My doctor called me 'An elderly Lady.'

If you were admitted to hospital you could be in a ward for the elderly. Considerations have to be made for treatments because of age whether young or old. No way could your GP view you as anything other than elderly. Inspite of how we consider ourselves, how fit we may, be there is a time we have to acknowledge being elderly. It's hard and I too don't like it and find I get angry at all those dithering old folk in the queues who don't have their card easily got at or their purse ready to pay. Then I think, I'm probably older than that old soul!

I’ve worked for the NHS for a long time, and I thought that words like ‘elderly’ had been banished! Certainly in one NHS Trust it was recognised that the actual word ‘elderly’ conveyed a passive, victim like person. ‘Older adult’ seems to convey more dignity.

There’s really no need for doctors or anyone to make subjective remarks to or about patients! ?

I was referred to as a geriatric mother when I had my son when I was 28. Thought it was funny then, and still do.

It's when shop assistants start calling you 'dear'

My grandma was most upset when her church asked her if she would like to hand over her voluntary job to someone younger in the congregation. The job was visiting elderly parishoners, and she indignantly pointed out that the older people loved to have a visitor, apparently she was oblivious to the fact that she was 95 at the time and considerably older than most of the 'poor old souls' she was supporting.

It is a medical thing, I am a nurse and have often thought it was an outdated practice. If it’s any comfort, in 1982 when I was expecting my first child I was referred to as an ‘elderly primip’ in my notes. I was 26 at the time. Age is a number -don’t let it upset you.

Cornergran
Exactly. Age is but a number?

It seems from the post I've read, later this year l turn from middle age to 'elderly' ? bring it on

My husband & I were going into a supermarket the other day, I do understand it's best if you go singly, but he wanted to look at the wine. When we were going through the door, one of the staff came up to us & asked if we needed to be together, to which my husband replied quite adamantly 'yes!', she replied well I suppose you are 'elderly' so that's alright!!!! We are mid seventies, but it was still a shock!

Your post made me chuckle - I think age is about how you feel and I certainly wouldn’t consider you elderly. I’m 61 and struggle to even think of myself as middle aged, ?

I received a copy of a letter from an orthopaedic surgeon who described me as a 'right dominant social worker'. He had dictated the letter whilst I was still with I him and I had interrupted his flow to point out that I was no longer a social worker as I had given up my registration 6 years into retirement. My interruption presumably caused him to leave out the word 'hand' as in 'right hand dominant social worker'. I laughed out loud!!

I was an elderly prima gravia at 25!!!

Love it!!!

A bit mean, and harsh, MaggieTulliver! No need for that.(are you one of those Mumsnetters who infiltrate our GN camp?) ?

Joesoap, don’t let a hip replacement make you feel old! I had both of mine replaced in my 30s and am now due to go into hospital for my 8th hip revision to them. I am 77 and don’t feel old - just mature ?

I hate to say it, but mid seventies IS 'elderly' as its a bit over the pension age isnt it? I know you dont FEEL elderly, but if you all in your seventies were 'middle- aged' then wouldn't that put life expectancy up to 140-150?I guess real middle-age is about 35-45 at a pinch, but somehow we always use the description of a 'middle-aged person' as someone in the late 40's to mid 50's, don't we?I wonder how that started..Anyhow, good on you Venus, for the being modern, and hair colouring, i too intend to continue doing so as long as i possibly can, (am only 57 at moment) as our good family genes luckily make us all look a lot younger, Everyone who asks me thinks I'm in my lateish 40's.(i have an eldest daughter 41 this year who doesn't look anywhere near it either!) ?Keep it up Venus!

At the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, I asked my daughter's brother in law who is a doctor, whether his inlaws and I were now classed as 'elderly' the 3 of us were late 60's. The young man looked embarrassed and confirmed that yes, we were officially 'elderly'. We were most perturbed, elderly was not in our vocabulary.

When my grandmother was the age I am now – and, from what you say, the age you are now – I suppose that, had I been asked, I would have described her as elderly. Labels are not always helpful but I guess doctors need to get a handle on the state of our bodies by reference to age. But I certainly wouldn’t generally welcome being described as “elderly” – even though I know I am!

Ha ha.....age is relative ! I had my daughter aged 33 ....when she did history at school she came home and asked me if I wore a crinolin when I was younger ! She also said her friend asked if it was her granny who picked her up (where I lived then it was usual to have children when you were no more than 25 ......but yes, I AM ancient ...don't care who knows it .....doesn't bother me at all ......where I live now, I am 'Pet, Petal, Sweetheart, Man...ha ha nah bother !

grandtanteJE65

If we are purely talking of age, I suppose we all have to admit that we are elderly - after all I shall be seventy this year and I suspect that most of you are either only slightly younger or around that yourselves.

Habit of mind is another kettle of fish. As far as that goes, I don't feel either elderly or old, or even middle-aged.

My body does not always agree with my mind about this, I may add.

None of us like being called elderly, or old, but I think we should try to be less vain about this. How else could we be described? And would we really be more flattered if someone came up with another word for our age-groups?

Could we turn things around in our minds, and regard elderly or old as a compliment on having got this far?

After all, it is sadly likely that we all have lost dear friends and relatives who were younger than we are now when they died. I know I have.

Grandetante, "None of us like being called elderly, or old, but I think we should try to be less vain about this. How else could we be described? And would we really be more flattered if someone came up with another word for our age-groups?"

I think we could perhaps accept being referred to as "Older persons."

I try to persuade myself that it doesn’t have to be all bad.

One famous poet said she’d do as follows ⬇️ (I love the contradiction in the tone of fun-v- the title, ‘Warning’!)

‘When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.’

There’s also Dame Peggy Ashcroft, to my mind at her peak in her roles as elderly women (in India, etc)

Four years ago the hospital oncologist specialist in his report about me put “this remarkable ninety four year old woman.”
My elderly son is 72. My fifty year old grandson and his thirty seven year old wife are expecting their first child.
My granddaughter had her three children in her late thirties.
You are as old as you feel.

I too am in my seventies and do not feel elderly at all. It was with great reluctance that I had to accept being classed as being "elderly" when they started talking about who was going to get the vaccine first - frontline workers and the elderly. However, I am still NOT elderly!!!

I think the elephant in the room is death, and many of us understandably, don’t want to acknowledge being labelled old, elderly and so on, because it reminds us we are getting nearer to the inevitable. Death isn’t just something that happens to others, although we live much of our lives kidding ourselves it is.

It makes me feel it is so important to live in the moment, because non of us know how long we’re here, however “young” we may look or feel.

I’m not surprised you feel affronted. I would too if I’d been in your position.
You are NOT being unreasonable by thinking this. I’m 63 and I still think of myself as middle aged (which is a bit ridiculous, but there you go)