friend, beware...