People trying to "help"! And my reaction ....

Blooming difficult but you’ll never stop well meaning people offering to help ..,there maybe a day when you do indeed need help …All you can do is change Your attitude and as already said say thank you so much I got with a smile

It will be a sad day when people don’t offer to help. Perhaps just say “.thank you but I can manage”

Also is the OP saying that anyone that does need the help (old or not) is an 'old has been'? See, you've to be aware that what you're saying is also insulting or hurting others Hennahead- i too look youthful at 60 (good young- looking genes in our family) but also having osteoarthritis among other things, sometimes i DO need help, sometimes im ok- but if folk kindly offer i say either thank you and accept the help or on a better day i say no im fine but thank you.And as for in the bank well they ask everyone dont they? Theres always a person near the door in our bank whose job is to offer help as people come in, regardless of age or ability.Those who dont need it say 'no thanks' & go do it themselves.No need to be hurt & angry.🤔

I swear at myself, and give myself stern talkings to.
Under my breath.

I always chastise self but really hate it when people stand up and offer their seat. I do appreciate the kindness the courtesy the manners but still just simply hate it. Respond with grace of course and thank profoundly but shiver indignantly but secretly. Love it though when muscular beefcakes take my usually extra heavy cases off the carousel. Obv am a hypocrite but managed to forgive self.

It amazes me that you could be so rude and overreacting to a bit of kindness. Maybe you need to change the way you react to be offered help as one day you may need it

Just say - in a nice way and with a smile - no thank you, I can manage. People are just being friendly you know 😊

I think all people like to feel independent, but a stranger can't be expected to know what your individual issues are.
So they may offer help or the wrong kind.
My neighbour once ironed all my tea towels for me.

Some people still like to feel independent and are only grateful for help when requested.

People offering help and finding themselves snapped at or treated rudely may well think twice about offering help to another person who is in dire need.
I am grateful for any offer of help, it makes me think that the real world isn't as bad as we read about in the newspapers every day. If you don't want/need help a gracious thank you for the offer is all that's needed.

petra

What a shame with all that education you weren’t taught manners.

So with you on that comment! I’m always extremely grateful for any offers of help, travel a lot to London, trains, tubes and buses, it’s mostly young men who carry bags up and down steps for me, I always say thanks very much, you’re mum must be very proud of you, both of us walk off with a smile on our faces.

If people are 'snappy' when offered help then soon those of us who do need it will find that no one will offer any more for fear of being snubbed.

I have always accepted assistance when offered if I needed it and politely refused if I didn't. Good manners cost nothing.

When patronised I usually say I may be old but not thick!

MissAdventure 👍 Not having grey hair, if natural, is not a sign of good health, as I can unfortunately testify, neither is “looking young” for that matter.

Why do the younger generation (under 50s!) think that all oldies are IT illiterate?
I am a silver haired 75 year old and recently went to a well known shop to but a new laptop. I was treated as if I was a complete idiot by the salesperson.
Having worked in IT in various technical roles, and mildly annoyed by his attitude, I started asked complicate technical questions. He didn’t know the answers and still tried to patronise me. I suggested he asked a manager for the answers but he declined. I left the shop, commenting that I would but me laptop from someone who knew what he was talking about.

I am ashamed to say that I reacted in a similar way in the supermarket once. I usually use the self checkout and take my own bags which always need checking by staff before I can start scanning. I usually just wait patiently, say “thank you “ when they are approved and carry on. This time a member of staff that I hadn’t seen before came, approved the bags and then proceeded to try to show me how to scan. I told him that I was fine and that I didn’t need any more help, but he continued to “show “me! I have to admit that I then snapped at him until he went away. Not only do I know how to scan, but I used to work in M&S so I know about the inner workings of self checkout tills.

Why so angry, one day you may need help, any of us might, for now you don’t and this is good. Also good you get on with life. Just say, very kind if you, but I’m fine thank you. Offering help
Is not rude and used to be seen as a good thing. How is the helper being patronising?

Callistemon21

No grey yet though 😁

I'm now grey, frizzy, greasy, and with bald patches thrown in, just for good measure.

I'm fine with that if they don't say 'bless'.

I don’t wear make u very often, but I have my shoulder length hair cut and coloured and keep to a good skin care regime and wear what I want! I’m a grandmother but not an old hill Billy granny!

Oh dear, you do sound like you’re Stalin some days and I honestly believe people are just being kind and think they’re helping. A brief smile and a no thank you will suffice

I turned down the offer of help today when my gardener offered to climb up the bank to cut of some brambles.
My reply was that I had to prove to myself that I could and I did. Metal hips working well
I was glad of a bit of help down though

No grey yet though 😁

TreeLover
I don’t think we are being harsh. The OP told us exactly what she thought of people who tried to help her.
She may not have voiced it but she certainly thought it.

My hair's been short for years - I look like a wild woman if it's longer! Rain, damp, wind, heat, humidity and it does it's own thing.

Sleek bob? Forget it except perhaps for five minutes after struggling with it for half an hour after washing 😁