My doctor called me 'An elderly Lady.'

Venus My neighbour's children & friend were playing on their new trampoline with balloons, one popped over the fence into my garden. I was up the back dealing with some garden rubbish, so they must have known I was there. I heard the little boy friend calling out ^ old lady, old lady^ clearly for the return of their balloon.

Walking back down the garden, I saw their balloon and popped it back over, but if the little boy had called out for the old lady again, I would have replied ^ Oh there's no old lady here^

The very nice respiratory consultant who wrote to my GP about me some time after I was discharged from hospital (pneumonia) evidently saw no need to describe me as ‘elderly’ - he just referred to me as a 74 year old woman.

To be fair I am probably lucky to be rather fitter and more mobile than many of my age, which he had probably gathered at my follow up appt., when I was more or less back to normal.

annodomini

To be called an 'elder' in many cultures is an honourable description. Why is it that when the suffix -ly is added, it seems to be derogatory?

Because in English, it just sounds doddery! As if you’re a bent old person with a stick, like in the warning road signs - ‘watch out, elderly people about’.

If my GP didn't refer to me as 'elderly', what other description would apply? 'Old lady' suggests decrepitude. What about a 'woman of a certain age'? Too vague? An 82-year-old-woman[? Precise, but then 'elderly' is convenient shorthand, if not to the OP's liking. At least the person with whom the GP is communicating knows what they mean.

trisher

I was an "elderly prima gravida" when I had my first child. As was anybody who gave birth after 30 for the first time. I've had 40 years to get used to the word elderly it doesn't bother me now!

I was called the same when I had my first DD at 28. It's only a word I mostly ignore.
I vowed at 40 that I was not going to grow old gracefully and try my best not to.
It's what you feel and act like that counts not what is on a G.P.'s chart.
If you say no when asked if they can call you by your first name at the Dr's , Dentist and hairdressers you are labelling yourself.
I try to go with the flow. It doesn't bother me either.

When does one become elderly?

When one makes observations such as

I would add she looked like she had just come out of school. !

I didn’t realise I was elderly until I went into hospital last year and realised how the young doctors and nurses saw me. My own DC certainly don’t think of me as elderly. I’m still 35 inside, so who is that old lady in the mirror and why am I trapped in this body?

If mid-70’s isn’t elderly - what is?
I may not feel elderly at 75, but there’s no denying my age!
How about thinking of yourself as “spry” - I always fancied that!

annodomini

To be called an 'elder' in many cultures is an honourable description. Why is it that when the suffix -ly is added, it seems to be derogatory?

a wise elder is something to be proud of..

Why has this been rehashed it was started 2 years ago
How do people find these old threads, it always tells me they have mooo~ed

I had noticed the date, two years ago 😄
I think saying older woman or senior may be a bit more acceptable.
I’m not elderly but understand that it’s disconcerting to be referred to that way for older ladies.Will ‘mature’ fit the bill?

MerylStreep

Grantanow

Would you prefer he referred to you as an 'old woman' or an 'aged female'?

I doubt if the OP is still bothered about a comment made in
*March 2021*

Oh, I don't know; after all, she's a whole 2½ years older now, so late seventies!

have always coloured my hair, so no grey
I haven't coloured my hair for about 30 years (it has been many colours over the years!) and it's still not grey so I can't be elderly 😁

Grantanow

Would you prefer he referred to you as an 'old woman' or an 'aged female'?

I doubt if the OP is still bothered about a comment made in
March 2021

Urmstongran

I just suppose in medical terms, the reality is your heart, liver, kidneys are 70+ years old which is all your doctor is concerned about. Not whether you colour your hair or wear skinny jeans.
?

Urms LOL

On the ball again!

Kate1949

My 93 year old neighbour was upset when her GP described her as elderly!

Haha! I hope she put the doctor right!

Would you prefer he referred to you as an 'old woman' or an 'aged female'?

The problem is that the word 'elderly' is freighted with so many connotations of frailty, and mental fragility that it does make ones hackles rise.

I have always worked on a three fold division of age: 0-29 young, 30-59 middle-aged and 60 and over as old. I consider how one feels or thinks oneself the basic facts of chrnology and life span places in one of these three categories and there is no avoiding it.

Oddly what I find infuriating is people going all goggleyed and exclamatory when they realise I am 80. 'But you do not look 80', which is actually patently ridiculous. How people look at 80 is immensely variable.

Browsing through DH's employer's pensioner's magazine, which is full of people reaching golden and diamond wedding anniversaries and/or their 90th and 100th birthdays. I am pretty standard looking as 80 year olds go.

It is just that younger people have such stereotypical ideas of what older people look like.

And I hate elderly as well.

I thought elderly and very elderly were terms used for specific ages within the medical world.

They are. I really don't understand why people get so concerned about it - I'm 67, so will be elderly in a few years. How people view me and how they refer to me doesn't change who or what I am one iota. It will have no effect on what I do or how I dress or how I act.

I did once 'dear' a doctor back and he didn't bat an eyelid. Bless him

I thought elderly and very elderly were terms used for specific ages within the medical world.
After tripping and knocking myself out and cracking some ribs I do feel a little bit older - but not elderly yet!

Can't say it bothers me one bit someone saying I am elderly.

I was in the car park last week at our local D I Y store. A fella asked me to give him a lift with a bag of cement into his boot. I lifted it for him, and he said "thanks, you can't do these things when you are 60"I'm in my eighties!

Cheeky ! 73 is just over middle aged, my dad worked till 78, and died at 97 ,he was 86 before we considered him elderly if then,

I was called old when I had my son at 31 I was ancient when I had my daughter at 35. Well I am a naughty nanny now at 65 because when most nannies are tucked up in bed. This nanny is on her iPad and nursing a glass of wine to help with sleep. Our young family have COVID all been vaccinated with mild symptoms. Obviously we can’t see them but it doesn’t stop you worrying about them.

Also I have some dark spots appear on my skin and the dr said that they were associated with people getting old. I am 69 and not ready to be called elderly!

I hate the term “elderly”. When I get to 100 then people can call me elderly but until then they had better run if they mention the word!!!