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Everyday Ageism

Shop assistants

(122 Posts)
EmHar Tue 11-May-21 13:44:23

I HATE being called love , dear or any familiar word by shop staff : makes me feel incredibly old which as a newish retiree I am not . Just patronising!

LOUISA1523 Tue 10-Jan-23 20:15:39

Doesnt worry me in the slightest as long as they smile and are attentive

Fleurpepper Tue 10-Jan-23 17:17:46

I can't stand poncy shop assistants who look and talk down at you! So yes, give me friendly ones with a bit of banter- as I experienced when we moved to the West then East Mids- and still now.

valdali Tue 10-Jan-23 17:13:07

Brought up in WMidlands,worked in Leicester for a while. "Duck" not unknown in WMids, & rife in Leicester when I was there. I like these casual friendlinesses & on occassion do use them myself. In Bristol, the amount of times I've called a someone "duck" & got a double take or not knowing whether to take offense response - it doesnt go down well at all. Particularly with men / boys.

baubles Tue 10-Jan-23 17:10:40

Oldbat1

In Scotland it was normal to be referred to as Hen. I call all dogs “darlin”. Pet, lovely, darling, love, son, mate, duck all very common depending on whichever area of country you are in. No problem with such terms.

A woman I worked with many moons ago always responded to this with “I know I’m no chicken but don’t call me Hen!!” grin

MerylStreep Tue 10-Jan-23 16:53:26

If a shop assistant makes you feel old by calling you dear, that’s your problem, not the friendly shop assistant.

AreWeThereYet Tue 10-Jan-23 16:47:44

Couldn't care less so long as it's intended to be polite. I've been addressed as hen, darling, dear, luvvie, miss, mrs, madam, ma'am, cariad, and all sorts of other things all my life so it's nothing to do with age. The only thing that really grates with me is 'Hun' but I wouldn't make a fuss about it (just keep my distance from them in the future 😄).

Whatever term someone uses there will be someone who complains about it - perhaps wear a big name badge in the future ? 'Call me Mrs Smith'

Oldbat1 Tue 10-Jan-23 15:45:57

In Scotland it was normal to be referred to as Hen. I call all dogs “darlin”. Pet, lovely, darling, love, son, mate, duck all very common depending on whichever area of country you are in. No problem with such terms.

REXF Tue 10-Jan-23 15:29:25

It’s ‘duck’ here.
I don’t mind at all.
“Eye oop duck”
Nice and friendly.

Dubnan Sat 15-Oct-22 23:00:41

Doesn't bother me in the slightest

Witzend Mon 01-Aug-22 16:29:24

I don’t mind any of them, inc. hen, duck and ‘my lover’, heard only in the West Country AFAIK.

MerylStreep Mon 01-Aug-22 16:19:38

B9exchange

Is it only me having deja vu, didn't we discuss this on another thread not that long ago? smile

Look at the date. May 2021
Your not wrong.

Tinckerbell Mon 01-Aug-22 16:07:13

In business I was called 'my dear', as though I was fresh from school so I just said "I am not your dear, my name is Mrs .... and I would like to be addressed like that".

JillEH Tue 06-Jul-21 20:44:57

I love it when a shop worker calls me Madam! As a veteran shop worker I love to receive good service from someone who knows their job.

Joyfulnanna Mon 17-May-21 02:00:21

Alright Lucca mate ?

Nannabumble70 Sun 16-May-21 11:27:26

Just meant as friendly words to me, I don't mind.

baubles Sun 16-May-21 09:26:52

One of the customers at the charity shop the other day called me ‘Dolly’ several times, no offence meant and none taken.

Katie59 Sun 16-May-21 09:24:18

I do 3 days a week on the supermarket tills these days, I love it, with a new customer, I break the ice with “hello how are you today”. Most respond in some way, which leads to brief chat and ending in “bye”, management encourage this approach.
There in no need to use love, dear, mate or any other any address.

welbeck Sun 16-May-21 01:51:24

Jemma75

I'm more interested if they acknowledge me by looking in my eyes along with a pleasant expression.

i would find that a bit creepy.
i don't really want people who i am only encountering in a functional or passing capacity trying to look into my soul.
it seems unnecessary, intrusive.
a glance in the general direction suffices.

poshpaws Sun 16-May-21 01:42:31

I like it - I think they're trying to be kind. Up where I am the local lingo is Doric, and I always feel quite chuffed when someone says "my quine" to me!

Lucca Fri 14-May-21 18:28:07

I rest my case

B9exchange Fri 14-May-21 17:47:02

I do enjoy the ambulance programmes, but the staff seem to end every single sentence with 'sweet', 'darling' or some other endearment. It does sound patronising, I know they mean well, but they do after all know the patient's name.

Beanie654321 Fri 14-May-21 17:42:07

I think I'm old fashioned at 62 years of age. I like to be addressed as Mrs .... unless I state otherwise. I feel respect is a little on the short side at times.

Lucca Fri 14-May-21 07:39:57

Joyfulnanna

Yes I can't bear it when people working in shops ask "are you guys are ready...(to order) etc" - I'm sure it's an Americanism!

Oooh no ! Not an Americanism! How dreadful.

Honestly I can’t believe the moaning on here about how people address you. so the odd term may grate possibly but so what ? If you’re dealt with pleasantly surely that’s all that matters.

arosebyanyothername Fri 14-May-21 07:28:29

I gritted my teeth yesterday when a shop assistant called me sweetheart. Then noticed she called everyone that so calmed down.
Still don't like it though

nanna8 Fri 14-May-21 00:44:55

They nearly always use first names here e.g at chemist, doctors etc. If they used your surname you’d get a shock! The only ones I don’t like are hun and sweetie because they are condescending. Mostly it is love or mate round here. Not something I think about day to day.